Alcohol Doesn’t Heal Hurt

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“are you okay?”

that is one of the texts from mi i got right after i closed my laptop last night.
i shouldn’t be asked if i’m “okay”.
are you serious?
you hurt me and ask me i’m okay?
bitch…
so this is how it went down last night.
if i’m in the wrong,
please let me know…

so after the rent issue that day,
we weren’t speaking.
she came back in the house that night and say two words to me.
she did turn my tv on,
got comfortable,
and got on her social media sites.

whatever.
closed my door and did my thing.

so yesterday,
i called her from work and we had a real talk.
it felt like it ended on a high note.
she told me she didn’t have a lot of money,
but i suggested we put our money together to buy groceries.

cool.

when i got home,
we talked and things were good.
i went and took a nap.
when i woke up,
i saw i had missed texts from her on my laptop.
my phone was in the buried in the sheets or somewhere in my room.
well she wanted to talk to me.
when i get to the living room,
she tells me she is going out and if one of her friends could stay over.
i told her from the time she got here that i didn’t want her people in here.
i said no.
i don’t know who it was and i don’t want some random in my spot.
well from there it escalated.

“i pay rent and you mean i can’t have my people come over?”

um?
you actually didn’t even have it all.
so at this point,
we arguing.
she is calling me out my name and acting like this is her spot.
she said she don’t care about me and this and that.
so i hit her with a smooth:

“fuck you”

and walked away.
she then goes:

“what you say nigga?”

…and starts swinging.
we go from the wall to the couch.
i’m trying to block these swings,
but she gets a few good connects.
she ends up scratching me on my neck and cheek.
she then throws two glass at me.
luckily they missed me.
she goes into my kitchen,
grabs a knife,
and says something like:

“you really don’t want this!”

…or something to the like.
i back up and tell her get her shit and get out.

“good i will”

she gathered some things and walked out.

“i blacked out and i’m sorry.
please don’t kick me out.”

…was her final text to me last night.
i didn’t answer.
i have nothing to say.
she made it pretty clear with her actions last night.
i can’t live with someone who blacks out.
whats next?
getting stabbed to death because i left the toilet seat up?
nah homie.
i tried,
but we have two different ideas when it comes to living together.
smh.
she needs to get some kind of counseling before i could ever feel comfortable around her again.
is it wrong i’m concerned about her well being still?
even tho i’m real tite right now,
with the blood stains to prove it,
i am not heartless.
…or maybe i need to be?

lowkey: i bothered not to go to the station since she confessed in texts for hitting me first.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

31 thoughts on “Alcohol Doesn’t Heal Hurt

    1. ^ thanks jay.
      everyone i asked about this,
      including the comments from previous,
      all said the same thing.
      the majority said I did the right thing.
      she crossed the line putting her hands on me over some bullshit.
      it’s a shame it all ends like this.

      1. No problem. After some time my brother and i are cool. I speak to him over phone but haven’t seen him since then. I told him we goid but he can never stay with me again. Hopefully yall could be cool again she just needs to know she cant come to u for help anymore.

  1. First of all, you’re doing her a FAVOUR, by keeping her off the streets, if you said from the beginning that you don’t want randoms in your house, then that’s how its going to be, its not up for negotiation. Your spot is being paid for in YOUR name, so what you say is what goes. End of story.
    You were not wrong. She prioritized her phone over her RENT, and then proceeds to disrespect you when you call her out on it like you SHOULD?
    I’m sorry, if anyone puts their hands on me, they’re dead to me. Might as well be if I don’t kill them first.

    WHO DOES THAT?!! She pulled a knife on you? WTF? IN YOUR HOUSE? WTF is she crazy? You or her could have been seriously hurt with her acting like a disgruntled teenager.

    I would have said a lot more than “fuck you” if it were me, and she would be brave to even try to put her hands on me.

    That is NOT how you treat someone who’s doing you a favour. Let alone your own family, wtf is that?!
    Her number would be blocked from my phone, I wouldn’t have time for that back and forth nonsense. Once I’m done with you, I’m done. No back and forth. Don’t have the nerve to text me and try to be nice to me after you attack me. That’s just psychotic behaviour. Just me personally.

    For you, just do what feels right for you, but I wouldnt let her back in after that, at all. We wouldnt have a relationship period. That’s just nuts.

    Do you know what your next step is going to be in this situation? Or just the chips fall where they may?

    1. ^im thinking I’m wiping my hands.
      how can I trust someone like that in my spot.
      I feel as comfortable as hell now.
      my heart doesn’t want to see her on the streets,
      but my mind is saying she is a psycho when she gets angry.
      blacking out?
      naaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.

      1. I would be low-key worried about her too don’t get me wrong but that behaviour is just inexcusable.
        Blacking out is not okay, or an excuse, its just psycho.
        She has no gratitude for the depths you went through to help her out. I would be kissing your feet and giving you foot rubs everyday if you asked me if you did that for me lol. Not a peep from me because I know if there’s something I don’t like I’d better find somewhere else to live rather than bite the hand that feeds me!
        I don’t understand how some people have the nerve! Especially after something SO small! She freaked out just because she cant have someone over?
        #Byefelicia.

      2. Omg, could you imagine? That would be a S-class nightmare. If you let one thing slide, you will find yourself allowing allowing her boyfirend and all her “friends” have a place to “crash”. Ew. Can you imagine she’s have friends over getting drunk and partying with loud music and stuff? My god. I’m too introverted to be able to comprehend that! lol!
        She thinks she’s a roommate, no, you’re giving her a place to crash until she can get her own, its not an equal dynamic here. You’re in charge and helping her to get on her OWN feet. Way out of pocket!

