Posted in A LIL TASTE OF JAMARI

i apologize.

   Published Date: January 29, 2021  7 Comments on i apologize.

my writing tends to come from a place of pain.
it’s relatable because many of us struggle with the same things.
being a black gay male isn’t easy in this hateful society.
my creative expression comes from:

hurt
sadness
depression
anxiety

for the last couple of weeks…

i haven’t been myself.
there were times i couldn’t get out of bed because i had no energy.


as much as i would unload onto my therapist,
even with his advice,
i couldn’t get “me” together.
my mind was drifting to dangerous areas and i couldn’t control it without an anxiety episode.
this unemployment issue has further sent me into the depths of hell.

i want to apologize if i haven’t been “there“.
i try to answer all my dms,
but i had no interest in anything going on in entertainment or gay life.
it was like i didn’t have the energy to write.
i haven’t even finished my other shows or listen to new music for the last month.
many of my foxholers still kept sending me stories and i’m truly grateful.

“To fight depression,
you have to stay busy.”

i’m starting to get back into my flow.
so again,
many apologies for not being “there” as i was.
i’m still working on getting back to normal.
i hope you can understand the process of it all.

7 thoughts on “i apologize.”

  1. The first part of healing is recognizing that the issue is there. If you are always in inside, you will feel closed in after a while. If you are in Brooklyn, I suggest that you go to Prospect park or any park that’s close to your home and take long walks. Even if it’s cold. Sometimes the fresh air lifts us in ways that we unimagined.

  2. Jamari, you are more than just a blogger and content creator. You are an actual person who goes through trials and tribulations, emotional ups and downs. If you need to take a break, then you take a break. We will deal with it. You’re health and peace of mind are more important. Don’t apologize for needing some time for yourself.

  3. You don’t owe anyone any apologies for needing to log out some times. Even pre-pandemic, no one ever accused life of always being easy. Stay strong man. Your feelings are a lot more common and relateable than you realize.

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