“The gay lifestyle is like tupperware.
Too much bottoms and not enough tops.”
Whether it is playing an intense video game between 4 people,
being a Baller Wolf and being on the field,
or going to a party with the flyest outfit on….
sometimes a good dose of healthy competetion keeps your mojo going.
But, in this lifestyle, it seems that the more Foxes keep popping up…
The more potential threats we have for us getting the Wolves we desire.
Or, the ones who are plotting against us for the Wolves we already have.
So many Foxes vying for the same Wolf.
Hybrids offering more to the lifestyle.
And, Wolves who have more options at the buffet table.
Where do you stand above the competition?
I like to give props to where props is due.
When I see a good looking Fox, I will compliment him.
Last night, I met a Fox who even made me say “DAMN!”.
He is fine as hell and to add insult to injury, he is a model.
Like me, he has that “serious” look on his face that even intimidated me.
It made me shy and not be as open as I usually am.
Did I mention he came with his Wolf who was even finer?
It was like a sex sandwich I had in my fantasies…
As I got the low down after,
I found out that he is discreet and pretty popular in that “mysterious” way
He is always in the clubs,
is in some kind of party promotion gay group,
and… did I mention he also happens to be a model?
His skin is like butter,
his voice is so smooth,
his body belongs in a museum,
and his swagger was on 110%.
He is fine and there is no denying it.
He made me want to be a better Fox to be honest.
I watched this finer Wolf low key enjoy all that fine-ness too.
He was his man… ya know?
You could kinda tell they were together, but the Wolf was so attentive to him.
That Wolf probably gets breakfast in the morning,
some great sex,
and they go and train together.
Or, was that my fantasy image of them?
I had to ask myself, “How did he meet that Wolf?”
“Are they happy?”
“And would that Wolf even be interested in me… compared to him?”
Yes.
Yes…
I had some kind of… insecurity moment I’m not ashamed to admit.
I would never admit it out loud or even to him.
I have never felt like that before about another Fox or Hybrid,
until I saw him with the finer Wolf of dreams.
I had to wonder why someone like that Fox would make me feel some kind of way?
And, I had to wonder through all my years of maneuvering in this lifestyle,
if anyone felt that way towards me?
Is it because he reminded of me?
We were similar in many various ways, but I had to skip that and go to the negative things I was lacking.
He could have been admiring me, even though we barely spoke.
In a world where the lack of a fat ass puts you in the back of the line,
any sign of fat puts you in the penalty box,
and a pretty face moves you up front….
It all leaves you in one big ring and you are trying to avoid brutal hits to your self esteem.
Are we all doing things in competition, rather than the actual hook up itself?
Foxes outing their finest conquests online.
Wolves trying to out-masculine the next Wolf.
Shit, Foxes and Hybrids trying to compete with each other.
Ugh, I had to ask…
im assuming one was light skin and the other was black and they both had on red fitters, lol
I thought I was the only one who noticed that? 90% of the time one light skinned on and one dark skinned one. It’s so odd to me..
It’s also the same with black men and women too!!!
In a world where the lack of a fat ass puts you in the back of the line,
any sign of fat puts you in the penalty box,
and a pretty face moves you up front….
Are there other people who naturally make you feel bad about yourself?
+ I love you Jamari, and this blog is my life! i am not a bad looking fox & and i have great assets 😉 (fat ass and all) but your blogs at times only promotes 1 idea of gay and even what society expects of gay! Keep up the good work but PLEASE add some diversity eg: A thick post of guys, a couple different to the ‘gay’ grain and more self – reflective posts.
Sometimes WE need something more, different and appreciative!
Are there other people who naturally make you feel bad about yourself? X
As always, Vain speaks the truth. Looks are very important in this lifestyle and we would be lying to say otherwise. Last year I lost 40lbs, and got muscular, to say that it didnt make a difference in how I am perceived would be a lie. I have had dudes who try to holler, only the year before didnt pay me none, so I know this gay lifestyle is the most superficial on earth. Even with my homeboys, we are all cool, but at the end of the night, we are all in competition when we go out. I even had this conversation with them a couple of weeks ago. I think its in men nature to be competitive with each other no matter our sexuality. I still feel a little insecure when I see fine dudes at the gym with banging bodies, but they inspire me to put down fattening foods and get off my ass and work even harder, so thats actually a good thing in my book. Im now in the zone of wanting to be the dude who everybody says damn when I walk in the room, I got a ways to go but I am getting there, I know its superficial as well, but the attention you get is intoxicating, it may not be about nothing but it feels damn good. Just keeping it real.
Beauty is important. Its not everything because that would make u superficial and nobody wants to be labeled something negative. We tend to forget that its a lot easier to feel good about yourself when other people like and want to be around you.
i love the difference in the points of views , like im like jamary but i control myself i don’t know why, i have a friend that he is gay also, but this man gets crazy every time he see a fox walking pass him, in the gym he talk with every single guy he sees , but im kinda different cuz i dont know maybe i dont know my own strength of beauty , when im out or in the mall, every single guy stare at me, and they all are fine but i dont have the guts to get to them and start a convo, cuz i get all nervous and start thinking that, im talking to much, my mouth smell bad, or something like that, lol but i dont get all crazy when i see a fox, i just keep admire him, and thts all, even though he is watching me, but i just cant get close and start a convo any more, i used to do that and they always let me down
I don’t know. I don’t make a habit of comparing myself to other people.
