We have this client who comes into my job and you can hear him a mile away.
He is very loud and you can probably hear his voice in Pakistan.
We will call him Squawk because that is all he does.
Squawk is pretty gruff and rough around the edges.
Aren’t all Italians?
I guess I would give him a pass with his voice.
He has the type of voice that with the right tone,
it could turn into “come home and get this dick” type of thing.
But what is attached to the voice is just NOT kosher.
But, check it…
Squawk is the type that if he was in Hollywood, he would have some big breasted Playboy bunny hopping around him for his midlife crisis money. Trust – he has money. Unfortunately, that is not enough to snag a Fox like me. He is probably 45 on his way to buying a Ferrari to relive what he missed in his 20s.
Squawk has been checking me out for a minute and making obvious passes when no one is around.
The convo yesterday went as following:
“How have you been baby?”
“I have been good. Life has been on the up and up.”
“You been getting laid?”
“Um…err… ahhh… not really.”
“Why not? Handsome guy like you should be getting sex on the regular.”
*Is he really talking to me like this??????*
“Well, I haven’t been really looking.”
“No they need to be coming to YOU.”
“Spring is coming up so I’ll be putting myself out there then.”
“Yeah you’ll see who is fat.”
“No, no… I’ll moreso who has been working out and what was hiding underneath their winter jackets.”
“Oh you mean flab…. or that jiggle?”
*I didnt reply… LOL*
Then he goes…
“I got a pretty big dick myself.”
I was speechless.
“Have a good day baby.”
Squawk walked into the elevator… and I was still speechless.
Yeah I’m still pretty much speechless.
If I was going to do the swirl, can it at least look like Brad Pitt….
… and not a broke down swaggless version of The Fonz from Happy Days?