f0xmail: My Penis Isn’t Big and I’m Insecure About It. Help!


Hello Jamari

I am a frequent visitor and supporter of your blog. Reading your blog daily allows me to escape the stressors that life presents. In addition to the great eye candy, and different perspectives from the foxxes and wolves.

I am in my mid twenties and one major insecurity and depressing thoughts about my lack of endowment. Often times it makes me feel less than a man. In addition to being afraid to talk to guys or date with the fear of rejection for not measuring up to large standards. I have gotten accustomed to warring very baggy clothes to hide my small bulge. However as a recent college grad I will be starting a new office job soon and will have to be in business casual attire.

Do you have any advice on the type of style of pants and underwear that I should purchase , that will not make my shortcomings so apparent. Or perhaps enhance it comfortably.

Fyi I am blessed with a large back side so the rear portion of my pants fills out nicely. But I guess beggars can’t be choosey.

Thanks for reading


well thank ya!
i’m always grateful for the kind words.

fruit of the loom
andrew christian
michael kors
emporio armani (btw: which are really comfortable)
you can rock any of those brands of drawz,
but nothing will make you “look” bigger.
even if it does make you look bigger,
it will be false advertising in the end.
so i’ll be all the way real:

no one is paying attention to your crotch in the real world

well the hornballs and the pervs.
sometimes someone is way too big and it shows.
regular animals are actually looking at the way you carry yourself,
how your clothes fit your bawdy,
and the way you styled your fit.
unless you want people to give you “eggplant friday” accolades,
you shouldn’t be worried about how your pipe looks in your pants.
they might be asking why are you wearing baggy clothes in 2016 tho.

11u1wf0unV82Jy…but if it is “small”,
as you say,
no one is even looking in that direction.
unless you are attending a sex party or cruising the mall bathroom.

my advice…

start looking good and dressing the part.
often times,
we do things to hide our flaws that brings more attention to them.
if your bunz are your biggest feature,
then start enhancing them with how your pants fit.
if you are slim,
you can achieve “the model look” by your overall look.
you are less than a “man” if you are going the route of “loser”.
since you have graduated college,
you are pretty much steps ahead of many other people.
there is much more to life than if your pipe is big or not.
just because someone has a big pipe doesn’t mean they “win” at life.
a majority of the times,
they don’t even know how to use it.

kfkoRoWsince you are starting a new gig,
which i give you many congrats,
i say check out my ( x fox swagg files ) on pinterest for your new 2016 look.
so burn all those baggy clothes and lets start again,
shall we?
hope this helps!

jamari fox

…oh and if you feel insecure about your size,
just remember this wolf:
Screen Shot 2016-03-06 at 12.18.31 PM…well he allegedly isn’t the biggest,
but he owns his look/style.
there are many out here who aren’t “blessed” and you won’t even know.
i bet they still getting sexed down crazy tho.

lowkey: has anyone noticed animals with big bunz usually aren’t packing?

need advice?
x i like it when my hot line bling

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

32 thoughts on “f0xmail: My Penis Isn’t Big and I’m Insecure About It. Help!”

  1. Yea. Alot of big booty guys usually aren’t packing. It’s like it’s pushed back into the booty. But then you meet many who have ass and dick. Kinda like black girls who either have ass OR titties. Both are rare. And only size queens care about big dicks. As long as it gets hard and can hit a g spot, who cares?

    1. Ain’t that the truth!!! I always why is that? Like I know there are some big booty niggas with big dicks but they are rare….. But how small is this big booty reader is? If it’s 7 o 8 inches then that is not small at all. I love wolves with a 7 inch penis cause that is big for my ass, but 8 inches is a deluxe, but 9 inches? I’m dead. Too much for me.

      1. thank you LIndo, I’ve always said that 7 inches is good enough to both suck and fuck. I dont think may people realize exactly how big a 7 inch dick is. And if you are a bottom and you think 7 inches is too small then boo, you might need bugina -plasty. lol I prefer an average size dick, its more comfortable to me.

  2. If this is something you’re REALLY insecure about, do something. If you’re not big, cut your losses and enhance other features. Whether it’s your stroke game, eating the cakes, find something and get creative.

