i woke up today with an attitude.
definitely woke up like dis.
for a long time,
i use to think it was me.
something was wrong with me.
nothing is wrong with me at all.
i have come to a painful conclusion yesterday.
black wolves who get down are fuckin’ dumb asses.
i’ll tell you why…
as you already know,
i am attracted to black wolves.
insanely attracted to them.
i grew up in a household where i witnessed black love up close.
even though my love life isn’t traditional as the straights,
i always seek out black wolves to get this.
well i’m starting to think black wolves are intimidated by me.
this little fox makes black wolves nervous for some reason.
the crazy part is,
if i wanted,
i could get a ton of pussy or whatever from the whites.
it never fails.
so i can check off the list than i am ugly or UN-dateable.
i can stop obsessing if its because my ass isn’t minotaur-ish.
for a long time i thought i was doing something to repel to black wolves.
i’m just fine.
can dress my ass off
can dress any man’s ass off
gives good advice
an inner ratchet that comes out occasionally
can handle just about any issue that comes my way
you know how many vixens at #nyfw were trying to get with me?
this older creative designer asked me if i was a model yesterday.
she was flirting with me heavy.
i was getting attention left and right from vixens.
i have gotten numbers from all kinds of vixens.
you know how they say a wolf and a vixen can’t be friends?
because someone always tries to sleep with the other?
or they end up sleeping together?
well thats usually my case when i meet vixens.
i’m not interested in pussy so i’m good.
old or young,
found their way to come over to speak to me these last few days.
compliment me on my work.
find out who i am.
the model snow wolf i mentioned was open to speaking to me after staring.
he actually made it so i was comfortable to speak to him.
black wolves will stare me down for like an hour and a half.
i walk towards them and they will look away.
they treat me like some sort of leper.
for a long time,
that use to make me feel so insecure.
so i made an effort to introduce myself to this black wolf yesterday.
he wasn’t a “foxhole fantasy”,
but he was something of my type.
no visible tats
i would catch him looking off when i looked in his direction.
i knew he was interested,
but i was gonna walk over to say hello since he wasn’t.
i observed what he was doing to figure out an opening line.
he was working with the various models.
so after i was finished what i was doing,
i went over to him to make conversation.
you know what this pineapple did?
he gave me this attitude,
was very short,
and then walked away.
…and did not look in my direction after that at all.
so i was open,
and was greeted with an attitude,
but yet he was staring and looking in my direction since i got there.
these black wolves who get down are BITCHES.
its definitely not me.
the ones who are d/l and discreet are way too scared.
i gotta play the “phone app/fuck me tonight” game for them.
the ones who are out are way too catty for me.
its a lonely mess what my dating life has become.
i’m almost starting to be use to it.
am i too strong?
look like i am too high maintenance?
maybe i appear too confident?
i’ll admit may intimidate,
because i have that “resting bitch face” issue,
but if a vixen or a snow wolf can go out their way to try to know me,
then why can’t these black wolves?
i’m not gonna change myself just to meet a wolf.
definitely not on the agenda.
it scares me that i’m going to have to date outside my race.
well i’ll do an “omarion ryan/jesus” lookalike:
..but my first choice is always the black wolves.
the ones who i relate with and know the same struggle.
the ones who cast me to the side,
but ironically will go through the trash to look for a date/smash.
how exciting that always turns out to be?!?
lowkey: final day of my #nyfw experience.