f0xmail: He, Me, and His Boyfriend He Claim He Don’t Like No Mo

tumblr_envelope_letterFOXMAIL

Hey Jamari, I’m new to your website but I love it already! I wanted your opinion on a situation. So basically me and a guy messed around and I caught feelings. A few weeks later he told me he started seeing someone so we kinda stopped talking to each other. I deleted all of his contact information and everything.

A few months passed and we ran into each other, we traded numbers again. We started hanging out again (nothing sexual) but feelings started coming back, mind you he still has a boyfriend. When we would hang out he’d always tell me how he knows his boyfriend is just a college relationship and he doesn’t see them together in the future or he’ll tell me about their issues. He’d always flirt with me whether it be in person or through text messages and tell me that his boyfriend is jealous of me. There was even a time when he went away for spring break and his first stop when he got back into town was my place
(you’d think after being gone a week the first place y
ou would go when you get back at 2am would be home where you live with your boyfriend)

Finally I couldn’t deal with my feelings I was having for him so I just had to tell him and ask if it was mutual and if I was wasting my time waiting for something that would never happen.

His response was “Lol right”

Am I wrong for being angry?

Was I stupid for catching feelings?

How should I handle the situation?

MY ANSWER…

“wow what an asshole…”
HOT-MEGAN-FOX-D-zainah122-29336836-500-270i literally said that when i read his response of “right”.
that is the type of “full of shit” response you would expect from “the asshole”.
someone who has no respect for anyone.
he wanted his cake and his ice cream.
you,
reader,
being the ice cream with the fudge melted on top.

tumblr_lec1gfzoBH1qdpjw9not for nothing,
but you were also wrong as well.

i’ll tell you why.
so you stopped speaking to him because you found out he was seeing someone,
yet you got back with him when he had a man???
#huh

you knew he had a man,
yet you still chose to deal with him…
again.
you ended up not caring about his man’s feelings.
you only cared about yours.
so when he came over your crib after spring break,
because he was talking so negatively about his live in situation,
you thought you would still have a chance with him.
you failed to see the all his red flags.
maybe the clouds were too low for you to actually see them?

sooooooooo you shouldn’t be angry at all.
i think you should be extremely happy.
happy you won’t be the “getting played boyfriend” of his future.
happy that he showed you who he was and you finally believed him.
happy that he answered “right” like he didn’t give a fuck.
he doesn’t give a fuck about you or anyone for that matter.
why would you even want to date him?
he is an asshole!
look kat williams said it best:

no offense.
tough love.
my advice is to erase his information the second and last time.
hell throw your phone out the window or in the river and buy a new one.
that is if you haven’t learned that this will go absolutely nowhere yet.
at the end of the day:

“he’s just not that into you…
or his boyfriend.”

hope that helps.

best,
jamari

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

18 thoughts on “f0xmail: He, Me, and His Boyfriend He Claim He Don’t Like No Mo

  1. Perfect advice J. As I was reading, I was ready to say the exact same thing in my comment. I kept thinking “this dude clearly doesn’t respect his boyfriend so why would he want to be with him when he’d probably/most likely do the same thing back to him.”

    That dude is just too immature for a relationship.

  2. You are right Jamari, He doesn’t care about anyone, but himself. He’s gonna leave a lot destruction and heartbreak in any path that he travels.

  3. Yea, dude straight played you, and you allowed it to happen. For one, he should not have been over your house at 2 in the morning. He was not your man, and he belonged to someone else, which means you had no business letting him past the door. It is your place to say no, not his.
    However, it seems like you were entertained by him talking to you while he had a boyfriend, and you didn’t seem to mind until he hurt your feelings.

  4. Only reason you stopped because you realized you were not getting the title of boyfriend. If he said I’m leaving him for you (whether he was lying or not) you know you would have done it.

    Like others said, you knew that he had a man and you let him in at 2am knowing that only things open at 2am are legs.

    You should have been cut this nigga off, I thought this was common sense.

  5. Yep, he walked into the side piece role perfectly.

    I personally have no problem with side pieces. Get it how you live! Everyone isn’t relationship material. You must be clear on your role though and you weren’t!

    Unless he’s your boyfriend or best friend, no man is coming to your spot at 2 a.m. unless he wants to smash. Him downing is boyfriend, who HE CHOOSES to be with to you was nothing more than a ploy to get you to be his side thing.

    There’s nothing wrong with feeling some type of way about the situation, but first he needs to delete his number again and never talk to this dude again. Learn from the situation and don’t repeat it.

    If you’re going to try to make a play for someone else’s dude at least be the one pulling the strings!

    He should thirsting for you, while you’re the one acting indifferent to him. Make him the one to catch feelings because you have something his man doesn’t.

    If you’re going to go the THOT route do it right. lol

      1. The older I get, the less opposed I get to being boyfriend #2.

        All the fun without the nagging!

        I’d never be the one waiting by the phone though.

        Plus, have you ever smashed a big booty bottom who’s broke ass boyfriend didn’t get them a birthday gift?!

        I gave him a STRONG 15 minutes and gave him a gift on his ass. Lmao!

    1. The reader wanted to take the place of the main, I don’t think he wanted to be the side piece. He was playing a dangerous game thinking he was going to lure ol dude from his boyfriend. That was his agenda, which is a mistake most people make when dealing with men they are trying to cuff.

      If you want to be a man’s jumpoff, do not expect no commitment, and no nights cuddling with a man that is not yours. Know your role. I have to assume that most people want a relationship, and a man to call their own. I want that as well. I can’t share no one.

      Jay don’t give a damn, and he has felt that way for a while lol. That man is coming tho. You just wait. One day he is going to be singing Deborah Cox’s Nobody is Supposed to be Here.

  6. Great advice J. Ive actually been in the same situation and at times find myself still flirting with the dude but he has a boyfriend and i figured maybe we should keep it friends. But you know what the right thing to do is to leave him alone but something draws you in which ends up being those selfish feelings creeping back up on you. Its like Being Mary Jane. Hes my drug and i know its wrong but that doesnt stop me from wanting him. Its unfortunate but thats honesty. I feel karma is gonna hit me in the ass one day like 5 Assassins in Kill Bill got their due.

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