two things can be true at the same time.
i don’t think many of us realize this,
especially in the black community.
we expect everyone to be as pretty and perfect as what we see on instagram.

you can have a very pretty life and be very sad too.
hell…

There are people who post their pretty pictures but literally waiting to die.

can you handle their truth?
or do you want them to always be pretty?
to entertain you because you are dying inside too?
you don’t come to this foxhole because i post pretty pictures,
pretending to be better than you…

Continue reading “oh hi, i’m back from my psychotic meltdown” →

Continue reading “i am a failure.” →

a few minutes ago,
i spoke with the company about my mother’s life insurance policy.
i get letters that there are only 100 dollars in there.
right now,
i’m going through a serious struggle and need to pay off some bills.
asap.
it won’t be enough but at least it will pay off one important bill.
so i called to withdraw and close the account.
they asked me a ton of questions to confirm my identity.
when it came to confirm who i have listed as my beneficiary,
i named my sister because (at the time) that was obvious.

“Nope,
that isn’t it.”

so i’m like wtf?
i go down a list of names in my family and nothing.
i found out who would get the money in there if i passed…

Continue reading “the demon jackal who would benefit off me when i died” →

comparison is the thief of joy.
that is def a factual statement.
when we compare ourselves to others,
it is legit stealing our own happiness.
i’m also going to ask:

Are you simply just jealous?

hmmm…

Continue reading “are you just jealous because you think they’re better than you?” →

during my time offline for my birthday,
i decided to watch a movie called “the whale” starring brendan fraser.
in the movie,
he played said whale.
no seriously,
he was pretty large.

the movie touches on truth,
addiction,
and forgiveness.
even with how cruel some of the people were to charlie (brendan fraser),
he still tried to show love and see the positive within their disgust/hatred.
from the start,
middle,
and end,
i was bawling in all kinds of ugly.
ever so often,
a movie comes along during a time i need to watch it.
“the whale” was it for me and i thought to myself…

Am I The Whale too?

Continue reading “I am a whale, swimming in a circle, in an ocean that is too deep.” →

i hate when i hear people pressuring others to have kids.
like,
why do they even care?
some people freak out when i say i don’t want kids.
“i don’t like them and i don’t want them.”
add on:
they are expensive and the way they setting this country up nowadays…
nope.

it’s like they pressure you into something “because you are supposed to“.
i don’t think i ever wanted kids tbh.
as a kid,
i never dreamed of being a dad.
hell,
did i even want to be married?
as you get deep into your 30s and you are chillin’,
everyone starts to ask and wonder…

Continue reading “your sperm has been going on faces or tissues (kids, when tho?)” →