For me personally, I’m attractive but I’ve never been one to put stock in my looks. I’m one of those hybrids you’ll see in the gym. Playing basketball, lifting weights, or boxing. So I guess in that way, I’m “typical”.
But I realized a long time ago that my best asset will be my career and bank account. People (even wolves) are attracted to power. This wolf I dated briefly was just turned on by the way I handled business and the fact I didn’t need him for anything.
That said, I don’t envy other people.
When I see beautiful couples together, it actually makes me really happy.
That’s not to say it doesn’t make me long for my own fulfilling relationship, but I don’t attach that longing to their situation.
My friend is a very attractive fox. But he, like myself, went through a series of bad situations. He was out here looking for love. He never gave up and now he’s finally found it in a sexy wolf that loves him INCREDIBLY. So, when I see beautiful foxes or hybrids out in relationships with sexy wolves, I remind myself that their struggle isn’t that much different than mine. More often than not, they’ve had to go through the same bullshit in finding the wolf of their dreams and that mine will come when it’s time.
In the mean time, I’ll worry about my money.
I understand where you come from, because I work in the health and beauty industry… So everything Is based on looks and all things superficial. But I must say, I’m so self involved that I rarely notice other people, because I’m usually 99.8% concerned about me, and my skin, clothes, haircut, shoes and looks that when I do see a beautiful person it shocks me! But since I feel like I’m a part of the beautiful people club, I welcome them like new brothers and sisters. I know tht sounded incredibly vainglorious but it’s true.. I very rarely get shook.
This is an interesting topic. Nobody else can make me feel bad about myself, everything that looks good aint good. Just because a person looks good on the outside, doesn’t mean that they aren’t issues on the inside. A person can have their nose up so high they can smell their own ass, and that aint cute at all. I’ll take personality over looks any day.
Finally! Someone is adult enough to admit to this out loud. I see gorgeous foxes that make second guess myself sometimes. There are lots of them in major cities, especially in Atlanta. I see them at the gym or at the mall or wen im out and about and think ‘wow, shes really pretty.’ i dont make up negative stories in my head like most people do when they see something that glitters. Talking about how there must be something wrong with them or their personalities or their finances or their personal life. I used to though, its a coping mechanism and i can understand why people do it. I appreciate beauty and give props where they are due without changing the subject. As far as where i stack up, im not the most beautiful but i think i can hold my own amongst the majority. Im not afriad to admit that there are foxes who look better than i do. And thats okay! As long as there are others, the concept of competition will always exist even if we pretend like it doesnt. We do what we do because we monitor what others do. I believe competition is what keeps us on our toes and striving to do better and be better. If dont think you’re as cute, what can you do to change that? We exist in a lifestyle that is superficial and you can either go along or u can push against it.
Oh and Congratulations to all of the self assured, ‘i don’t care about other people’slooks and it’s all about personality and loving yourself’ out there. I hope you’ve given your mirrors, well fitting clothes, and your gym memberships to needy causes.
jamari you know how i feel about looks but it would be nice to meet someone who is not a blantant queen. its funny being on this blog you hear many different views from poeple and it kills me to hear that we are all having the same prob. i would think that the wolves would be plentyfull in the bigger cities but i see im wrong. thank god im a hybrid
I agree with Luckey I dn’t get hung up on looks either, It’s all about the personality, because when I did focus on looks, all it took was for one little error to make a person unattractive and damn, so I’ve become less superficial and I’m so proud of that, but also When you focus on what you don’t have but want, everyone that’s similar to you becomes competition, The good thing about me I never find the guy that everyone thinks is “hot” attractive ex. so like if I seen Devin Thomas, Jamari I would just tell you to go for the kill bruh because you want him!!
Ive had similar experiences. When you see these beautiful fox, wolves or hybrids youre in awe of them then your self esteem might get a lil shaken for a moment but you have to remember the good things about yourself to bring yourself back but you do wonder do you make other people feel like that too. Youre not alone J
No.
Other people don’t make you feel anything. Other people are not responsible for your own feelings.
I say this once and I hope you receive it: there is nothing that fox has that you do not already possess.
Why judge yourself harshly against someone or something you don’t know intimately?
It’s never about another person or any attribute they possess.
Why feel bad when you witness someone else being–looking, feeling, doing–good?
Greatness should motivate and give hope and not as a catalyst for judgement against yourself or station in life.
P.S. There is no competition. This is not a game.
Grandma used to say “All that glitters is not gold.”
That fox and is wolf may look like the perfect couple from the outside but you never know what is going on behind closed doors. One could be abusive. The other could have a series “C” habit. Their bank account could be negative
You just don’t know.
This is what I learned in life. You can’t measure yourself against others. Ever. We all have good points and bad points. If you work on developing youself and loving yourself you don’t worry about somebody else’s tea.
Yeah, the gay world can be superficial but don’t get caught up. Like Luckey Starr is right on the money. There are hot guys with fucked up attitudes. Foxes that act like straight bitches.
Personality works every time. Give me realness over fabulosity any day.
See ya
Immanuel at http://www.dlconfessionssequel.com
Great read as usual. I dnt get hung up on looks so its easier for me to give props and not feel bad. Personality is what gets me hot. I meet too many hot studs with fucked up attitude..so to meet a hottie with a great personality and not hung up on his looks is refreshing…