I went out with a friend of mine that I knew for years to an industry event the other day.
I wrote about him in blogs of past. We will call him Hubby In My Head. He is someone that I have crushed on since I first met him and now, almost four years later, we are still going strong as good friends. TOP, dark chocolate, and Spanish brotha and oh so DAMN sexy to me. He is definitely a nigga. Going out with him on a harmless get together felt so great. I sat so close to him as he did me. I slyly flirted with him and he coyly flirted with me. We wrote undercover texts to each other since we were with “The Straights”. He was scared to look in my eyes, but did anyway. I returned the favor with slight peeks. I wanted to touch him but due to the circumstances, I couldn’t. I did manage to squeeze his bicep in a low key fashion (I’m good trust). I made sure I sat next to him at all times. I poked him secretly on his butt cheek as we we walked up the stairs. He quickly put me in a playful headlock. AAAAAAH. It felt so euphoric.
But there was a slight issue…..
Yup. He already has a husband – and I was Lady GaGa (in that gif).
Why does it seem
, more and more,
everyone is in a relationship… but YOU?
Discreet gay men are either lucky or we aren’t. We can be lucky by meeting someone of our dreams and being in a relationship for a very long time. No more game playing or soul searching. We have found the one and can live a very comfortable life. While, the rest of us, are still searching for Mister Right in a room full of Mister Dead Ass Wrongs. A tiny small room in the back of the big picture, where everyone has already fucked everyone.
When us Single Fox Whores get around other couples, they are looking at us in one of two ways. There is total pity. Like, how could you be single? You are gorgeous. Yeah, tell these other TOPS that. Then, they try hooking you up with someone who is totally NOT your type just so you can join the secret Members Only Discreet Gay Dating Society.
Pin and complementary cup included with your membership.
But then, there are others who do not even WANT you to be around their man. You are officially the WHORE, MAN STEALER, or… yeah, a whore. I have went to meet fellow bottom Foxes who are with already with someone and they start displaying jealousy. Some of the TOPS were cute, while others, I wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole attached to another 10 foot pole. I am a pretty social kind of guy and I love to talk. Truthfully, I would flirt with a tree if it gave me the attention and I’m not doing it purposely I apologize that me and your man are actually getting along.
Clean your face up and join the conversation!
Truth be told, some of us have that “I don’t know him” mentality and go fuck the guy. Just like I felt when I was about Hubby In My Head. I was feeling a certain way when he is around me, like I usually do. He is a gentleman so I know nothing would pop. He is pretty committed and I respect that. The thought of taking a man that is unattainable is a thrill of many Single Fox Whores alike- but then I had to ask myself would I want that to happen to me if I was with him?
Well at least I’m with him so…… ok, I’m still trying to make a decision.
Yes! It is wrong.
Sucks but, what can a single Fox do? I would have felt bad in the morning if something did pop off…. or maybe a couple days later….
Yes it is wrong.
If he was Devin Thomas – all bets are off. Sorry.
So us, Single Fox Whores, have to wait until it is our turn. When it will be our turn to play “jealous” when a new “us” is looking at our man funny. Or, to recognize how the struggle is in this single life and actually feel pity for “the new us”. Just like Lady Gaga is the “new” Madonna. Well, there will be a new “Jamari Fox(es)” once I am taken, and he will be sniffing around my Wolf.
Let him. I own a gun lol.
Either way,
it’s a long road to love’s doorstep and I need a drink.
Just want to say what a great blog you got here!
I’ve been around for quite a lot of time, but finally decided to show my appreciation of your work!
Thumbs up, and keep it going!
Cheers
Christian, watch south park online
Yup. Totally know what your going through. It always seems like everyone is taken and you’re the odd one out. The idea of being with him is tempting but he’ll always belong to that other person no matter how good you give it to him. Sure, the attention is cute but it won’t keep anyone satisfied for too long. And 10 or 20 years from now when you meet the next Jamari Fox who spends his time sitting in his chair… all armrests and discontent… looking for forever in places with slashes and jpegs and deceit… you’ll look at him… not with pity or through the scope of your rifle like how some of your partnered associates look at you when their men are around… but with an understanding that you were in that moment once. And moments fade.
They say you have to stop and remind yourself that it isn’t your time. You still have more developing to do before you get to that point of happily ever after. Is it true? I’m still figuring that one out. In the mean time we keep our favorite love songs on repeat and pretend the lyrics are about us. Hug our pillows a bit tighter and scoot a lil further over to one side of the bed to make room… for husband to be.
Oh and “A tiny small room in the back of the big picture”
Loved that!
DAMN you hit the nail right on the head….
and Jay I have no idea wat it is because it seems you gotta b a fem ass dude to hook the type of dudes we want…bein discreet is bitch…
“it seems you gotta b a fem ass dude to hook the type of dudes we want”
Holy shyt! MrSOMagical, I didnt know anyone else felt like that! It really is true though, not offense to my fems out there, luv ya’ll, but come on! I thought boys liked boys? My friend thinks it has something to do with domination. They want the submissive type of guy because they prefer to dominate so the fem types are the ideal. I dunno what it is but we do the best we can.
I think I might have mentioned this before: you got a lotta HEART Jamari. Keep that! Also, you had some great lines in this post. “A tiny small room in the back of the big picture, where everyone has already fucked everyone.” Exactly! And, “Some of the TOPS were cute, while others, I wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole attached to another 10 foot pole.” Big Smile. Thanks, man.
Thanks Henry! I appreciate the love!