How To Have Premium Pussy (Without The Pussy)

I want a 2012 SLK55 AMG Mercedes Roadster.

I also want a Lincoln Navigator.
Dreams…

What do both of those vehicles have in common?
Well they are the perfect car for Baller Wolves and Foxes.
But, they also need Premium gas to keep them on the road.
They also need the right up keep in order to have them working and looking good.

As a Fox, this is how you need to be.
PREMIUM.
There is regular and PREMIUM.
You should be a Wolf’s PREMIUM; never his regular.

In this dating world, you need to have a certain swagga to separate yourself from the rest.
Sure, everyone else is fucking like jack rabbits…
but are they fucking the right Wolves… or are they just fucking to let off a nut?
And, are they ultimately going to be fucked out in a couple years?

Foxes will always be different than Wolves.
We get stuck; they do the sticking.
So that leaves you with two options.
Be alone or be a ho.
It is two simple paths in which we have to take in order to meet Wolves.
Unfortunately for a lot of us, we get so fucked that we end up FUCKED.
Nothing worse than a Wolf sticking his pipe in human Jello.

So here are a few rules to have that Premium rather than regular….

  1. Your brand always needs to be expensive.
    Now, I’m not saying go out there and buy 500 dollar outfits.
    But, you should ALWAYS look put together and clean.
    Nothing brings faster swag than a nice outfit and clean kicks.
    You can even be simple and look good.
    Starting reading GQ to build your new “look”.

2. You should not be fucking every pipe that comes your way.
You should have a lot of pipe around you, but choose the ones who go in you carefully.
You should also always have 1 jump off that you can call when you need some dick.
So make sure you pick that jump off wisely and never get attached.
Relax, he is just for sex.

3. Don’t be a club head or be at “everything” all the time.
When your premium is everywhere,
the value goes down and you become regular.
Make yourself like a “celebrity” and only go places that will benefit you.
Every night at Club Dick Em Down is NOT whats up.
Even keep your online presence at a certain level.

4. When you fuck your Wolf, FUCK HIM STUPID!
When you meet a Wolf and you have established something more,
make sure you fuck his brains out every time.
Keep him satisfied and introduce things to him to keep him interested.
When it is time to put in work, then you need to be showing out on the dick.
Let him feel proud to know he finally got you in that bed and why he waited so long.

5. Don’t do what everyone else is doing.
Premium should be worked harder for.
It should not be like everyone else and it damn sure should not be the same.
Look at others and do the opposite.
What works for them should NOT be working for you.

6. Have dreams, goals, and aspirations.
Dream cars, houses, condos, and lifestyles should be on your mind.
When you meet Wolves, make sure they are meeting your qualifications.
Many times we meet Wolves who we fall in fuck with.
We never think, “so where is this fool going with his life?“.

7. Let your Wolf know you have his back.
Whatever dreams he may have, support his ass.
Support doesn’t mean spend your money to supply his lifestyle.
It means that when he is down, you pick him up.
You are both a team.

8. Realize that some Wolves are all talk and some are legit.
This is where a ton of people get caught up.
You can tell someone who has nothing and is pretty much going nowhere.
The quiet Wolves who move in silence are the best Wolves to be with.
The ones who are flashy, brag, pictures online, and hoing themselves out – NOPE.

9. Learn to say “NO”.
A very important rule.
You will be more respected when you stand up for yourself.
A closed mouth doesn’t get fed.
If you have a problem with something, speak up and let your voice be heard.

10. Your business should never come back around back to you.
You need to test all the people around you to see if they are legit.
Having too many people around can be like grass hiding snakes.
When you are consider yourself Premium, then random people should not be able to gossip about you.
Your man, your money, and your movement is quiet.

… and there you have it.
Hope you learned something today cubs.

😉

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

69 thoughts on “How To Have Premium Pussy (Without The Pussy)”

  1. I’ll take the none hoe prize Alex lol. Good advise but u know these baby foxs gone do what the hell they want anyway

  2. Jamari, I feel I’m at the edge of being exclusive and being regular when dating dudes. For example I’m a high end dude with down to earth mentality. I dont like the labels or my status effect the blood to my brain. Yet my taste are very high end. Just about every dude I date now is a successful dudes who have nice ass jobs but I know that ‘I” need to have my own success because at the end of the road, Nerd need to be established. I am focused that pursuit to establish myself. I will graduate in about two years with my BA in Broadcast Journalism but I still feel behind like I need more, but idk what that more is..

    1. ^well what does your heart say?

      And you should always think you are exclusive!
      you seem to be dating great quality men who have their acts together.
      that is what you want.
      you do not need to be stressin over no ragga muffins!

    2. Nerd, grind now while you can. I don’t know what your program is at your school, but I will say being a black male you have to work twice as hard to make yourself known. Volunteer at local stations or get an internship and put that reel for what ever you’re trying to do. Plus the competition is a beast! I work in the career field you’re studying and I hate to say it but this business is about Jamari’s rule numero uno. Looks and appearance will get you far in the business. I know a reporter who got complimented by so many people before going live at the six o’clock because of his appearance. He’s not a pretty boy but there’s something about him that people like and find him approachable. Sorry for jumping in but I figure knowledge is power.

