first and foremost,
i want to apologize if that entry came off like a suicide note.
that was not my intention at ALL.
i maybe in a knock down; drag out fight with the devil,
but he hasn’t won yet.
we still gotta few more rounds until i throw in the towel.
this is how it all started…
which was thursday,
i was feeling a little defeated.
i won’t even lie,
but i was trying not to let it get to me.
i was on the about job search ( x facebook ) getting updates.
well all hell broke loose over there,
but alison doyle wanted everyone to remain calm.
she made a post about what are you “thankful” for.
since i don’t have an account to leave a message,
i decided to make one of here.
notice i said “i hope mr. green considers me for the job” line.
plus rhoa and walking dead come on tomorrow night.
so after i did alla that,
i turned everything on “do not disturb” and relaxed for the rest of the night.
sidebar: do not watch this:
…on an empty stomach.
that movie was a set up.
all these food monsters they were running from and i’m sitting there dead ass wanting to eat em.
when i woke up the next day,
i needed to take a day to talk to god.
really be in his face,
so i decided to do a spiritual fast.
i was gonna give up two meals,
breakfast and lunch,
and resumed at 8pm.
^the was me by 4pm of no food.
i sat in silence,
prayed for strength anytime i felt hungry,
and watched some youtube videos from td jakes.
this was a good one:
i cooked some food at 7pm so it would be ready for me to eat.
i made a box of pasta,
can a veggies,
with a butter garlic sauce.
well i nearly fainted because i had nothing in my system by 8pm.
thankfully i was fine after those 4 bowls i smashed.
when i finally turned my phone on,
it was blown up with a ton of messages from you guys.
one person even said:
“omg are you ok?
i hope you aren’t dead.
i’ll miss your tumblr but i’ll survive.”
well i am fine and thank you for the emails.
i will respond back throughout the day.
i want to talk about what direction i got from god in the next entry tho.
something i’m sure was the point of all this that is happening…