I Can’t Believe You Said That About Me!

thrown_tomato_picain’t it funny…
how you can be respected and admired by so many people,
but you care when that one or two irrelevants don’t like you?
why is that?
why does everything positive about us go down the toilet when an asshole spits shit?
its like celebs who will only respond to negativity.
why do some of us hold what people think about us to such a high standard?…

i don’t really care what people think of me.
that isn’t an aggressive statement.
its meant to be.
some things people say do hurt my feelings.
my insides are not a freezer.
in my growing up awkward teen phase,
i cared way too much what people thought.
i wouldn’t express myself due to people thinking i was gay.
i tried to fit in with the “straight wolves”,
but crazy enough,
i still stood out from everyone else.
i wasn’t fuckin’ a ton of bitches.
i wasn’t playin’ ball.
sure i played video games and watched sports,
but i wasn’t doing what the “boys” did.
as much as you think you are “fitting in”,
you are different and people can tell.
no offense.

tumblr_mblgoh1GSP1qbcb48o1_500these days,
i don’t have the energy to obsess what people think of me negatively.
i got a foxhole to run and success to achieve.
hell i went to work in some lime green socks last week.
my pants cuffs were tucked in so they stood out even more.
i saw some of the hood wolves look at me crazy.
liar liar was as well.
ask me where was my fucks?
it wasn’t until one of the big VPs said to me the next day:

“i really liked what you had on yesterday.
those socks were bright.
it takes someone with real guts and a sense of fashion to attempt that.
you have that.”

i didn’t even know he saw me.
hell i didn’t even see him.
so while the rest were lookin’ at me weird,
a top VP in the fashion industry had me in his radar.
hell while liar liar is lowkey trying to hoe with work wolf,
he is busy up in my face with the compliments.
all she is getting is nut on the face.
who is winning these rounds over and over?
no need to take offense with small people’s opinions.

here is how i want you to approach criticism via the foxhole way:

whether someone says something about you,
positive or negative,
there is a message in the mess.
people say things on this site about me all the time.
some shit can be out of pocket,
but i’m at the point in life where i can receive constructive criticism.
you see the responses i get about work wolf.
i don’t cry or curl up in a ball.
i’m a man who takes pipe.
i think i can take a few harsh words that could potentially get me right.

also pay attention to:

short term results
long term results

you could go off on someone who offends you.
i have before and it did nothing.
if you know you have your shit together for the long term,
why would you waste your time defending short term attention?
people will always have something to say.
people who ain’t got shit or life worse off than you will always throw tomatoes.
it will be hateful,
said with the wrong intentions,

or stem from jealousy and envy.
you can tell when its mean.
just plain ol mean!
when someone actually takes the time to give you tough love,
you know its coming from a genuine place.
its said to inspire you.
the tough love doesn’t come with an umbrella.
you won’t have to wonder if they were coming at you on the sneak.
it will make you a better human being.

so stop being so fuckin’ sensitive.
even “haters”,
a word i actually hate,
can help improve your life when you dissect the message.

tumblr_nm19kkoTDe1ql5yr7o1_500so just listen and decided what is right or you.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

15 thoughts on “I Can’t Believe You Said That About Me!”

  1. This is the truth. I never worry about the opinion of one or even a few. Now if it’s many people, I’ll worry on the low lol.

  2. Amen. I always say everyone has an opinion, but it’s up to you to determine if the opinion is worth caring about.

  3. This KoKo GIF brought me straight out of lurker mode! love me some Khloe!
    How you doing lil bro? It’s been a minute.

    Like my mama always says: LET THEM TALK!!!

  4. I was always told if they’re not talking about you then you’re not doing it right lol. But that’s always been a problem I’ve had. I come across as reserved and distant but the little things people say always got to me. Even though I’ve gotten a lot stronger I still find it hard sometimes to deal with it.

    ps. jamari you’ve been speaking to my soul the last couple weeks with these entries. I waiting on you to write a book already!

  5. So true, I can be sensitive at times but I’m learning to take other people words with a grain of salt when I need to.

  6. Wow, that spoke to me again! LOL! I live that reality everyday, but honestly, I don’t bother worrying too much about what people think.
    I get stared at by black wolves all the time, and its really annoying. They know I’m different. I dress somewhat nice, but its not just that.
    I articulate myself in a way that they don’t seem to understand. Its not like I’m snobby or anything, but its just a result of their limited experiences of the world outside of what it means to be “black” as if there’s some written code we have to fall under.
    Its funny that they look at me weird because other people like the way I dress and present myself, and they’re looked at negatively because how they present themselves.
    Its not a case of white-washed, or “uncle tom” because I don’t get those kind of comments either, or a superiority complex, or anything, they know I’m not a sell out or anything, but its like you said Jamari, I’m not the guy that “plays ball”, I’m the guy who draws, reads, and writes. I’m artistic, watch anime, play video games, I like big ideas, not small talk (who I’m/you’re {not}fucking, the weather, random shit) so I like deep discussion, debates, philosophy, profound thinking etc.
    I’m just different from the norm, and oh yeah, I love men, and they dont like that, so believe me, I’m used to the scrutiny. I’m not flamboyant or anything, but I’m not hypermasculine anyway, but I spend much of my time challenging our ideas of masculinity/femininity all the time, so I’m accustomed to it lol.

    I must be real though, I still have weak moments where I question what I’m going to wear many moments because I don’t want to “deal” with the looks and stares without straight up shutting that situation down lol.
    Most days I do what I want, but I often find myself in that predicament thinking: “ugh, I don’t feel like being bold today, I just want to get through my day” I need to stop that.

    I commend you for your boldness with your socks. That look wouldn’t work for me but I’ll try to stop even worrying about other people at all.
    I’m just about ready.

    1. We need to redefine masculinity/femininity, especially the black straight wolves.
      There isn’t one mold of straight guy like there isnt one mold of gay guy.
      No demographic is monolithic.
      It amazes me how simplistic some people’s minds are…just because its “different” they’re going to ostracize it?
      Simpletons… A bunch of men and women with the “Steve Harvey mentality afflcition” Poor unenlightened souls. I guess if we worry about what they think, it would make us just as simple eh?
      If we’re more advanced than they are, than we need to keep it moving or they will slow us down like an anchor! We see more than they do!
      Jamari, your style game must be top notch! I can never pull off the “rolled up pants” look without looking stupid LOL!

If you wouldn't say it on live TV with all your family and friends watching, without getting canceled or locked up, don't say it on here. Stay on topic, no SPAM, and keep it respectful. Thanks!

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