  3. Man what the fucking hell are you doing ???? You trying to make it hard out there for us exploitative tops??!!!! Don’t listen to the moderator he don’t know what he is talking about!!! Cause the only way to bag a top is to give up dat azz of the first date!!!!!! lol

  4. bestbook :
    Nerd, grind now while you can. I don’t know what your program is at your school, but I will say being a black male you have to work twice as hard to make yourself known. Volunteer at local stations or get an internship and put that reel for what ever you’re trying to do. Plus the competition is a beast! I work in the career field you’re studying and I hate to say it but this business is about Jamari’s rule numero uno. Looks and appearance will get you far in the business. I know a reporter who got complimented by so many people before going live at the six o’clock because of his appearance. He’s not a pretty boy but there’s something about him that people like and find him approachable. Sorry for jumping in but I figure knowledge is power.

    I agreed and disagree with you being someone who also work in the industry, yeah looks and appearance will open some doors in the industry, however the entertainment industry has a plethora of attractive people. In most cases being attractive will get you fucked a lot quicker lol. You are right that being an African American you have to work twice as hard to get have success in almost every industry, and tell me how many black pretty boys are getting a lot of work in the industry? It is mostly the so so looking brothers who are domination the film and television industry; Denzel, Samuel L, Morgan Freeman, Anthony Mackie, 50 cent AkA Curtis Jackson. The only way appearance helps you in the industry is if you are able to project the appearance of success like the moderator said driving the right car, wearing the right clothes, and having a big dick lol. Well not the bick dick so much but I wanted to put it in there!!!

    1. True, but to already have two strikes against you, one you’re black male. Two you’re a black male who skin tone is darker than the “news industry standard.” I’ve seen it done that dark skinned males have made it but they have something about em as well as Jamari’s numero uno that makes them pop.

  5. Bruh as side from perhaps the news industry and soaps light skinned brothers are not the first choice of hollywood. Tell me a successful constant casting light skilled black man in Hollywood?

    1. I dont know anything about hollywood blaq. that’s your area. I was just saying in local tv news, in my experience i’ve seen darker skinned black males move up higher in ranks. that’s all.

  6. Yeah I bruh lol if you read my original post I said when it comes to broadcast news you are correct lite skinned brothers and sisters do seem to be the pick of the news litter lol

  7. This is nice and all but…

    Where are the quality wolves to be the premium towards? Sure, i can spend my time looking good, being successful, high standards, not promiscuous and so forth. Walk around head high and friends few but im not so sure this will attract what I’m looking for? Not without me having to advertise myself on social media/ dating sites or figuring out where the quality men are to even approach (which I’ll probably have to do since most sit quietly and stare) or be approached by. There’s the assumption that if you go about your business, it will come and find you. I still don’t believe that rings true for us… not from my experience or the experiences I’ve observed from others.

      1. I think dating sites are so popular within this culture for a reason. Not necessarily only to find easy sex but i think it’s because outside of keyboards and web browsers, we aren’t really communicating. We go about our days essentially waiting to get bumped into or strike up random conversation. Stand next to him and hope he notices you or use your layer vision to pierce into his soul and pull out an invitation to say hello. If looking your best was enough this this dating thing would be a lot easier for us. I think we must look at the reasons why club heads exists in such large quanitites, why there’s such desperation on social media to get the attention of attention whores, why we feel the need to post half-naked pictures of ourselves on social media, why we’re entertaining the types of wolves who do not deserve our time in such large amounts.

  8. UrSoVain :
    This is nice and all but…
    Where are the quality wolves to be the premium towards? Sure, i can spend my time looking good, being successful, high standards, not promiscuous and so forth. Walk around head high and friends few but im not so sure this will attract what I’m looking for? Not without me having to advertise myself on social media/ dating sites or figuring out where the quality men are to even approach (which I’ll probably have to do since most sit quietly and stare) or be approached by. There’s the assumption that if you go about your business, it will come and find you. I still don’t believe that rings true for us… not from my experience or the experiences I’ve observed from others.

    I think that the quality tops are out there like the quality bottoms are out there, however I most cases it is hard to find them because they have been burned by poor quality tops or bottoms. It like finding a good black woman or man it they are usually shell shocked because of psycho black men and women.

    1. ^good point.

      So how do you stop from thinking all Wolves are the same,
      When 95% have the same mind set and the other % are quality?
      It is hard to decipher who is quality and who will just be your black book quantity.

  9. #whoisjamarifox :
    ^good point.
    So how do you stop from thinking all Wolves are the same,
    When 95% have the same mind set and the other % are quality?
    It is hard to decipher who is quality and who will just be your black book quantity.

    Like with everything else relationship wise it has to do with having maturity ,and redefining your hunting grounds. I may have to do a guest post of how to find quality tops.

    1. If what you’re saying is correct, does this mean that due to the poor quality they’ve been ‘burned’ by they’ve gone into hiding? Or have they went from being of quality to now the types that just wanna have a casual situation with no strings attached?

