Category: A LIL TASTE OF JAMARI
therapy sucks.
today is a tough day.
it’s an emotionally tough day.
when it comes to therapy,
i think many people have the wrong idea about it.
people,
especially some black folks,
have a fear of really opening up and revealing their feelings.
males are taught that showing emotions is “weak” and “feminine“.
gay males are taught something is wrong with us o be like “insert male figure in life here“.
I have very limited males I’ve looked up to
maybe my uncle,
but i was intimated of him because he came off cold af.
yesterday’s therapy session really conjured up a shit ton of emotions for me…
oh hi! jamari fox is as self-absorbed like his father (let me find the roof to jump off of)
on the morning of my birthday,
i didn’t want to be bothered.
it was an entirely “reflective” morning so i didn’t look at my phone.
my father blew up my phone back to back.
when we finally spoke,
he said:
“Oh,
you didn’t answer so I figured you were done with me.”
huh?
it really had me tilted,
but i realized that i do that same shit to others too.
my therapist called me TF out today and told me i’m sorta like my father.
i’m currently bald with an empty tummy because i threw up.
after today’s session…
i wonder if i woulda been straight like my daddy?
i pray that i’ve never provided anyone with any trauma out here.
we don’t realize the things we do can really fuck someone up.
they can carry that trauma with them for years,
crippling them from being the best versions of themselves.
yesterday,
on my birthday,
my daddy called me and we had a transparent conversation.
i wanted to hear his side of the story and i’ll be honest with you…
Continue reading “i wonder if i woulda been straight like my daddy?”
happy birthday to me | accountability | july 5th
cousin hybrid waited until today to send me a few shots of me as a little fox in barbados.
my love for socks started early.
i am happy that he waited until my birthday which is today tbh.
it was more special.
so i’m gonna do an accountability entry but a little different.
this will be my birthday edition but my accountability for this upcoming lap around the sun…
Continue reading “happy birthday to me | accountability | july 5th”
this birthday weekend is hella trash.
in a perfect world in all transparency,
for my birthday weekend,
i wouldn’t be in new yawk.
check the scene:
I’d be traveling to another state with someone.
I’d be getting smashed and sucking dick all weekend.
We’d go see the sights,
I’d buy something pretty,
and I’d come back to new yawk to have a nice get together with friends,
celeb friends,
and foxholers.
I’d have that freshly vacationed and fucked glo’ while enjoying my folk’s company.
that’s a perfect world.
this year,
i have no plans and shit is a wash…
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