Posted in A LIL TASTE OF JAMARI, LIVIN' THIS LIFE WE LIVE, THE GREAT WOLF HUNT

I Met A Wolf and I’m Already Acting Like “Boomquisha”.

   Published Date: July 26, 2012  15 Comments on I Met A Wolf and I’m Already Acting Like “Boomquisha”.

“sup”
“nothing sup with you…”
“liked your pictures and i want to get to know you…”
“what?”
“lol i said i want to get to know you. i’m feeling what i see…”
“wait, what?”
“are you okay?
“i’m fine, i’m not retarded. you’re just… different… and that’s different.”

—————————

yeah foxes…
what?
no sex?
no “how fat is my ass“?
no” when can we fuck“?
no “can we chill one day to watch a movie“?
you actually… want to get know me?
what’s wrong with you?

ugly?
fat?
an illusion?
a robot?
your left leg is longer than the right?

we all have a hidden “boomquisha/pookie” within us.
that “eye rolling/huffin and puffin/”why is you lying?” spirit that thinks everything is not what it is.
as much as we want to be “buffy/scott“:
the smiling/excited/naive spirit!
… we sometimes simply can’t.

you stay with a hard eye roll because you already know “seeing it believing” and “niggas is bullshit“.
it is a shocker when someone in the lifestyle actually wants to get to know you.
are we so jaded into already thinking the wolf on the other end may only be interested in one thing?
or, is this what the lifestyle has brought us?

i started to wonder…

Do we sabotage potential relationships with our thoughts?

i met someone.
totally by accident.
wasn’t even looking.
i was going through my phone last week and i noticed Jack’d was sitting in a folder.
i thought i erased it, to be completely honest.
i haven’t been on Jack’d since last year when I was talking to the Urban Snow Wolf.
after all his bullshit, I logged out and never looked back.

i felt a little bold that day.
maybe i had too much starburst or something.
i knew i would erase it, but i said “what the hell?“.
i threw a face picture up publicly.
something i NEVER do.
i kid you not, within 3 minutes, i had about 7 messages.

“damn you cute.”
“wassup with you?”
“i’m trying to get that. sup?”
“damn bitch, you is cute.”

…and other typical shit.
none my type.
the last message was a simple:

“sup.”

he had locked pictures, but i liked his profile
i said “what the hell…” and we started talking.
now, i had this thing before where i was trying to be someone else.
i thought that being a “hoe” got you taken seriously.
i even thought being a online thug was “in”.
this time, i was my usual sarcastic smart assey self.
i didn’t “pretend” to be hood or be UN-interested.
i didn’t start talking about sex because i was so use to it.
i just made jokes and showed interested.
after a long 4 hour conversation about everything including sex,
he unlocked his pictures and was quite surprised at how good looking he was.
he is very “early twenties” and isn’t a baller wolf by far,
but he has a conversation.
something i have missed for a while.
sometimes i just want to talk and wolves don’t seem to “get that“.
we exchanged numbers and we are still talking.
we even skyped one night just so i could see him live.
he has a few red flags (drinking and smoking),
but i called him on them early.

thing is, i am taking it very slow.
we haven’t met and i told him i’m not ready to meet until i am ready.
there was no hesitation or even a break in conversation.
and the thing i like: he hits me up.
i did end up later on showing him some foxtail shots.
i was bored.

aaah.
the first initial stage of meeting someone online.
it is perfect until….

…and that is it.
the “what’s next?”
the, “this is great but…?”
i hate to sound like debbie downer but:

WHAT’S WRONG WITH HIM??!?!?!?


i’m sure he is talking to other foxes.
he is cute as shit.
should i be talking to other wolves?
god forbid he sees my profile online and then he is in his own “dating sabotage” about me.
i feel so over that online scene to even be on there,
but i can’t help but wonder if i should keep my options open?
i’m already on “yes” – this is why i’m on heavy “boomquisha/pookie“.

i started to think about dating sabotage.
is it so hard to go with the flow these days?
or, do you have to stay guarded just in case he turns out to be like everyone else?
should we already have a back up waiting in the wings?
as much as meeting people online is great,
why is it always that one surprise later on?
that one deal breaker that you simply cannot ignore?

stalker?
bad breath?
an online pimp?
or, perfect in texts/a mess in real life?

this is when “boomquisha/pookie” comes out and sadly, that is where it may end.

so, i had to ask…

Why is it always something?

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15 thoughts on “I Met A Wolf and I’m Already Acting Like “Boomquisha”.”

  1. I love conversation…it’s one of my biggest turnons. You don’t wanna miss out on something b/c ur scared of the what-ifs. Go for it but don’t let your guard down. And it doesn’t hurt to have another wolf or two on the side.