      Because if its the former then they’re really good at being off the radar. Like so far off that its almost to the point where they have become an endangered species. But if its the latter than they are no longer in the “quality” category because their behavior is now of the types whom one should avoid. And it isn’t my job to keep throwing my love and support down your throat to try and change your mind and turn into who you could or used to be.

      1. ^I personally think everyone in this lifestyle feels burned in some way, shape, or form.
        Wolves, Foxes, and Hybrids…
        Even the Jackals and Hyenas.

        Everyone has something that has happened to them that has made them the way they are now.

        The str8s don’t have to deal with to much because their job is to breed.
        And judging from all these bastard kids in the hood,
        They breedin with whomever.

        Our lifestyle,
        However,
        Requires more effort than it should.

  10. Yeah, everyone has experienced deception and heartbreak at some point. But for us, there’s other factors as well that are keeping us from making connections. Internalized homophobia being one of the main ones. This separates us from the experiences of the breeders. I was explaining to my fysh friend that our two experiences dating men are NOT nearly the same. Finding someone for us takes a lot more effort and it doesn’t happen at the same frequency it does for her and her kind. At least not without the use of the internet, photoshop, a bathroom mirror and buzz words and phrases like “Casual/ Not looking for anything serious”, “Down for whatever”, “Discreet or DL” attached to your person.

    Must I continue to search for the proverbial “Golden Ticket” that will allow me access into the secret society of quality, goal oriented, put together, commitment oriented tops that are in such short supply? Or are these quality men who are moderately attractive, wanting to commit, stable in most areas of their lives, and INTERESTED IN ME standing in direct view, arms waving, and I’m not seeing them?

    1. Vain my question to you is who fucked you up so much because man based upon your all you responses that I have read on this fucking blog you seem to be a very negative and bitter brother. I rarely find hope or objectively i any of your post you seem to make Debbie Downer look like fucking Mother Teressa damn bruh get some dick or something lol

  11. No lol I think that it is a matter of opinion and how a person has been orientated to the life style. My experience with gay brothers who have been down forever and who entered the life say between the ages of 14-18 are much more jaded than gay brothers who have enter the life style at a much later age say between the ages 25-30 are usually are not as jaded as their younger counter parts. The reason being and this is just a subjective hypothesis, but a kat who entered the life style between the ages of 14-18 are mostly bottoms who were turned out by older top dudes. They are orientated to the life style by sucking dicks, or getting topped like crazy with very little appreciation. They are usually either very closeted in middle school or in high school that is if they can stay in the closet because many of them are very effeminate. Their day to day living is filled with shame and self loathing often having to love the other so called str8 boys from a distance. Once they graduate high school many of them never learn relational coping skills than say the str8 brothers who had girlfriends, and by time they graduate and they leave high school they enter into the club scene and the social network scene where they attempt to find validating relationships however mostly due to the nature of those venues they usually find themselves whoring around never finding the happiness the validation from a top that they wanted.

    The same with is almost true of tops who start messing around at a younger age in most cases they were sexually abused by a older family member or by an other friend. They still defined themselves as str8 but they are usually very conflicted about having sex with other men. They will usually sleep with a friend or an acquaintance but will try to distance themselves from them as soon as they bust a nut. These brothers will rationalize that they are str8 because they are doing the sticking and not getting stuck, and they will often shift the blame of being down to the bottoms they are fucking and often calling them names like faggot, or you like this gay shit don’t ya? These tops tend to get more validation because they can blend into the str8 crowd they are the captains of the football, and basketball teams, they are the members of ROTC they are section leaders in the band or even the Drum Major. These guys date the prettiest girl and in most cases can be the biggest homophobes on campus. I think that they are more unstable emotionally than the bottoms are because if their inner sexual conflict. They may spend long periods of not having sex with men thinking that they are cured of their gayness. These guys will go to college and get into the mix with their roommate, and they will be the DL ballers, and Frat members on campus. They are the ones who will be checking you out while they are hanging out with their boys and with their girlfriends.

    They will try to draw a closeted bottom roommate but walking around in their underwear sporting huge erections, or they will always find someway to be naked in front of you like always coming out of the shower nude as you enter into the room, or disrobing in front of you before they go into the shower etc. In many cases these guys will find some balance with their sexuality by coming to terms that they like men and that they will fuck men on the side but never really wanting to be in a relationship with them because they still want the social acceptance of being perceived as being str8. These guys are the kats that you will meet online who are married, or in relationship with women who will not be emotionally or physcially available for you. These guys become the kats who the bottoms program him that his shit doesn’t stink So Vain which one are you?

  12. #whoisjamarifox :
    And I have also thought mentally,
    Wolves had it a lot worst than Foxes.
    Makes for an entry next week so I’ll keep my opinion to myself until then.

