Turn It Off and Jam It Up Her Ass

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfH3vkuxRSk]

She can’t fuck.
She can’t act.
She can’t dance.
She can’t sing.
She can’t keep a man.

What CAN she do?

Continue reading “Turn It Off and Jam It Up Her Ass”

Remember When I Use To Get All That Dick?

Life is funny.

I am sick as a dog with a stomach bug.
It feels like the devil’s incarnate mega hell stomach bug.
I am throwing up, feeling normal, and then throwing up again.
Let me not get into the shittin’ aspect of it all.

It is absolute hell.

But even during all that I realized something about this shit called life.
No pun intended.

Continue reading “Remember When I Use To Get All That Dick?”

Foxy Lifestyle: We Don’t Invest In Broke Wolves Here

When we meet any Wolf, we tend to be wrapped up in “looks”,
that we don’t remember to do proper background checks.

There is more to a man than FINE.
FINE is okay to look at and occasionally let beat the cakes…
but what about when FINE wears off and you have to get to know dude?

First question when meeting ANY Wolf: 

Are you lazy?

That should always be the first question in your mind.

Lazy = broke.
Broke = sexy.

?

Face it, most broke Wolves are the sexiest.

I am going to show you how to budget the Wolves by importance.
Who you should be taking seriously, who has potential…

… and who you SHOULDN’T even be answering their call.

Continue reading “Foxy Lifestyle: We Don’t Invest In Broke Wolves Here”

Baller Woes and Low Blows: Braylon St. Nik?

Continue reading “Baller Woes and Low Blows: Braylon St. Nik?”

The Meeting Of Married Guy

Well Married Guy just left my crib and….. *sigh*….

Ok so this is how it all started.

I was laying in my bed and watching a movie alone. I was simply just enjoying my alone time until I started getting bored and wanted some company.

Turned on the chat site to see what was biting but it seemed like all the fish swam to another part of the ocean. So after chatting with the world’s most boring nigga, I get a text from Married Guy asking if I was free and he wanted to meet me. I was in the mood to meet up but not to have sex. Well that is, unless some fine ass muthafucka showed up. He would have def rocked my world tonight. But, I settled to meet Married Guy.

So, since I never met Married Guy, I figured tonight was the perfect night. I got dressed and met him at the train. He was cute in person but he was kinda…. Doofy. He was kinda fragile looking with clothes on. He was taller than me but his style was all the way wack. I don’t know what boots those were but he should never wear then again. Plus, I smelled something that didn’t smell to fresh.

I brought him back to the spot and we talked. I kept on smelling this nasty smelling item that was part of his outfit. When he got closer to me, that is when it hit me like a lightning rod.

HIS BREATH WAS OUT OF ORDER!

I did everything I could to pay attention to what he was saying but block out that mouth venom. I put a pillow to my face, put my finger under my nose, and even my whole hand in attempts to block it all away.

So quick thinking, I asked if he wanted a massage. He took off his clothes to reveal the nicest toned body… But his breath was still the main focus of why I was turned off. So I gave him a muthafucka of a massage (my world famous massages actually) and he was in heaven.

He decided to return the favor, all while tryna sneak feels on my ass. Married Guy was horny and he was horny for this Fox. He told me I have a nice fat ass and if he could massage my cheeks.

Yeah not happening.

So I told him I had to wake up early and he had to go.

He put his clothes on and I lead him to the door. He proceeded to hug me and feel up on my ass. I couldn’t smell his throat disease so I just stood at my door hugging him. I always enjoyed it. He kept saying all the right things to get the boi puss. He was moving his hips up and down – which meant “Ima play this for a while so he will give in and give me the ass”. He kept whispering in my ear about all the sexual shit we sexted about. He felt my dick and I was hard as hell.

I may have slipped…. Until he turned to face me and I breathed in some of that breath shit and it damn near dazed me out his arms.

That was the final blow that made him have to go.

I couldn’t let him lay ontop of me with his breath smelling the way it did. I woulda been fucked into a coma from bad breath.

So yeah, no sex for Married Guy and I doubt ever. And I am okay with that LOL

Later Foxes

Brought To You By The Foxberry

Jamari Meets A Crackhead

“So you feeling me?” – he asked, nervously.

I wanted to spit in this nigga’s face but I had to contain myself…..

So I was suppose to get some dick from Married Guy BUT our schedules are conflicting something terrible. Busy is mine and Wifey is his. So Friday when he wanted to come thru, I was asleep. Saturday, a storm was blowing thru The Concrete Forest so that was a negative.

Aside from Married Guy question mark fucking, I had met Visitor on Friday on a chat site, who by his name was visiting from Atl. He was only here for the weekend, since it was his birthday and wanted some good birthday sex.

From who? Jamari, of course.

So we agreed for Sunday to celebrate in style. We exchanged a picture and he was cute. Actually fine in the face. I saw the dick and chest shot online so it sealed the deal for me. He was supposedly DL and athletic. Size of 6’3 so that means he could pick me up and have his way with me. He only sent me 1 pic and when I asked for more, he said he only had one.

Jamari. RED FUCKING FLAG. But I got caught up in his phone voice and the accent that I didn’t pay him no mind.

Sunday comes and I make sure my ass is the cleanest thing since a doctor’s office. I did a water mineral flush for that extra coating of slip and slide. Foxes I was ready to put it on him.

He wanted to go eat first, as he said on his way to my house via cab. He said he had weed and we would get our eat on, smoke on, and then fuck on.

When he called, I went to go get him but I saw no one. I did see someone gettin frisked by the police. Why was it him? It took them 15 minutes to frisk this dude. When he finally walked up to me and I saw him in the light……

….. OH MY GOD! His fucking face was SO DEFORMED.

He looked like a premature crackhead, real talk. His skin was various shades and leathery looking. He had boils on his neck. His swagg was reckless. His lips were crusty. He wasn’t athletic at ALL. He was skinny. And then, what 6’3 was this? I was taller than him. This nigga gon tell me the pic he showed me was his high school picture…. And he just turned 28????

WTH!?!?!?

I texted a friend to do the “emergency bail out” plan. That entails “you call me/i act like something happened/bad date ends short”. Foxes, always have one of those in plan. My friend texting me to fuck him anyway and that I need it.

WHAT?????? I don’t know what kind of ho you take me for but I wasn’t going to have that inside me. Sorry. I need to be attracted to you in order for you to get on top.

Walking to the resturant was all about the cops and the ticket they gave him. He wanted to buy me dinner but looking at him and eating would have made me throw up all over the table so I denied that free dinner. I texted another friend and we did the EBOP and after he ate, I stuffed him in a cab and sent him on his way.

He texts me saying if I wasn’t feeling him, I could have said. I’m not in the business of hurting feeings although I could have. These days you don’t know who is crazy. I played nice. He told me before he came to me that I better be worth it paying for a cab and coming to see me.

Nope. I know I was worth it. His lying ass was the front. Of course he thought I was sexy and really wanted to beat it up.

Not. At. All.

So he blows up my phone the rest of the night and I lay in a lonely bed, shaking my damn head with a pillow over my head.

Foxes. I hope you are getting your laughs at my expense. I am still tite.

Later.

Brought To You By The Foxberry