i got something to font about byron perkins and his white man

i get so many goodies while on my days off.
there are times i want to pop on but i’m learning to step away.
on friday,
my box got blown up about byron perkins,
the openly gay pre-baller wolf from hampton.
( x we fonted about him a few times )
on the first day of pride,
he decided to shake the table by debuting who he loves

and of course,
everyone in the black gay community had a moment.
it left me to ponder:

Almost every black male who has come out publicly has been romantically linked with a white male.
Why is this?

i’m gonna font a controversial statement:

I’m starting to think that this is our fault that we don’t have a lot of gay black male love stories.

many of us don’t treat each other well.
the basis of sex is higher in gay life than finding love itself.
white males have a privilege that black males don’t have.
what if he tried to date black males and was treated horribly/wasn’t wanted?
i have a feeling he would date his clone if he found another black male.

…and that is another thing.
i was sent this in one of the dossiers:

if he was dating a fine white male,
would this even be a conversation?
or would it still be?
i thought they told us to stop looking at “looks” to find a partner.
i’m confused and leads me to my next point:

When black vixens find love in “white/other”,
because we all know how traumatic and abusive black dating can be,
she gets cheered on.
When a black male gets into a relationship with a “white/other”,
either gay or straight,

it’s these hosts of issues and sudden outrage.

look foxhole…
a majority of these folks feeling outraged are single
i’d imagine if we were all in happy relationships,
we wouldn’t care what or who bryon was doing.
if we went down the rabbit holes in many of our lives,
it would lead to one that is built on sex and fantasy.
spending days in and out of sex apps looking for meaningless hookups.
having burner accounts for a timeline of porn or harassing straight sex workers.
creating onlyfans to find appreciation and love in our sex work.

bryon and his mate seem like a non-issue to me.
he might have found someone who actually likes him.
isn’t that the point?
isn’t that what we are all looking for?


Do we want to see him with another black male because it will somehow make us feel hope about trying to find out?

Will we live vicariously through his life of “black gay love” because fantasy is better than reality?


lowkey: even my cousin is dating a white male.
i asked him why and he was honest about it.
he would love to find that great black love.

black gay males,
no matter if they were fine or mid,
didn’t treat him well or didn’t want him.

23 thoughts on “i got something to font about byron perkins and his white man

  1. I just wanted to add somewhat of a different perspective; I think people are not taking into account the HBCU experience and the fact that it pretty much changes the entire issue. Actually having gone to Hampton’s homecoming while this young man was either in the process of coming out or came out the week after. Its hard to convey the HBCU experience to someone who hasn’t gone to one but to be around so many black men and women who are striving to achieve their goals is not only a breath of fresh air but is down right intoxicating, and invigorating. At Hampton University as an African American not only are you the majority but you are centered and as a result become the standard in a way you don’t get to experience in everyday America. Also, its important to note that the Hampton Roads area is home to many colleges and universities (33 in total), Norfolk State and ODU( old Dominion University) being right up the street. When you take it all into account their are literally thousands of good ,decent, fine eligible black men and probably hundreds who identify with the LGBTQIA+ community. To be in that type of environment where mathematically and statistically you should’ve ended up with someone black but choose someone white is jarring and worth a deep dive.

    I do theoretically believe in the idea of the interracial relationship; however if we are to be real I find to many black men on either side of the spectrum between gay or straight are too comfortable being fetishes for white people. Black people in America have fought to hard and long for our humanity to be acknowledged and to have agency over our bodies, I just hate that there are some black people who don’t mind being used as playthings in order to gain some type of access to privilege or acceptance.

    After all is said and done I do wish this young man the best, I just hope he didn’t squander and refuse to take advantage of the opportunity that is in front of him; education aside you only get a very brief moment in time to be young at an HBCU surrounded by people with a world of promise given everything that he has going for himself.

  2. It’s funny how the so called “good” “educated” Black people who “have their shit together” can never find each other. Every Black person ain’t shit cept for them, yet they somehow never end up with each other. Just real funny how that is.

    It’s also funny how we never see a fit gorgeous White dude with an out of shape ugly Black man. I would expect this to be just as common if everybody only goes with someone who treats them well. Oh wait you mean to tell me that’s a thing only Black people do. And somehow it’s always only the unattractive White people who treat them well, never the cute ones.

    Do y’all think gay White men aren’t done dirty by other gay White men? Why is it everybody else can be done dirty by their people, they blame it on the individual and move on to the next but negroes blame it on the entire race and wanna be done with their kind as a whole.

    1. Well said, every excuse in the book is made for black men who date outside the race. The truth is the men have always desired whiteness, they think white men no matter how they look are more attractive than black men.
      This man was at an HBCU and you can’t tell me he couldn’t find one genuine black male? Truth, he always wanted a white man! Black men date outside the race more than all other ethnicity males combined, and yet we have individuals (who really want white men rather they are willing to admit it or not) defending this “preference”. Also, let’s not forgot how many white men do lurk around HBCUs looking to fulfill their black men fetishes and they know black men have a weakness for whiteness and money! These white men will open their wallets use and use their white privilege to fufill their bbc fetish!
      Successful black men do not want to leave their money to other black people! Every black male that is an athlete always has a white boyfriend. I personally feel
      We should not support them.

    2. @Normie🙌❤️
      You expressed for me what I couldn’t quite formulate! Thank you.

  3. I can only comment on myself. I Love Black men. I love their BS, I love their voice, I love everything about them. White men do nothing for me. We can be friends but that’s it. I love Black men….not these dolls that are passing as men either.

