they really want a doll house in wonderland

“hey jamari.
i know you’ve been here for a week.
you’ve done a pretty good job doing all of the basic tasks we asked for.
you’ve taken initiative to make sure the office is fully stocked and cleaned.
how are you feeling about this position?
is it something you’d be interested in?…”

in a perfect wonderland,
my current supervisor would run that paragraph by me.
nope.
i sat and watched all the interviews from my head huntress come in.
not only that…

They were all white vixens

pretty white vixens with long hair.
so i sent an email to the head huntress about what was going on.
she fonted:

“I told him your interest in the position!”

i guess i got my answer.
he actually told me that he was gonna sit and speak with me today.
never did.
he only asked me if i liked the position this morning in the kitchen.
i replied that i did.
i guess i got my answer.

ya know,
this has pretty much been my life tho.
i’ve watched others be taken into consideration over me.
my family did it.
cubs in school did it.
wolves i really liked did it.
most recently.
work wolf and this other wolf did it.
it’s always done so hurtful too.
like i’m legit trash.

do you know how it felt to watch these white vixens get paraded around,
flirted with by this white wolf,
all while i’m sitting there at the desk?
that wasn’t a good feeling at all.

i’m always second best or “not even an option”.
if i was to kill myself tho…
suddenly id be this “great person who did ____________”.
it’s all bullshit.

lowkey: i’m hate that no one ever considers my feelings,
yet i’m constantly considering others.
if i was a liar,
thief,
and a scammer…
i’d by the king,
…right?

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

11 thoughts on “they really want a doll house in wonderland

  1. Stay strong bro! The universe will bring everything that belongs to you, just stay positive! I know from experience it’s easier said than done. When things like this happen to me I be wanting to do some dirty stuff to the people but my heart just won’t let me. I be hearing Denzel from John Q in my head when he told his son “You make money if you get a chance, even if you got to sell out once in a while. Make as much money as you can. Don’t be stupid like your father. Everything is so much easier with money, son.”

  2. I’m so sorry Jamari, it seems like you really like this job, but something bigger and better is headed your way, don’t let this bring you down.

  3. I know it’s hard but don’t let this get the better of you, this space was only temporary on your path to better things, it sucks but they are showing you their hand the only thing you can do is make your next move. I would talk to the headhunter about other opportunities just to have plan work out and not be taken by surprise, good luck and keep your head up the ones who aren’t seeing your light will be beggin for that brightness to shine on them one day.

  4. Yes j peace be still an abundance of blessings will come you’re way but this is our America we always are over looked some times you’ve gotta stand out net work maybe try busneiss lounge happy hour

  5. The life of a cancer Jamari. I know how you feel and I recently got an apology from my old supervisor stating that she was sorry she didn’t promote me to Assistant Executive director. I was satisfy with the apology she given and it was long time coming

  6. Open your mouth and ask them would you consider me for the job. A closed mouth does not get fed. If you want an ego stroke and someone to come up to you, then keep waiting, but those who make things happen are those who are rewarded.

  7. The universe is preparing you for what you ask for! All the failures,emotions, And doubts are part of the lessons. Once you work through that, You can Move to the next stage! I recognized every-time I handled old repetitive lessons like the juvenile version of myself Whether emotionally,verbally ,or intellectually …shit never worked out, And it was depressing aF! The more positive in becoming the more I see things manifesting…but most of all, I see I dont even want lot of the same things I thought wanted
    ˢᵀᴬᵞ ˢᵀᴿᴼᴺᴳ ᴶᴬᴹᴬᴿᴵ! ᵀᴴᴱᵞ ᴰᴼᴺᵀ ᶜᴬᴸᴸ ᵀᴴᴵˢ ˢᴴᴵᵀ ᴬᴺ ᴱˣᴾᴱᴿᴵᴱᴺᶜᴱ ᶠᴼᴿ ᴺᴼᵀᴴᴵᴺᴳ! ᴹᴼᴿᴱ ᴾᴱᴼᴾᴸᴱ ᴵᴰᴱᴺᵀᴵᶠᵞ ᵂᴵᵀᴴ ᵀᴴᴵˢ ᵀᴴᴬᴺ ᵞᴼᵁ ᵀᴴᴵᴺᴷ … ᴵᴺᶜᴸᵁᴰᴵᴺᴳ ᴹᴱ;cυrrenтly!

    – @ᴡɪsᴇ.ᴛʜᴜɢᴢɴʜᴀʀᴍᴏɴʏ

  8. Jamari: just a couple of quick points. I was in the military and more recently an admin at a financial institution and now at midlife realize i probably would have been more comfortable in a more creative field. I kept trying to fit in, recreating my birth family situation and repeating that, trying to win at it each time, trying to get a family like acceptance from a work/professional situation.
    2. Corporate jobs can be great too but there’s so much behind scenes drama and details that go into hiring that you can’t know that affect the outcome
    3. I wish your personal story and feelings were more: I did my best, i own doing and being my best. There is a place where my boss and coworkers will more fully see and know me, this place is just not it but i will feel it when I’m in it

  9. Hopefully, when he asked you did you like the job you said more than “yeah”. That was your on the spot interview to sale yourself for the position. It’s no one else’s job to get you the position. Open your mouth and sale yourself. Ask to be considered. Every moment with management is a time to capitalize on your position

    1. Jonathan: You have a great point. When asked the better response would be to say, yes i am interested! When can we meet and talk about my role, responsibilities, compensation, goals, insurance coverage and other benefits? Maybe not all of these but a few that are important

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