    You seem like a very successful person, which shows us you have willpower. You’ll have to put in work on something other than just being lucky to be born porn star size, like most people.

  3. Let’s face it, a lot of gay black men are OBSESSED with large, thick, long, and strong penises. 🙄 Having a small penis, as a top, could potentially ruin your swag in the gay community. I love J’s advice about dressing nice. Head to toe swag can definitely be a confidence booster. The main thing the writer has to do is learn to be OK with the way God made him. Someone will love it! The right someone too!

    1. Yeah…it could ruin his rep, but if he knows how to use what he’s got he could get props just as well.
      A queen may be yearning for a bi dick, but if an average size dude puts the stroke on them just as good…those fickle fucks will be telling all their friends! It ain’t the size of the ship but how you captain that ship! My nutjob ex was about the size of my middle finger, no lie. He must have been good at something ’cause the chick were flocking to him like crazy. Never got to try it out though.

      1. And Steven wan’t THAT little. When it got hard, it was a decent size.
        I wouldn’t turn his ass away that’s for sure! LOL

      1. 8 to 8.5 or 9 is perfect. Well 9 is kinda getting in the big range. As long as a guy can hit the prostate, great.

        Everyone is different cause I for sure have heard some folks say smaller ones hurt & average or larger ones feel better but then now I see folks saying other things.

        I had a friend who isnt well endowed & he met a guy and he showed it to him. The guy’s response?? Nothing…he laughed at him. My friend told me he struggles with the insecurity a lot.

      2. Most studies find the average to be like 5-7 inches, believe it or not. 8 is big and anything above that you we’re given a gift, learn to use it. 😁

      3. a man might be 9+ inches but I can GUARANTEE he’ll only be using 7 with me.
        i think ppl forget how big inches are … like really, get a ruler and look at that damn space… that shit is scary

        but to answer your question, big for me is anything over 7 – that shit is treacherous.
        don’t really know what’s small for me – I dated a guy who was about 5 inches fully erect but he was/is literally the best LOVER I’ve ever had. I also happen to have a big booty but he sho’nuff did what he came to do… but he’s also super flexible so maybe that was it LMAO

  4. I definitely would not worry about that. Some guys just aren’t endowed like they would like to be. I’m about to get a little TMI in here. My “situation” is literally like one and a half to two inches soft, so no bulge at all, but over 8 at “attention.” A lot of guys and girls I have been with prejudge because I guess they assume that’s the biggest it gets when they first see it. The point in me saying this is that people are always going to have a problem with something. If they are willing to accept it, fine, if they aren’t, move on to the next one until you find someone that makes you happy. Not everyone wants a hole destroyer. Shit, I have personally been turned down a couple of times myself because it’s too much and even a couple “not big enoughs.” Like I said, always a problem with something.

    1. Honestly when people judge a man’s size while he’s soft I think they’re either slow or just haven’t seen any.

      I blame porn for all of these situations if you’re black as well. Stereotypes for blacks is still very real out here. Porn would have a pineapple thinking every black man has a 10 inch BBC. 😒

      1. You’re probably right. People seem to forget that porn is a fantasy and no where near reality.

      2. lol, yep. Porn have average to slightly above average size dudes looking huge. Like I’ve said before Nat Turnher, and 90s pornstars like Ron Hightower, Big Hercules and etc. looks big on cam but you can tell they are not as huge as they look on camera in real life. They are nice but they probably no bigger than 7.5 inches max.

  5. Nothing to worry about trust me. Most of us foxes prefer a smaller penis because they are easier to deal with ( think deep throating 😘) like everyone else had said as long as you know what you’re doing with it you’re fine.

    I know how you’re feeling tho because I have little to no buns ( as a fox I feel like I need to have a big butt, I have been going to the gym trying to lift heavy and eating more but I realize my issue is different from yours because I have the option to grow my problem area)

    There is underwear on the market they will make you penis print look bigger while you’re wearing them but as J said that would be just false advisement. Just step up your style game and you’re be fine.