    Yeah sure run away run away lol

  13. Killablaq :
    Vain my question to you is who fucked you up so much because man based upon your all you responses that I have read on this fucking blog you seem to be a very negative and bitter brother. I rarely find hope or objectively i any of your post you seem to make Debbie Downer look like fucking Mother Teressa damn bruh get some dick or something lol

    Nope, Debbie Downer here. This is real talk which I’m sure you are familiar. I’m actually pretty positive in real life but I don’t sugar coat things or say what people want to hear. Very negative and bitter? ‘Hope’ in the form of “I will find him one day” does not address the big issues like that are plaguing those of us in this lifestyle. We seem to gloss over it with a very wide “If Its Meant to Be” brush instead of stopping and asking “What’s really going on? Why is dating so difficult?” There are plenty of us who are on social media practically whoring ourselves around in search of love and/or companionship. Why is that? Why does one feel as though they must project a certain image other then who they are to even get noticed? Why are we logging on to sites that have continuously brought us nothing but disappointments and yet refuse to delete these accounts because they feel as though the moment they do they’ll miss out on a once in a lifetime opportunity? There is something wrong and instead of ignoring it and hoping that things will be different for us, i think its important that we address them head on and works towards making that part of life a bit easier.

    I’ve had many conversations with fox after hybrid who are all experiencing the same things. MY point of view is a culmination of their experiences as well as my own. It may not be that way for you but you’re point of view is something totally different. You’ll notice in your long response to me that the tops you described are the very ones who make it difficult for the rest of us. The faggot hating, girlfriend having, social acceptance seeking, emotionally unavailable types who will hit you up when the sun goes down asking for quick sex. I’m almost everyone one of us can say they’ve experienced that at one point or another. Who in the world wants to deal with that for the rest of their lives? Is it asking for too much to have someone who is comfortable within their sexuality and emotionally available who’s looking fora commitment relationship without feeling as though you have to date one of your fox-friends to get it? There is a conversation that needs to be had and I’m not one to say what we’re experiencing as individuals is irrelevant if we are all having same exact problems. I’m sure when people read my responses they’re head-nodding in agreement even if they don’t say anything.

    So which one am i? Please click on my username underneath my avatar and read through over two years worth of entries to find out.

  14. I see well I have read your blog and I this is the reason why I chose to respond to your last post the way I did. The whole point of discussion issues and processing thoughts and experiences is so that the individual or the group can develop new and effective ways or coping or changing their circumstances. The very process of science and engineering is based on the premise of finding out through experimentation more of what don’t work and making corrections to it so that it can work, or building on what does work. The end result is almost always building upon and learning from failures to develop more positive outcomes. Rarely do I read any proposals from you designed to produce better outcomes. Like I told you before you are that yeah but brother who not matter what positive proposals a person makes you are going to say yeah but. It is almost like you are holding on to your negative reality because it is much safer to do so than to continue to strive for positive outcomes.

    1. We cannot reach positive outcomes without understanding the problem first. Its like saying the soltuion to the aids epidemic amongst gay black men is condoms. That completely missed the REASONS behind risky sexual behavior and what contributions that plays in risky sexual behavior. I’m trying to bring light and form concepts around them so they they are better understood. You must do research first before starting any experiment, you know that. I’m in the research phase. Lets talk about the problem instead throwing knifes in the dark hoping to hit something. Lets have a clear view of things that can be done and then go from there. So with this entry in particular… yes… you can look your best and have money and a point of view and keep your legs clothes… but if wolves are talkin’ bout they’re not even checking for any of that or what you’re looking for comes around as often as Haley’s comet… then we must discuss that first.

      I barely understand a wolf’s point of view so you’ll notice i will ask question after question to get a better understanding which tends to turn an entry from 10 comments… to 70 comments… and we leave with a clearer point of view. One prime example is the wolf meat entry where the foxes were like “wow, hes cute” and the wolves were like “eeehhh…” Then through my persistent questioning we discovered oh… wolves prefer more feminine facial features when choosing partners. It was a surprise to almost everyone involved in that discussion. In this particular entry, maybe I’m a few steps ahead because these are all things being done by people i know who CONTINUE to not meet “quality” wolves. There is a disconnect somewhere and I believe its whats keeping our two groups of getting together.And I’m not sure you’ve read through my blog completely? Every other entry is a comment on ways in which one improve their ideas about love and dating.

  15. Again with the “yeah buts” lol; I don’t see why you cannot see that trait in yourself is amazing. Well according to the CDC and most research on Aids /HIV transmission in the African American community has less to with the lack of condom use and more about the attitudes towards sex and sexuality that leads to the failure to use condoms in casual sexual encounters. Currently there is an epidemic of newly reported HIV infection and STD infection rates among young African America (males ages 16- 25 is a rough estimated because I don’t have time to pull up the actual CDC stats)in the major hubs like LA, CHI, Miami, DET, and Atl more specifically in NYC. The primary reason for the increases in HIV and STD infection rates in this demographic is because of their attitudes “that if they only have sex with masculine tops who they perceive to never had been penetrated they will be HIV – and therefore this is no reason for them to use condoms.” The reality is that they are sleeping with masculine HIV Tops who are infecting them and the tops who are infecting them have the same attitudes towards them being tops that they never think that they could be HIV positive and thus they never get tested.

