as i go in the kitchen to get some food earlier,
this is what mi tells me…
“jamari…
can you clean up after yourself?
ya know…
like wash your dishes and all that?”
very smug.
i paused,
reminded myself of not taking responsibility,
and then i said:
“sure.
i’ll do that.
just make sure you don’t have my living room looking like a drug den.”
…and i walked off to the sound of crickets.
who the fuck was she talking too with that nonsense?
the amount of times i see:
– her dishes piled in the sink for days
– the living room looking a fuckin’ mess
– trash in the kitchen filled to the gaddamn brim
– other random shit on her end of the messy spectrum
…and she gonna come sideways over two dishes?
if she don’t take her ass on somewhere.
i’m realizing i’ve trained a lot of ungrateful animals.
that is the part that is my fault.
This is why I love Dishwashers, #LifeSavers
I got nothing to say because you don’t want to know what I got to say.
I would have reminded her that as long as your name is on the lease you will let shit pile up on the bathroom floor if you want to
^lmao!
Is she paying half the rent?
^yup!
so I have no complaints there.
her rent is due on time.
too bad her food and juice ain’t.
no sharing here.
“sure.
i’ll do that.
just make sure you don’t have my living room looking like a drug den.”
Damn near killed me, I was laughing so hard. She tried to try you and you put her right in her place. Way to stand up for yourself without getting one bit confrontational.
Minerva her tho hmmph😤😤😤…love the clapback!!
Well I’m glad you took that pause first lol I know you have done this before but maybe you should talk with her and explain that she has no right to ask certain things of you if she’s not keep stuff clean herself. ( I mean she probably won’t see where you’re coming from cus she seems to have no hometraining but at least when WW3 happens in your apart you can said you tried everything😎)
^ she contradicts herself so there will be no point.
this is what “nice” has gotten me.
I agree. Talking won’t help and really what is there to talk about? I’m not going to negotiate things that should be understood in my own home. That’s only going to perpetuate the idea in her mind that this is a negotiable situation. It’s not. You’re in control.
I’m curious if you see the similarities in your relationship with Mi and Work Wolf? Your actions seem to stem from your childhood losses and the need to keep people around even if they aren’t good for you. Your perception of being “nice” is your way of subconsciously controlling relationships. You can still be nice and be assertive. They can exist in tandem.
Think of your spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being as a glass of water that your constantly refilling until it pours over. What’s in the glass is for you and whatever spills over is for everyone else. If your glass is not full, then you can’t give to anyone else.
^”I’m curious if you see the similarities in your relationship with Mi and Work Wolf? Your actions seem to stem from your childhood losses and the need to keep people around even if they aren’t good for you. Your perception of being “nice” is your way of subconsciously controlling relationships. You can still be nice and be assertive. They can exist in tandem. ”
you hit the nail on the head.
everyone knows me as this “nice” or “nurturing” individual,
but those two made me feel so bad for doing it.
now i’m left with all this broken emotional glass and looking for a way to clean it up.
“Think of your spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being as a glass of water that your constantly refilling until it pours over. What’s in the glass is for you and whatever spills over is for everyone else. If your glass is not full, then you can’t give to anyone else.”
i need to read that every morning and night before bed.
irish,
you are helping and i don’t want you to stop talking lol
No problem. That’s an old quote from Oprah that I’ve always loved. I’m going through the same exact things you are. Everything that I said, applies to me as well. I get frustrated with you, the same way I get frustrated with myself. It’s not an easy process but you’re on the right track.
While you’re on this path, keep in mind that everything is not your fault. Some people are just assholes. Taking responsibility can easily turn into guilt-tripping ourselves into believing that we deserved or brought on certain treatment from others. And that leads to overthinking and over-analyzing which can bring us into a depressive state.
When you have a mind that is prone to anxiety and depression, we have a way of turning positive practices into negative ones without even knowing. Self-responsibility becomes self-blame. I noticed this when you started the book club, but I didn’t have the words to express it. I also wanted to see where it went. It’s a great idea and I support it. Just don’t be too hard on yourself on this journey.
^you are speaking to me so heavy right now.
everything you said is my struggle.
i definitely started guilt tripping myself into thinking I did something wrong.
it is clear that I didn’t,
but with them both,
i was use to running back apologizing.
first mistake.
i have been hard on myself which is why im where I am emotionally.
feeling sad and missing the good times I shared with these two.
i just want to be happy.
i am keeping optimistic about the turnaround I want to achieve in my life.
if you have anything to say,
please say it to me!
it helps when tony,
mikey,
and zen share with me.
you have me so open with your words that it has left me in deep thought.
Yeah she’s been testing you this whole time to see what she can get away with. The only thing you need to take responsibility for is the fact that you made her feel comfortable enough to speak to you that way. At the end of the day, that is your domain and you can choose to live however you please.
^i agree.
she is so ungrateful it is ridic.
i see the part i played tho.