  2. Your right J , im trying to figure what would make Mi even comfortable to ask you can someone stay over when you letting her stay over I know she got a job later on but it all started from you being a awesome family member helping her out let’s not forget that she needs to remember!

  3. I am confused,what does she mean she “blacked out”? Doesn’t Blacked out mean you don’t remember what happened.Obviously she remembers what happened or she would not have asked are you ok.Personally I am not going to live with a physically violent person,it’s too stressful.Especially someone who can go from 0 to 60 in seconds.Your like is too stressful to deal with worrying about when she is going to black out again.

  4. Well obviously she started it. First she has to understand that she stays there and you live there, which means you are allowing her to live with you. You make the rules. What say can she have if she hasn’t even paid rent yet? Plus, she put your hands on you. As long as you didn’t beat her down, I can’t blame you.

  5. I’ll say it for you. FUCK HER
    RENT OR NOT SHE DON OWN ANYTHING OVER THERE. I’LL SAY IT AGAIN FUCK HER

    1. You can’t help those who don’t want to help themselves and you can’t save those who don’t want to be saved

  6. I don’t know what happened to my other comment.
    You have to think about your health, your physical ,emotional and psychological health.Your life is too stressful to deal with a violent person in your home.Maya Angelou says when someone shows you who they are ,believe them.She didn’t just curse you out she threw glasses at you,pulled a knife…

  7. Scary shit, you were not wrong like I said in the other post.she was dead wrong for putting her hands on you and having attitude even through you werecgiving her a second chance. I hope she gets the help she needs.

  8. That’s how this new generation of people are in their late teens to early 20’s these days. They think saying sorry after the fact gives them a pass. Nope!

    She always wants someone to stay at your spot. Where were all her friends when she needed somewhere to stay?!

    She’s gotta move around for all the reasons everyone else stated, but as well as she may have you catching a DV charge if she starts something and you have to knock her ass out. I don’t fool with women like that. Someone gets hurt and then you end up in jail or have a record.

    Don’t feel bad at all. You really gave her a fair shot. Fed her and kept a roof over her head while you’re trying to get your own life together. Some people have to hit rock bottom and be on their own to appreciate what people have done for them. Your conscience is clean.

  9. Glad you didn’t respond. She texted you with a “are you okay?” Not an apology even though she put her hands on you first. Fuck outta here. It’s alright that you’re worried about her but she made her own bed and now she has lay in it. And it’s like Jay says, you gave her a fair shot. AND this isn’t the first chance you’ve given her. She’s already fucked up a while back when she kept smoking weed and couldn’t get a job because of that. Ain’t no more chances after this BS. #ByeFelecia

  10. Jamari, please accept my apology for what I am about to say. You are a damn fool for not having already filed a police report. The knife could have punctured your lung or some other vital organ. The scratches to your neck and face could have been to one if your eyes. I know the bonds of family can be strong, and I don’t know anyone more generous than I am, but I speak from having seen this type of thing before and it doesn’t end prettily. Of course, you’re a grown man; this decision, as others you make, is yours.

  11. You did the right thing…that is YOUR spot so YOU make the rules and she was dead wrong for cussing you out and swinging on you. Then had the nerve to say she pays rent and she aint even have it all. Clearly her priorities are fucked up…

  12. I’m sorry to hear that happened J. I’ve been down that road and it’s not a good feeling ppl take your kindness for weakness. If u not paying rent u have no rights. Food doesn’t count. I hope your cousin gets help and you regain your peace back.

  13. Really! She pulled a Porsha on you. They conveniently “blacked out” when they got violent. You had already made it clear from your previous entries you didn’t want any randoms in your house. Maybe this is why your aunt kicked her to the curb and didn’t look back. I feel bad because I know you don’t want a young woman out there in the skreets fending for herself. But your injuries could’ve been much worse in the scuffle. Glass objects were thrown at you. What if some had gotten in your eyes or punctured your skin?

  14. I had to go through some similar shit this morning. My nephew who lives with me(rent free). I wake up unexpectedly at 2am last night, go into the livingroom and see my door half open. his ass out partyin came home home and went back out and leaves my door partially open but locked. he gonna tell me “Sorry unc but we in a good section of town aint nobody gonna come in”. Fuck that it’s mass murderers runnin rampant all over the country, you gonna leave my shit unlocked?? He gonna tell me I am trippin about nothin

  15. Grabbed the knife AND didn’t pay the rent. You’d be a fool to do anything other than immediately cut off ALL contact.

  16. Jamari. I have a buddy who is a detective. He said about 90 percent of murders are committed by people the victims know and trust. You don’t want to be threatened in your house. You tried to help her but bitch was ungrateful. She needs to fucking go! If you need a roommate advertise on Craigslist and get references and a background check (they cost as little as $35).

    Take care and be safe!

  17. Broken People Break People
    Hurt People Hurt People

    “I love you, however I love me MORE”. Wash, rinse, repeat.

    Said the psychiatrist to the patient: “Why do you keep beating your head with a hammer?”
    Patient to the psychiatrist: “Because it feels so damn good when I stop!”

    This is what breaking the cycle of dysfunction looks like – you have to become and ENFORCE the change you create. We teach people how to treat us. What have you taught?

    On your side!

  18. Goodbye, Mi. She has crossed the line–and more than once. She should have been on her best behavior but wasn’t so she broke the “deal” whether stated or not. Goodbye.

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