  6. I absolutely don’t care about size! I mean looking at a massive one is fun, luckily I have never seen one in person. I wouldn’t know what to do with it long term. I’m attracted to the individual. If chemistry is there and love develops, everything else is just that. As long as you gain pleasure and are giving pleasure. Then its fantastic regardless.

  7. Sadly, Penis size in the Black gay community is still very much a big deal. I cant even count how many real life situations, message boards, websites I have seen where gay men make such a big deal about penis size as if any of us have a say in how big our peens are. Even at the foxhole I have seen less endowed men being put down or being spoke of in a negative way. It is so much pressure on Black men gay and str8 to live up to being a hyper sexual well endowed freak in the bedroom. I had a dude who was a total bottom tell me a couple of years ago that I was small as a way to try to hurt me when I kicked him to the curb but it was all good before that, and sadly that really bothered me in a way, I think as a man we have this insecurity even if we know it is not true, much like a female will tell a dude she wants to hurt that he has a small dick, we have been so programmed as men to base our whole identity on our dick size and sexual prowess that when someone comes for it, we feel some type of way. In a perfect world, penis size really would not matter, but I would be a fool to think that this is the case especially with black dudes both gay and straight. I have homies who are well endowed, both gay and straight and when I tell you they dog boys out and the str8 ones dog females out and these stupid partners of theirs both male and female will come back and ask for more. I have a gay homie who had a bottom he was fukkin put a $3000 down payment on a car for him and he broke up with him like a month later and this dude will still call him and ask him if he needs anything. I am like WTF, seriously, and my homie will brag that he know he has good dick and these dudes confirm it by the stupid shit they do, same with str8 homies who have done even worse to females. Big dicks are placed on a pedestal in society no matter what it is attached too LoL.

    At the end of the day, no matter your size, you have to have confidence in yourself and your ability. If someone dont want you because you dont measure up to their so called standards and you are a good decent hardworking person, tell them thank you, because it is so many people out here who could care less, and will love to be with you because you are the total package, no matter your size.

  8. To hell with a big penis…you have a degree, a job and on your way to big things…Big dicks are overrated and lord knows so many tops don’t know how to use them. A big dick doesn’t matter if you’re still trying to find yourself at the age 35 still living in your mothers attic. A man is not measured by his penis size. My best sexual experience came from a man who was about 6-7 inches. he was passionate and his stroke was amazing…Meanwhile my worse sexual experience was from a guy who was about 9+ inches. He kept pounding me and he came fast. So again it’s how you work it. Everyone is so amazed with a big dick until it’s time to take it lol

    1. I dont have much experience with “big dick dudes”. I pretty much stays in my lane and deal with average size dudes bc to me, its where Im most comfortable. And you are right, to me their stroking is way better. I remember trying this dude that was like 9 inches thick. I was too tight for him,lol He couldn’t even penetrate me. TMI ,I know but, it is what it is. However, Ive heard may other bottoms complaining about the Mandingo dudes and their inability to stroke. lol One dude told me once he was messing with this really big dick dude and it was so boring that he fell the sleep while in doggy. He said dude was hung but he couldn’t fuck. Of course theirs always exception to the rule, but I’ve only had maybe one dude that claim every big dick dude he ever had was good. And I just chuckles to my self ( why are lying, you always lying, its not statistically possible), bc while Ive had some good run ins with average size dude and their sick stroking, I’ve had average size dudes that had no stroke game or rhythm at all.

  9. Penis size is a gay thing. Not a black gay thing. People obsess over how “hung” a guy is all the time no matter the race. I’ve seen it all. Stop the division people.

    And furthermore, Steve Beck’s nudes are online so it isn’t alleged.

  10. This is not my area of expertise, but I will say that you have to use what you have. There is nothing you can do about the size, and no do not get surgery. If anyone does not like the size, tell them to kick rocks. However, you can make up for it in many ways, including good foreplay and head game.

  11. Blacks and black gay men in particular have a distorted view of what an average penis size actually is, which is 7.5in

    I’m probably between 7.5 and 8 inches and I’ve never gotten any complaints because I’m thick.

    The only guys that put a lot of emphasis on size are dick hounds you don’t want anyway.

    1. No disrespect but that is not average. The average according to multiple studies is anywhere between 5 and 5.5 inches with about 90% of men somewhere in between 4 and 6.3 inches erect.