  2. why is the idea of someone wanting to get to know you abnormal??? thats weird. isn’t that the way it works? I’ve been accustomed to guys getting to know me, sending me good morning texts, taking me out, buying me flowers, taking me to dinners and trips. in my experiences i seem to have been the one who wanted to FUCK. I’ve seen the board – dope boys, Dr, Biologist, Photographer, Modelssssss, Greek bruhs, married men with kids, dope boys, Chefs, Financiers, ..good luck, best wishes, I am happy for you though Jamari, I’ve been reading your joint for some time now and you seem like a cool dude and nice one too. I think it’s the way you present yourself that determines how people perceive you and in turn how they treat you, I was out on a date with one guy once and he was the most “lovable” Jamaican (all my jamaican fam are krazy as hell..so was he too) ive known. He cooked for me, and took me out.. even though i laughed at his tall dark ghetto ass for being a Punk jamaican … (he almost knocked my sharp mouth jaw out)..but when i asked him why he was single he told me the last guy he dated went with him cus he looked and acted like a “thug” so to speak and that the boy moved on because he was a sweetheart, so his mindset now was to fuck em and dump em…then i asked why we weren’t doing that and he just said cus he felt different with me….point is, i tell bottoms, don’t plaster your ass out (in private pics or public pics) on a site where everyone is watching you, why is that the first thing they see? Don’t put your body on display, show your silhouette not your ass, think of a bad chick and what makes her bad, she doesn’t have all half assed pics out else we’ll all call her a HO and noone like a ho.

      1. you’re welcome foxy jamari/fox o neil, im hooked to ya foxhole sincei started reading…and sending out a pic…and to peak of, when do i see ya pic? i should get that for my 20th nuh?

  3. Hey Jamari man, I been missing in action, had to move and hadn’t had any internet, well since I been gone from the foxhole, I have met a fox and damn if I didn’t think these same things that you were thinking, and have all the same doubts.

    First of all, he wasn’t really my type, he is young, and not as masculine as the dudes I usually fall for, I really did not put much stock into him, He hit me up online about 6 months ago, and we chatted briefly but nothing transpired, well he hit me up again, so I said wtf and gave him a chance. Let me tell you that was the best thing I could have done, at first I was like this is some kind of joke, this aint for real, this dude was so mature for his age, and his conversation was light years ahead of older dudes, I have talked to. He wasn’t about sex right off. He introduced me to his family, something that I usually shy away from when dealing with dudes, he is out and all of his family accept him. He knows who he is and is not afraid. I started early on having self doubts and doing my usual negative thinking, and was ready to give him the boot because he was young, out, really started to tell me his true feelings,I was like Im not used to a dude really feeling me like this, and making me grow up and stop playing about what I really wanted. I just followed my heart for once and I stepped out of my comfort zone. My heart has been stomped on in the past, but that’s the chance we have to take. I have to prepare myself for not being so closeted with this dude, but maybe he came into my life to make me accept myself and live life not giving one fuck what people will say or think. I can be myself around him, I don’t have to pretend to be something Im not and we just clicked. I would be lying if I still didn’t have doubts that he is for real, since I have been played in the past so many times but if it doesn’t work out at least I can say I was happy for a little while, and that is more than I can say here lately being, by myself. You never know who is going to be the one, because this situation came out of left field and was not expected, had I followed my usual self, I would have never found out how good it is to have someone who can make you smile, its been so long, I think I had forgot. We have been inseparable since we met, and I find myself thinking about us having a life together. It has hit me like a ton of bricks, I have dealt with down low closeted dudes like myself and we can never fully accept our selves, and that’s why these relationships of mines have been duds. Now I can see why I see dudes say, they will not deal with DL dudes. It is so different dealing with a dude who knows who he is and who he is not. Stay tuned I will let yall know how this turns out(smile).

    1. That’s so great. That smile in brackets at the end made it’s way over to my face man. Jamari should pursue his too.

  4. How about you just enjoy what this is – and keep your eyes open. Don’t mess things up w/self-sabotage.

      1. I’ll say this. If you don’t wanna be hurt, don’t put yourself out there. Just be alone. That is the only 100% way to ensure that.

        Relationships involve risk – point blank, period. If you’re that afraid of being hurt, don’t do it. You can minimize things by watching for signs & keeping your head in the game (over your heart), but ish happens; sometimes when we least expect it. Paranoia will fvck things up – promise.

      2. I agree with what Wolfie said. You just have to take that chance. When it comes to relationships, that “what if” will always be in the back of your mind, especially if you have been hurt before.

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