i have to be honest with the foxhole today.
since star fox’s death anniversary is coming up,
i want to lay it out on the table.
i spoke to his mother and mentioned that i would font about it on the foxhole.
i asked her if i could share the real details of star fox passing.
at the time,
she didn’t want me to say anything to anyone that may know star fox.
i don’t know who reads this site,
or who knows who,
so i kept much of the details to his death quiet.
she gave me permission to share some of it…
star fox was allegedly murdered.
i put allegedly because the details are so sketchy.
he was allegedly murdered by someone he was “close to”.
someone he “trusted”,
but i knew the jackal as well and my spirit never trusted them at all.
it seems like whatever happened was covered up to look like “an accident”.
i never believed any of the story and i still don’t.
so for all these years,
i have held onto a sadness that won’t go away.
someone took my friend away and there has been no justice or closure.
i’m low-key mad at his parents because they just sort of gave up on it.
that is the part that hurts me the most.
they don’t have the money to hire lawyers and all that,
so they gave it to God in hopes that one day the real story will be revealed.
they allegedly have a suspect they think did it,
but nothing is for certain.
nothing will probably be done either.
he was always treated like a second class citizen with them anyway.
if it was their other cubs,
i’m almost positive this mystery would have been solved.
did i mention that his tombstone doesn’t have his name on it yet?
well that’s because his parents can’t afford it.
he is buried on top his grandfather.
i legit went off on his mother about that when we talked.
she gets upset because randoms don’t talk about star fox anymore.
she wanted to connect with all those in his gay life he kept hidden,
but they have since moved on.
they weren’t close to him as i was so they have no reason to hold on.
how about getting her priorities in order tho?
she is basically contradicting herself too.
so unlike my parents,
who i knew were dying,
my friend’s life was taking way too soon.
i always feel more depressed over his death than my parents.
i’ve been wondering why i’ve been so out of it as of late?
his death date is next week so that would explain it.
when the date starts coming around,
i start feeling an un-explainable sadness deep in my soul.
i’ve been dealing with a lot of drama and stress,
but i ‘ve felt something deeper than things that can/will be fixed.
i hope that revelation can help the foxhole understand why i get so sad.
there is so much behind his death that still has me broken.
i hope one day i can get the closure to heal.
lowkey: it felt good to write this.
it’s like i exhaled once i did it.
i was scared to write it,
but i been holding that in for a while so it was needed.