maybe…

we are too much.
we aren’t enough.
we say the wrong things.
we shouldn’t have fought back.
we were never the right fit.
we have been the square in the circle.

all of those things can be true.
we are not robots either.
i think what hurts the most is when we can say/font,
without the possibility of a doubt,
that we did nothing wrong in a conflict.
we do live in a climate of:

blind leading the blind off the cliff like some lemmings

…and there are a lot of muthafuckas who KNOW we were in the right,
or that we were the victims,
but the chose to turn the blind eye while we suffered.
we got thrown in the fire because it was easier than accountability.
they watched as our reputations got tarnished and never called the person(s) out.

the people who know their friend,
partner,
or family member is wrong and doesn’t say anything.

they tell us to fight back,
stand our ground,
and don’t take no shit but my question is…

we don’t realize other people are going through their own shit too.
i am so in my head about this housing shit,
i was brought back down to earth really quick.
now this doesn’t mean my issue isn’t stressful,
but when i talk/font to others,
i’ve been shown they are stressed TF out too.
one of my home vixens got to chatting last week.
i told her shit has been rough without going into too much detail.
so she responded that she….

lately,
i’ve been listening to the “waiting to exhale” soundtrack.
i know.
that isn’t a good sign.
it has me thinking about bernadine’s storyline in the movie.

she was the faithful wife,
thinking she was going to have a night out with her husband,
when he tells her that he is leaving her for a white vixen.

right now,
i am bernadine but i’m past the shock phase.
that was saturday when i heard the test of my emergency broadcast system.
today…

when i saw the poster for the new movie from a24,
“pillion“,
i knew exactly what that collar represents.
someone i was talking to recently introduced me to the sub/dom culture.
it was something that i heard about but never knew the inner workings of.

i found it sexy AF when he told me that he put a collar on his last partner.
the collar represents that as a dom,
you are his.
the collar isn’t always metal btw.

he told me how when he was in the bedroom with his sub(s)…

i want you to do something for me.
ready?
it might be a big ask for some but…

i won’t even hold you but last week drained me dry.
i was at an empty and the only way i could get a refill was to step away.
has anyone noticed the forests have been non-stop confusion lately?
since __________,
we haven’t had a break or a moment of peace.
if it ain’t been this; it been that.
so last week,
you all know we witnessed a(nother) murder for the forests to see.
i was pretty indifferent to it but what really drained me…