    Look bruh I have a master degree and I work in a field that requires the application and the understanding of quantitative analysis, and because of my social and professional status; I am always interacting with people from similar professions with quantitatively based degrees. I have a friend who works in AIDS research for National Institutes of Health who is gay and who is also on the font line on the battle against AIDS, I have friends who work in research at John Hopkins Hospital, at UCLA Medical Center, for the CDC, and at Children’s Hospital in Cincinnati, Ohio. I went to college on full academic scholarships. Although I may cuss and carry on in this forum I am not stupid. So I can say with ultimate conviction that I know more about scientific research and methodology that you currently or may ever know. I say all of this to say that it is a person’s attitudes that impact on his/her ability to make wise, safe, and healthy choices in life. You seem to throw out a lot of intellectual data on people yet you tend to fail to make a positive and objective points with them. However most of the points I make on this site; I can provide references to research and data to back up what I am saying. You tend to give a lot of good sounding opinions but you always seem to never be able to provide concrete information or references to back up your opinions and to give them objective credibility. You tend to use a lot of negative descriptions to describe people in your circles like fish when referring to women, and she (when making a reference to other men) , breeders I guess which is a descriptive them referring to str8 people, and for these reasons I question your objectivity. Usually when I clown someone in this forum, I am attempting to reorient them to reality and challenge them to look at their possible faulty thinking that may be skewing their perceptions of the world and possibly leading them to making decisions that will always result in a negative emotional out come. I am challenging you to do the same thing.

    1. You’re resume is cute but I’m not really concerned about your schooling or where you’re friends went to school (or how they’re schooling and professional work somehow adds to your own intelligence?). I went to school, performed research, presented information, was challenged by my department and so and so forth as well. Its nice to see more black men getting degrees. You further proved my point on the HIV information. For sometime they believed the lack of condom usage as well as lack of knowledge about STDs and how they are contracted was the reason for the spread of HIV. Remember, what you just spit out about men believe that sleeping with masculine tops who have never been penetrated make you less likely to contract the virus is BRAND NEW research findings. This was not known 2 or 3 years ago. So people were throwing knifes in the dark (giving out condoms) without actually understand the REASONS BEHIND risky sexual behavior. So to assume that all it takes is looking good and not being a slut as the keys to getting quality is still not addressing the fact that those who do not look good and are whores as well are getting the same result. And for those who are doing those things listed above and STILL not meeting quality men, there is something missing as well. But for me, I’d like to further understand WHERE to find quality to begin with because it is not in large supply and why is that even in doing these things listed doesn’t guaranteeing you the desired result? Why, if finding a quality is that simple, have we become so dependent on dating sites and displaying ourselves provocatively on social media? There are questions that we are not answering.

      Now, since there is very little to no research done on the dating life of black homosexual men, I’m not really sure where you think anyone can provide research to back up anyone’s statement on that topic? Everything is anecdotal. There is no “objective credibility”. It’s all from one’s own experience. There is no objectivity at all. Not even in any of your statements. Help me understand how you expect anyone, including myself, to provide you with links and references? And how exactly are they not positive? Give me specific examples of that please.

      Addressing my use of what you call “negative descriptions”, lets go through them one by one. So “fysh” is the term used to describe those of the XX-chromosome variety. It isn’t negative but its based of the silly notion that vagina smells like “fysh.” Its no different than people using the term “chicks” or “dames” to describe women during the time that those were in mainstream society’s vocab. Its simply a term used within the black gay community. “Breeder” falls in that same category as well. It isn’t derogatory since there is no negative history behind the term and is simply used as a general term to describe those of the heterosexual variety. Now, where things get interesting is when saying the term “she” when referring to a man is somehow derogatory. In the context that I use it, which I’ve explained countless times over and over, it has more to do with the alpha and beta or top and bottom roles within out lifestyle. She refers to those of us on the beta side specifically in the way that I use it. For other homosexuals who use the term, that varies but it often referring to another homosexual. But the thing is, typically those who view women as “less than” tend to take offense to \being called a “she.” One must ask themselves whats so bad about being called a woman anyway? Is it because they hold onto the notion that women are weak and there for being called one mean you are weak? That’s very misogynistic thinking.

      My point of view is my point of view and is based off of my own experience. It may not coincide with what you believe is positive or negative and that’s okay. This idea that you’re way of thinking is somehow the correct way is troubling though. I don’t know if you know this but there are huge differences in the experiences of foxes and wolves. We do not experience life in the same way. And as a result of that, our perspective will be different and often times clash in the same way heterosexual males and females do. I challenge you to instead of wanting things to be seen from your own point of view, you take the time out to understand the other side. One, i assume, you do not know much about. Remember you’re advice tends to be “you need to just give up the ass, ask no questions, and go along with whatever the top says and does” and that isn’t the best way to find love, commitment, or even a healthy relationship. Something most of us are looking for…

      1. Nice try but trust me bruh I am not committing the fallacy of attacking your person because I cannot find fault with your argument. I find plenty with your arguments and I have listed them in our discussion. I said that you are lost based on my assessment that you have a very myopic and pessimistic view on life in general especially when it comes to being down. My theory is primarily that your ego will not allow you to see or to admit to any possible flaw in your thinking process. lol

  16. I don’t think anyone is ever going to solve this problem.

    I’ve said it time and time again though, if you’re out then you should not be messing with someone who isn’t. If you want a relationship you should not waste time on someone who doesn’t want one.

