i can’t hold down a job

most of us can’t hold down one (or more) of the following:

jobs
money
relationships
friendships

we’ll turn up our noses at someone else’s struggles,
but forget we have struggles in other areas too.

“What about that male that just dropped you?
You just met him and after 2 months,
you are single again and looking for a new relationship.”

“What about that money you spent so frivolously?”

“what about yet another friendship that’s ended?
All these 
ex-friends have the same story about you…”

so i have another job that is probably on it’s last legs.
a side of me didn’t want to post about it.
i share pretty much everything,
but i was embarrassed about potentially being unemployed again.
it’s like being embarrassed about flexing about your relationship,
but it ends because your partner was cheating.
a foxholer,
who i don’t know if was being shady or not,
pointed out how i can’t hold down a job.
while it stung a little,
as i was insecure about it lowkey,
it allowed me to take a step back to figure shit out…

a majority of my jobs were temp to perm positions.

the job where i met work wolf,
i was there for 3 years.
i worked my tail off to prove i was a great worker,
but they allowed greed to take over.
as much as it sucked that it ended,
but i wanted to move on anyway.

shortly after,
the great white wolf got me a job at his company.
that was a direct hire.

that position ended in about a month.
it definitely wasn’t a good fit.

honestly,
i hated everything about it.

after that,
i went to another “temp to perm” assignment that lasted a full year.
it was a massive pay cut,
but i enjoyed how relaxed it was.
i was told from my supervisor i should be hired within 6 months.

they had some drama being the supervisors and another associate,
they switched all of our positions and i was thrown into a role that sucked.
come to find out,
that supervisor tells everyone they’d be hired and never comes through.
they have a high turnover rate there for that reason.

my head huntress found me a job in tech being an office manager.
it was “temp with the possibility of hire”.
i loved it.
it was in the middle of soho too.

i had freedom to do what i wanted with a lot more responsibilies.
this was the first job that i ever felt blatant racism.
the big bosses from canada took one look at me and said “NOPE”.
they wanted a blonde.
that lasted 3 weeks.

currently,
i’m at a new “temp to perm” position.

the duties are cool,
but they are really inefficient and the flexibility sucks.
they are super cheap too.

they don’t hire temps if i’m out,
so i’m literally chained to that desk like a slave.
this job is not a good fit because my supervisor and her assistant make it so.
if they were gone,
i think the position would actually be better.

at all of my jobs,
my co workers like me and my work ethic is always praised.
i could understand i was awful.
usually,
these jobs are never good fits for me.
living in a “at will” state is a whole piece of aggravation.
i know folks with degrees that deal with this too.
i applaud those that found their right fit.
at each of these failed jobs tho,
i learn something and take a new skill along with me.
that’s the added benefit for my resume.
other than that,
these are just “bartending jobs” for me as i pursue my dreams.

lowkey: things are often reasons,
seasons,
and lifetimes.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

9 thoughts on “i can’t hold down a job”

  1. Keep your head up. Know your worth and realize that there probably are bigger things your are headed for. While working at this job be out there looking for the next one.

  2. Long ass post alert…it’s Saturday..bare with me..🤷‍♂️

    Hmm. So I plan on moving to Orlando later this year and O wanted to transfer to another job in that area. I don’t think I would take any job that’s less than $15 an hour since I feel like that’s the minimum to live comfortably in an apartment in Orlando.

    While, thinking about this, I asked the Universe to help me make a decision (without relying on my own wit of course) but got nothing. I’ve been at my current job for two years. I remember wanting more money and I got a raise a few months ago but I still feel outof place…lIke I want to go somewhere else and Florida is it..Orlando.

    Over the course of the past several weeks I decided to take Lyft (so damn convenient) and at least three of my driver’s have mentioned living in Orlando orohave family and the opportunity it has & all that and they liked it.. Cool. Now that I’m aware of stuff as opposed to when I was much younger, I count these as clear signs the Universe is speaking to me.

    So two weeks ago I found out one of my coworkers leaves in May with his fiance. Guess where he’s going to? Orlando. 🙄 He actually took a few days off to go down there…came back and said he loved it, except the traffic.

    So often I get signs from Uni on the direction I need to take but sometimes I don’t pay attention or I brush it off. If I ask for the Uni to win some money and take out a lottery ticket and loose…I’m like..wtf. Uni..let me win. A few days later my job is giving OT all week long and of course I don’t sign up cause I want to come home and eat and fiddling on my laptop.

