i was shocked and saddened when i read that mandisa from american idol died today.
i remembered her rooting for her to win.
she had such a warm spirit and was kind even though simon joked about her weight.
even though we don’t know what her cause of death is,
they are saying that she suffered from depression and spoke about her suicidal thoughts.
this is her,
without all the glam and turned “off”:

you can see the sadness within her eyes.
i’m starting to believe that…

Everyone of us is one trigger away from ending it all.

it stems from the struggles due what broke us.
rape,
molestation,
death of a loved one,
abuse,
bipolar,
clinical depression,
and so on…
there are so many layers to who we are.
there are positives but also negatives that make us up too.
for some,
the negatives become a part of our lives until they are triggered.

It doesn’t help the world has gone completely ape shit with these sense of hopelessness.

i was just telling someone how the energy feels off around us.
many of us are starting to indulge in things that bring us nostalgia.
things that bring us back to a time when we were our happiest.

If that helps,
please stay there and enjoy.
You’re never too old for things that bring you peace and make you feel safe.

it saddens me to know people are suffering in silence.
many of us are wearing masks to fit in but when we are alone,
the truth flies out and it can be hard to handle.
all it takes is one trigger to end it all.
content creation and entertainment can really bring out the insecurities in us all.
job stress,
awful managers,
money issues,
and no peace at home do the same as well.
please reach out or find a way to get help.

We need you.

rest in peace mandisa.