    All you’re doing is setting yourself up to become even more jaded.

    Some dudes have to let go of the D.L. dude who’s going to magically fall for me and treat me right or the trifling dude who’s going to treat me right one day idea you have in your head.

    How it begins is definitely how it will end. All of the shit you let slide will come back to bite you in the ass.

    A dudes have patterns, you just have to be sharp enough to catch them early on.

  17. Also you have to keep in mind our culture as black men. Most of us were taught to internalize everything, so a lot of us are not going to be very approachable and forthcoming, especially not in matters of an unpopular sexuality.

    I don’t see masculine, black, gay dudes openly showing affection or talking about their sexuality. I’m sure they think they’re masculine, but they don’t look masculine to me.

    We can get into clocking methods, but the fact is if a dude I deduced to be gay actually approached me I go into defense mode because I don’t know him or his intentions. I’m not saying I would give him the cold shoulder, but I definitely won’t be doing anything to make the encounter easy on his part…even if he is attractive.

    Shit, I don’t think some of them can hide their sexuality if they wanted to.

  18. Agree bruh and it is usually the dudes that want to hide their sexuality but can’t are the main one starting a lot of the gay pettiness shit.

  19. This post makes me sad. Anyone following this advice is well on his way to being “someone he used to fuck”. If showing him you have his back is #7 on your list, you DONT have his back and he will keep looking for someone who does. You can only be the “fuck his brains out, fine as hell, meat of the moment” for a little while but you can be the “got his back no matter what, cute, respectable in public, love of his life” forever. Homosexuality is so transgressive to begin with that limiting yourself to a parody of heterosexual arrangements seems silly. Find a man you trust and respect, commit to him and set the parameters within which you both occaisionally go pull some strange. Then, go back home with and to each other.

    1. ^the list wasn’t in order Kamal.
      It was simply a way to show how you should operate in trying to be taken seriously.
      You do not want to be someone he use to fuck.
      Rather the list shows that if you are strong, have a mind for yourself, and know what you want in life – you will always be okay.

      It also let’s us as the submissive party know that no man should come first,
      We will always be put together,
      And our dreams and goals are in order.

      Going after you want and not settling for less than what you deserve especially in this lifestyle.

      1. With respect,Jamari, the list was numbered, not bulleted. You cant blame me for assuming that the order was intentional.
        More importantly, Im just a “wolf” who is offering a different perspective. The “foxes” I know who are in the kind of relationship you seem to want are not the cutest, the most fashionable or the best put together. Instead, they are the ones who are best at 1.) choosing the right wolf and 2).making their wolves feel like “it’s you and me against the world”. Those are the foxes with the premium goodies. They know that no matter who you are, there is a 22 year old who is twice as fine and half as demanding. They practice saying “we” more than “I”. I submit that these qualities are FAR more important than how well you throw it back on him. That is unless the goal is to be his plaything for a few weeks.

        1. ^my apologies for not using bullets.
          I will next time.

          But everything you said is what I was saying.
          You used it in different words than I did.
          But instead of being just regular,
          Why don’t you dress nice and take care of yourself in the process?

          I don’t want my Foxes out here to just be “ok”.
          I want them to be more.
          I want them to be elevated and on a higher plateau.

          Instead of asking your Wolf to go to Applebees for dinner,
          Why not go to another restaurant with dim lighting is in a quiet part of town?
          Instead of going to a hotel downtown,
          Why don’t you look for a new state to explore.

          That is what I mean by being PREMIUM.
          You are not just being like regular folks.
          You are showing your Wolf and yourself a new way to live and grow…

          … With some damn good sex inbetween.

  20. Killablaq :
    Nice try but trust me bruh I am not committing the fallacy of attacking your person because I cannot find fault with your argument. I find plenty with your arguments and I have listed them in our discussion. I said that you are lost based on my assessment that you have a very myopic and pessimistic view on life in general especially when it comes to being down. My theory is primarily that your ego will not allow you to see or to admit to any possible flaw in your thinking process. lol

    \

    No, instead of saying you’re argument is “lost” and backing up why with facts, you said “you are lost.” THAT is an ad hominem because you attacked my character not my arguement.

    What you see as a “flaw” is completely based on your own point of view and mine not coinciding with it. “Lost” and “myopic” are two separate things. MY theory is that you do not see beyond your own point of view. You haven’t pointed out any flaws (which would indicate a right or wrong), you’ve simply made judgement about them through the use of the word “negative.” Something that is entirely subjective.

    When you can point the alternatives what I’ve said thus far like… there are plenty of commitment oriented, emotionally available, attractive, well-adjusted black gay men out in the open for the choosing and that not sleeping around, having a nice dress code, and only going to clubs a few times a month are the keys to finding quality, then you can say there is a flaw. But so far… I havent read that.