      1. Thank you Christian. Hell he coulda even google that bit of information, lol. A lot of dudes fall in that average range. I think that depends on how thick the dick is, it tampers with the evidence and deludes people into thinking that some dicks are actually bigger than they really are. Which brings me to what I’ve always said,people don’t really understand measurements and people really don’t know exactly how big a 7 inch dick is, lol. . People spend too much time watching porn and looking at dudes with exaggerated dick sizes, not taking to account what is called “porn magic” lol, which entails sizes of camera lenses and angles they use to play up a dude real size. Check out some of the average or slightly above average dudes and you will see that their length isn’t consistent. Peep out Nat Turnher (damn I heart that wolf,lol) and some of the real old school porn guys like Ron Hightower, Big Hercules, and other guys from the 90s. They really don’t have big dicks, but porn magic says otherwise. I’ve seen a lot of 6-6.5 inch dudes claiming 9 inches and I just sit there looking at it brick hard and all I want to say is, you are missing like 3 whole inches.

        For you tops/wolves out there, please understand that having a average size dick is big enough to “break” a fox back, unless that fox is a loosey goosey. lol. Hell if thats the case then that’s not your fault!

  12. I understand where his frustration is coming from. I want to say that a smaller size does have it’s benefits. For one I noticed when I was experimenting on myself that I didn’t like for it to go all the way in. It felt best staying at the tip of my prostate. Any deeper and it hurt. I guess I was supposed to push thru the pain until it started feeling good but ain’t nobody got time for that.

  13. Anyone who wants you/doesn’t want you for your dick is someone you don’t want anyway. I understand people have their preferences and “needs”, but IMO there’s a bit of BS in that. If you really cared for someone it wouldn’t matter as much, you would work around it, if it was a problem. There probably is a “too small” but in most cases, I highly doubt it, it’s harder to work around a “too big” IMO anyway.

    The grass is always greener, and people will feed you this rhetoric of it being too small this, and too small that, and then those same people will switch up and say “it’s the motion of the ocean” or some BS when they know they really DO care about dick size, let’s be real here. It’s almost like racism, do you believe what an ignorant (non black) person tells you about being black? Do you believe what the media tells you? I would hope not. It’s the same situation here. We all are being fed this information to be conditioned to believe a certain thing, some people fall for it, others will outsmart the system and know their TRUE individualistic value on society. Know your value, and find a partner who can think beyond the system too.

    In short, think beyond your penis friend! You seem to be worth much more than that. I’m very sensitive to sensory experience so if I like you, your look, your touch, your voice etc. will get me going, not your penis size, i could give a damn about that lol. That’s just me though. It’s more about the man attached to the penis than the actual penis itself. That’s what matters to me, and it’s what SHOULD matter in general, but many people aren’t mature enough to realize that.

    We can call it a gay thing, a black thing or whatever you guys want, but in all honesty, the thread that connects both of them is the maturity level of the people that buy into this mess. It’s a maturity thing.

    1. Thanks Dignified, I love your way of thinking, it’s outside the box and inspiring.

      Comments like this are one of the things I like about the foxhole. I come here with a certain mindset, read the comment, and see how brain washed my way of thinking was before.

    2. I just read your comment while waiting on a train and almost did a victory lap around the bench on the platform!!! preach brutha preach!!!

  14. The funny thing is, people are looking at porn stars like they are overly hung. Most of them are in the 7-9 range. It’s rare to see a 9.5+ Anyway, I find that a lot of men in the community like an average man. Everything surrounding that one appendage is actually more enticing and if someone can’t get over their issue (and it really is someone else’s problem if your dick isn’t to THEIR liking) you won the day by them dismissing themselves.

  15. None of you have seen a penis bigger than 9 inches so quit lying

    Average is 5-6 inches

    7-8 is big

    8-9 is huge

    Mandingo has the biggest penis ever in porn and he is 9 inches,none of you have seen bigger than him so quit lying

If you wouldn't say it on live TV with all your family and friends watching, without getting canceled or locked up, don't say it on here. Stay on topic, no SPAM, and keep it respectful. Thanks!

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