  4. I don’t care who you date. I have dated non- Black men and woman.


    It seems an odd coincidence that many High-Profile Black Athletes that “Come out ” always have a Non- Black Partners. The only true way to know why is to ask them. I don’t have time for that so here is my personal experience .

    I am in love with a Black Man and my last 2 partners were Black. I am more physically attracted to Black men ,skin, hair experience . When I did date White it was while attending a majority white school and the other White Interest boldly pursued me .In fact, they have always boldly pursued me more than my Black counterparts . So perhaps that plays a role

    White men and woman are very aggressive when it comes to romance , like , sex etc ( to me ) .

  5. For someone who’s touch base with Bryon, he’s happy and not concerned about the noise.
    He’s a great athlete and does a lot for the lgbtq community.
    Talk more about that and not his dating preference.
    I wonder if he was not a hot dude, if this would even be a story.

    Adios ✌🏻

  6. There’s def a 100% valid, very deep conversation to be had about racial dynamics among gay men, especially between white and black men.

    I just don’t get why we have to drag this particular couple so harshly to talk about that. It could be the case that they just like each other lmao.

    The vitriol is a sign that there’s a lot of (again, valid) pain here.

  7. This blew up my Twitter timeline (and responses for responses are still coming)! I have no issue with who this guy dates, but I will say I was a little surprised given that he went to an HBCU.

    Anyhoo, I do think any analysis about desirability politics involving black people is valuable and warranted. Just as I think the discussions about why black gay men don’t treat each other better or have “gay sex FOMO” or prefer hetero spaces (as some of my friends do) are ALWAYS worth lifting.

  8. He found someone who made him feel safe and loved. Maybe he couldn’t find that in someone “equal” to him as far as physical looks go….considering most muscle gays are narcissistic and full of gay sex FOMO

  9. Cut it out Jamari. Now I’m w you it being a whole damn rabbit hole…

    1, who knows who he encountered when he started getting online and exploring his sexuality. If he met a bunch of white men (as said, there’s a lot more privilege for them, just to be online and explore sexuality), then that could explain a potential proclivity for white men.

    2, let’s not gloss over the reality that when we see these relationships is 9/10 the blk party being the ‘prize’. They’re usually the rich baller/entertainer, w white or ambiguous (very non used to being at blk cookouts based) arm candy. For some strange, magical reason, those white ppl giving the above energy, always end up winning ‘the prize’.

    3, we can’t get around the fact that blk gay men have too often (for many of the reasons in the article) had a ‘ima just go get me a white man’ approach, so, many blk gay men and women want to see that a (potential) successful blk person chose someone who looks like them.

    4, let’s not gloss over the obvious. It’s not common for two drastically different physically yoked ppl to just end up together. It happens, but the last time I saw it be a fine blk person catching the ‘benefit’ of the sitch, was ______ (I’ll get back to you after digging in crates/or waiting for it to happen) to get back to you on that one.

    Still even more stops down the hole, but my hands are tired lol

      1. I’m impatient, in general. I don’t like gay men’s obsession w heteronormativity. I’m nontraditional in general. I like my space to mind my own business. We dont need to be all up under each other all the damn time to be committed. That doesn’t work for everyone. I spend waaay too much time socializing in hetero spaces, to expect many gay options to just fall into my lap. Not intentionally, that’s just where my longest friendships have been for years. I’m also not sex/hookup focused, which is how many gays, find that ‘love’ that lasts for 2 whole wks.

        1. Ugh you always talking that shit!! I’m the same way except I do like for men to hit on me which is heteronormative. I hate making first moves and it gives me anxiety but I’m slowly yet surely trying to work through it and let go! Everything else you said is spot on!

          I’m happy for anybody who finds love in this hopeless world. Good for them!

          1. The worst anyone can say is ‘no thanks’. And yea, if they’re happy, great. I’m not Dr Umar. Hell, we wouldn’t have fine ass ppl like Shemar Moore or Boris Kodjoe if it weren’t for interracial dating.

            That said, we don’t have to pretend to not ‘get’ why the commentary exists to not be ‘hating’.

  10. Maybe some black women are right about some blackmen…they cheat and nobody got time to worry about that…

    1. ^ is it just the cheating tho?

      there is a lot of mental and emotional abuse happening that we confuse as love or “dating”.

    2. Unless he’s putting White men above Black men, who cares???? Much of this conversation is just people on Twitter projecting their own insecurities onto this couple.

      There are other things people can talk about….like, wth are 35 y/o men dating 19-20 y/o boys?!

  11. I saw someone post this on twitter yesterday. If that young man is happy…… Godspeed. Y’all go to therapy!

    1. ^ so many people in the black community need therapy.
      i’m starting to realize how i was moving before therapy.
      not only that,
      i’m seeing how messed up many people are.

      1. This is a very interesting topic. Me personally I don’t have a problem with interracial relationships it’s just not something that I personally prefer, so if someone who is black wants to pursue an interracial relationship go right on ahead find your happiness however you can find it, but however the only problem that I have is black folks seem to believe that interracial relationships is the all and be all and that’s the only way that you can have a successful relationship as a black person. Not negating the fact that navigating black spaces and black relationships can be absolutely difficult and psychologically draining. In a nutshell the problem is with black people is that black people want other black people to fit or live up to a fantasy that is humanly impossible. As a black person you have to meet or far exceed expectations that white people are not required to met white folks can show up as is and still be considered a prize in whatever package whiteness is wrap in that’s what we should be asking ourselves as black people why do we feel or believe that the grass is always greener on the other side.

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