  21. Bruh I don’t know what part of fucking I am done with your azz don’t you understand. You are just proving my point how some bottom brothers are so negative in their interactions with tops that they totally shut them down and turn them off to them completely and then they turn around and say “see I told you that there are no good tops around” . Bruh if you want to live everyday in a self forefilling prophecy then go for it. You are really not that smart bruh or enlighten for me to invest anymore time in carrying on any type of ongoing debate with you. So just SHUT THE FUCK UP lol!!! Damn how about that for a fucking ad hominem? lol I have had interactions with almost everybody on this site and we don’t always see things eye to eye ,however we establish a mutual respect for each others opinion. You are the only fucking person who fails to see anything else but their own perspective as being valid.

    1. But thats the thing though, you never addressed my question. Lets go back

      I asked in the beginning: “Where are the ‘quality’ wolves to be premium towards?” That one never got an answer straight answer. Simply that they exist but they’re hard to find. (But, where are they?) Then i asked. Due to them being burned as the reason that they are hard to find… does that mean they are hiding? Or does it mean that the ones who were quality have now turned into the types who are all about casual sex as a result of being burned? Based on my experience it doesn’t seem as though its as easy as dressing up and not being a whore that’s enough to find quality. That from what myself and other people have experienced, it seems as though the way to get their attention at all is to advertise yourself provocatively on dating sites and social media. Why does that behavior exist and is so prevalent? You never answered.

      And from there you went on this whole triad about me and my “negative” point of view and how educated you are about the scientific method without ever giving a straight forward answer to the initial questions. I never attacked you as a person in the same way you are to me. I disagree about you’re views of my point of view but i was disrespectful to you. Even if you think so….

  22. Bruh the answer is simple we breath air everyday just because we don’t see air doesn’t mean that it isn’t there . Using the experiment process as a guideline you cannot disprove scientifically that that quality tops don’t exist. Not everyone who is in the lifestyle is wired into gay clubs, gay social and hook up networks, some may have quit dealing with men altogether due to the constant drama and headaches they experience in relationships with insecure bottoms, or perhaps they quit dating black men. At the end of the day who fucking knows but they are out there nor are they hiding.

    1. Okay, that’s what happened.

      You’re assuming with my question: “Where are they?” that I’m saying that they do not exist. THAT IS NOT what I’m saying at all. I’m sure they exist. They have to. Not saying that they do not. But WHERE. ARE. THEY? If they ARE NOT within the gay social scene like clubs or websites… where else can they be located? Amongst the straight people? To themselves? In their own networks separate from everything else? If one simply has to be cute and confident, they must do so in places where they will be approached or have to approach quality men, right? These are my questions.

      If you don’t know the answers, you can say so. That’s fine. But don’t attack me or my point of view. The fact that there is not a prominent presence does not lend itself to any hopes of finding them anytime soon without any sense of direction. Not with so many failed relationships. Not with so many who are not of good quality. Not with so many self-loathing, faggot calling, fysh dating, men who are willing to sleep with you when the sun goes down.

      1. LOL Bruh you see we are back at the same point you just can’t see to let go. The question wasn’t where are they but rather they exist, and I shared my thoughts with you about it. This is not a very complex issues. My to me I think they are in plain sight, however one must be in tune to knowing how to see them. They are the guy that you walk past down the cookie aisle at the grocery that you say to yourself hummmmmmmmm, they may be the public transit bus driver, or the brother siting next to you in Bishop Long’s church. I never have problem finding those top quality brothers, sisters and friends. I think that at the end of the day it is about the vibe we put out

  23. “Not everyone who is in the lifestyle is wired into gay clubs, gay social and hook up networks, some may have quit dealing with men altogether due to the constant drama and headaches they experience in relationships with insecure bottoms, or perhaps they quit dating black men.”

    This is true. Some of them lead very solitary lives.

    I have a serious question for the out foxes though.

    How do you have tons of gay friends and hit gay clubs on the regular and have zero prospects? I mean is there nothing but bottoms in clubs or areyou just not attracted to them?

    Vain do you or any of your friends have any platonic friendships with tops?

    1. I

      JAY :
      I have a serious question for the out foxes though.
      How do you have tons of gay friends and hit gay clubs on the regular and have zero prospects? I mean is there nothing but bottoms in clubs or areyou just not attracted to them?
      Vain do you or any of your friends have any platonic friendships with tops?

      Gay clubs vary based on what city you are located in and the culture of each club. So you can go to a club and be surrounded by the types you would never give the time of day to. The ones you click through on the internet. The ones you don’t follow of twitter. There will be a small amount who are at least “cute enough” to consider approaching but they’re often scattered and to themselves. There are few clubs where there are a prominent amount of men who look like the ones posted on yours blog, my blog, and jamari’s blog. But even then, most of them aren’t approaching you or come with a serious catch.

      To answer your second question, do myself or my friends have platonic friendships with tops? Personally I have about… hmm… three or four, i think? All were boys who tried to get with me in the beginning, one i slept with, but all ended up as friends. With the friends i hang out with…um, i can’t really of any that they hang out with or talk about? We don’t have any in our circle of friends though.

