So let’s go back.
I’m fonting all the way back.
like,
bottles and bibs “back”.

“hey little you.”
when many of us were younger,
we were innocent and had clean slates.
the world was big and bright.
we thought turning 13 meant we were old.
those who were lucky with parents who protected them,
their childhoods were practically flawless.
the rest of us weren’t so lucky.
someone(s) showed us hurt instead of love.
sometimes it was one incident or a few that made us go mute.
that is the day we decided to lock ourselves in a cage…

I was a rebellious kid…

i was very curious,
liked learning new things (besides math),
and listened to my inner voice when something was “off”.
unfortunately,
i was scolded and beaten for those positive things.
i actually rebelled because love was being redirected elsewhere.
i learned how to be a “pick-me” because i wanted to be picked.

Picked at home
Picked at school
Picked by my mother
Picked by my father
Picked by my family
Picked by the cool kids
“Please pick me!”

sadly,
i was different and made very aware so by everyone around me.
my inner child is battered,
bruised,
and lived in a cage for all these years.
he has been in pain and i abused him whenever he cried out.

when we think back in our lives,
we all know the day we locked our inner child up.
it allowed hurt to become and define us.

Before we can even recognize our power,
we have to heal that little one,
Our inner children need healing.

that little person who wasn’t accepted by the outside world and ourselves.
we abuse that kid and treat them like how everyone else did to us.
those voices inside aren’t us.
that person(s) who took our innocence aren’t us.
it is our oppressors that we mimic because that is all we know.
parents.
siblings.
bullies.
teachers.

“You are so stupid.”
“You are so fat.”
“You are so gay.”
“You are so dumb.”
“You are so so stupid, fat, gay, and dumb so you need to die!”

it’s no secret that people often become those who hurt them:

But the real secret is we actually do it to ourselves.

we need to realize our inner self talk contradicts our outer talk.
there is war inside us between our conscious versus our subconscious.
you versus your inner child.
we need to fix it so we can truly understand our power.

lets go deeper.