    Sometimes it pays to be specific with the Universe. Some things we get in hours, other weeks, even years…Whenever it feels like it’s the best time for you to receive it with no complications in your life.

    Maybe you should expand your horizons and look in a different career field? Real estate I hear is profitable (That’s what my coworker wants to do in Orlando 🙄). I think someone in the foxhole mentioned it before too but Keep your eyes open and don’t forget to be actively hustling and searching as well proactively.

    Do you use your full potential when you ask or search for things? Do you doubt yourself in anyway sometimes? Don’t answer that publicly cause it’s none of my business but it was something I did in my own case.

    Honestly, I don’t know how anyone would even doubt the Universe…in doing so you doubt yourself.

    If the comment the Foxholer said about you stung at that time, you must believed it deep down somewhere. That belief is also considered a blocker. You probably don’t feel this way anymore but slat the time deep down you might have felt inadequate, used and unworthy of certain things.

    I would never let anyone here or on the internet anywhere else (even in person) get to me cause they don’t know me, they perceive or assume but I know me better than anyone else so other folks comments are like dust to me if they are shady or negative.

    But you know even through all your problems (which we all have)… At least you still have yourself and your sanity. Long as you keep that in mind, you can keep striving for better.

    1. ^ive not been using the universe to my full potential.
      personally,
      i think when you suffer from depression,
      it causes you to question if things are working.
      you have to be fully open to believing.
      that is my issue.
      it’s like i’m a good manifester,
      but certain things create a blockage.

      i want to learn how to manifest even while battling depression.
      it’s probably not gonna work tho.

      1. Though I can’t make you see signs, I’m pretty sure if someone else is sending good vibes your way to keep your eyes open, you’ll see if you pay attention.

        Also, stop sending out confusing manifestations. Example in your paragraph:

        “it’s like i’m a good manifester”

        And then you go on to say:

        “i want to learn how to manifest even while battling depression.
        it’s probably not gonna work tho.”

        So you basically just built up a positive wall & then later smashed it to pieces. Be careful of your word usage.

        Change “I want” to “I am”.

        “I want” & “probably not” are negative and completely contradict your manifesting ability. While you expressed you are good at manifesting, you came back and assume otherwise which means you have doubts

        That last sentence should be “I am able to manifest and it will work.”

        You have to believe in what you say for it to work. Even when times are hard you have to be positive because more often than not, those hard times are trying to get you to stop and pay attention to something. Something isn’t right somewhere and needs to be fixed. But even when you’re down, hold your head up & remember that you were better off than [insert number here] years ago. Think about how much you have progressed.

        Remember, the boomerang effect… You attract what you believe. Saying it is one thing, believing what you’re saying is another. You put your heart into your words, who can break you? Nobody but yourself.

  3. Hey Jamari, maybe you could try finding positions outside of the temp agency or working in a different sector. You could even go back to school to learn a new skill or trade. NY has the Excelsior program where they pay your tuition for free. You can attend a community college or university. The more skills you have the better your opportunity to gain a good paying job. Maybe you could talk to a career counselor to help you find different jobs that your skills are needed in.

  4. I’m glad you took my comment and wrote about it. It wasn’t shady but a lot of times as black men we tend to subconsciously look for a hand out. We also tend to self sabotage our opportunities or not live up to our fullest potential for fear of failing. After years of reading this blog I believe as well as many of your readers that you are exhibiting patterns that you yourself my not even be aware of. I want to my comment to be nothing more than a chance for you to reflect and actually make a plan for moving forward. I think that if you just create small monthly goals for yourself that at the end of six months you’ll be a surprise that the growth you would have obtained. I’m rooting for you. I want you to root for yourself

  5. I came home from college in 2014. Couldnt find work so i did temp assignments. For almost 3yrs i did multiple temp assignments sometimes two jobs to keep a roof. I lived in a room in a boarding house with strangers ate in soup kitchens and etc. Your journey is more common than you think. There have been articles about it. Most places do temp assignments to save money and to not hire longtime and if folks dont know the temp world they wont understand. Things are just starting to balance out for me. It takes time to find your niche and to get stability.. Dont worry get your brand out there even more and grind your breakthrough is coming. stay in the game dont throw in the towel im telling you from experience even being homeless at one point. It gets greater later and i do Resumes. I was an HR Coordinator before so let me know Jamari.

If you wouldn't say it on live TV with all your family and friends watching, without getting canceled or locked up, don't say it on here. Stay on topic, no SPAM, and keep it respectful. Thanks!

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