      1. So do those dudes have any friends that are tops? Have you been introduced?

        Oh and I’m still waiting on you to put me down with one of your loose friends, preferrably with a formidable backside.

        Don’t front either, everyone has AT LEAST one. lol

  24. Killablaq :
    LOL Bruh you see we are back at the same point you just can’t see to let go. The question wasn’t where are they but rather they exist, and I shared my thoughts with you about it. This is not a very complex issues. My to me I think they are in plain sight, however one must be in tune to knowing how to see them. They are the guy that you walk past down the cookie aisle at the grocery that you say to yourself hummmmmmmmm, they may be the public transit bus driver, or the brother siting next to you in Bishop Long’s church. I never have problem finding those top quality brothers, sisters and friends. I think that at the end of the day it is about the vibe we put out

    No, the question definitely read “Where are the quality wolves to be the premium towards?” Whether or not you interpreted it that way is something else. Your thoughts were simply that they exist, not necessarily any locations which is what I was asking.

    I meet quality FOXES all the time. Most of my friends are foxes and hybrids. But quality wolves, not so much. So if they are just people whom we walk past on a daily or see in the grocery store or in church or on the bus, what exactly are tactics in which to figure out who they are specifically? You’ve mentioned before thay you cannot tell someone gets down simply by looking at them. That the “gaydar” is something not proven. So do we have to approach them? Are there ways to get them to approach us? If its all about vibes, then is that just another word for “confidence” or is something else?

    And okay, so how do these individuals date and meet people for relationships? Is it through friends? Is it through exclusive or heterosexual parties? Or is it all at random? I don’t believe they exists as islands away from their romantic lives if they’re not in the gay scene.

  25. JAY :
    So do those dudes have any friends that are tops? Have you been introduced?
    Oh and I’m still waiting on you to put me down with one of your loose friends, preferrably with a formidable backside.
    Don’t front either, everyone has AT LEAST one. lol

    Do they have friends that are tops….Umm… One one i slept with is a loner. He hangs mostly with straight fysh and sleeps with boys at night. Another one is in a serious relationship with a guy but hides his sexuality for the most part. The third is heavily involved in the church but I don’t recall him having too many wolf friends? None of them have anything they could introduce me to. Its always been odd to me that wolves I know don’t have other wolf friends. So i assumed most of them don’t actually hang out with each other. Hence forth when Wolfstyle said he did… Jamari and I were like 0.o? What? What are they like? Do you talk about boys? Where do you hang out at? Because you don’t really see too much of that. Not from a foxes experience at least.

    Who are my loose friends? Uumm… one is now a “reformed” whore. The other I don’t hang out with anymore. That’s about it. My close friends are just like me, lol

    1. They can’t all be like you. If that’s the case I could just debate random stuff with you then. lmao

      I’ll take the reformed whore to go please! lol

      I’ll send him back to you in the a.m. with starry eyes and weak knees smelling of YSL cologne.

      I’ll even spring for the cab.

      I’m a nice guy:)

      1. Lol he still has his whore moments but for the most part he’s looking to settle down. Used to be much worse though. But You’re not his type, too young. He likes em’ 35+ and your penis has to be at least 8 or 9 inches and thick.

        But we aren’t exactly the same, like the details are different in terms of looks and origins and tastes. But when it comes to what we’re interested in we’re pretty similar. Its why we work so well together.

        Do you have any top friends? What are they like?

  26. UrSoVain :
    Lol he still has his whore moments but for the most part he’s looking to settle down. Used to be much worse though. But You’re not his type, too young. He likes em’ 35+ and your penis has to be at least 8 or 9 inches and thick.
    But we aren’t exactly the same, like the details are different in terms of looks and origins and tastes. But when it comes to what we’re interested in we’re pretty similar. Its why we work so well together.
    Do you have any top friends? What are they like?

    Pssh when I’m trying to get laid, I’m everyone’s type. lol

    One is a 30+ hybrid who’s dating someone way younger. You can just look at him and tell he’s been around the block enough to have it named after him.

    The other one is mostly a top with some bottom tendencies (i.e. he gets his ass licked from time to time and this one bottom got him to twerk in a club). He’s a player though, like go out with you and go to the bathroom and get head from another dude player. lol

    I think he’d be good for the right dude though. Thats what we have to keep in mind a dude can be smash and pass to one dude and perfect boyfriend to another.

    1. So they’re both whores? I see. How did you meet them? Do they know each other?

      And if hes never been a perfect boyfriend to anyone before, there isn’t any indication that he’ll be one to the “right dude.”

  27. “Whore” is such an ugly term. I prefer “free spirit”.

    Very few of us have been boyfriends to anyone and most those who have are lucky if they make it to six months.

    Everyone doesn’t project the same thing to everyone. I think it’s very possible a dude that just wanted to engage in wild sex activities with you may turn around and actually want to be with one of your friends on a serious level because they give something different.

If you wouldn't say it on live TV with all your family and friends watching, without getting canceled or locked up, don't say it on here. Stay on topic, no SPAM, and keep it respectful. Thanks!

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