finding myself in a quiet place

today was an interesting day to font the least.
i knew it was gonna be a shit show,
but who knew it would be in a quiet place.
  i didn’t sleep at all last night.
i fell asleep at like 11,
but i was up promptly at 230am.
from that point on…

…all i did was toss and turn.
my mind was on fire the whole night.
i could not stop thinking about negative shit.
my mind didn’t want me to be great.
it even got to the point that i woke up to try and jack off.
that usually puts me to sleep,
but at that point,
it was like 430am and i needed to be up in an hour.
as soon as my alarm went off,
i nearly screamed.

there was a side of me that wanted to call out,
but jamari fox wasn’t gonna bail on an assignment like that.
tired or not,
i got my tail up and was out the door.
now that my hair is shorter,
it was a quick and easy process for me to be out.

it took me 45 minutes to get to this new gig.
it is all the way downtown.
by the water.
i’ve never been this far down in the city in my life.
start time was 830am,
but i got there at like 815am.
when i got there,
no one was in the office.
i knocked,
rang the bell,
and even blew a smoke signal.
i put the whole situation on my ig stories.
someone finally came at like 915am.
i had to wonder if they messed up the time i was supposed to be there.
the person who was supposed to train me never showed up.
another gentleman showed me to my desk and it was set up real nice.
only thing tho…

THERE.
IS.
NO.
COMPUTER.
FOR.
ME.
TO.
USE.

i was also told they won’t be giving me their laptop access either.
so from 930am up until 530pm,
i sat at the desk literally doing nothing but looking at my phone.
one of the workers told me it doesn’t get busy or do they ever get any calls.

“Why am I here?” I said in my head.

well,
i have to stock the kitchen every morning and evening.
they have a weird abundance of milk also.
every monday and friday,
they get a delivery of milk.
i had to throw away about 4 cartons of expired milk,
only to replace it 4 new cartons of fresh milk.

confusion.

tomorrow,
since i know what i’m dealing with,
i’m bringing my laptop.
there’s no way i’m sitting at a desk for 8 hours looking at the wall.
this might be a perfect time for me to get a plan in motion too.

its not like i got shit else to do.

2 thoughts on “finding myself in a quiet place

  1. Yeah I understand completely, it gets that way at my job almost everyday too. Way I look at it, easy money while you plot and build towards your next move. Some ppl might complain about it but remember, you’re being paid to sit there.

  2. I truly feel that this is all a part of the universal plan for you — providing STRUCTURED time outside of the comforts of your home to be creative & think outside of the norm. You may come up with an idea tomorrow that somehow, had you been home with your laptop, would have never ignited. I think this is a great end of year time for you to plant a seed for 2019. 8 hours is a loooooong time to have free reign of creative space & paid opportunity. GO AT IT!!

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