#boom #crunch #splat (Fucked).

imagine being in a car.
any car.
it’s yours and you are driving.
it’s a beautiful day.
sun is out.
windows down.
wind blowing in your face.
you are driving to your next destination.
the next pit stop.
it’s been a long journey,
but you have enough gas to last a while.
stop sign.
you follow the rules of the road.
as soon as you pull off to get to the next street,
a pick up truck slams the fuck into you.
you = car.
the pick up truck = life.
the outcome….

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Everything’s Different, Nothing’s Changed

people think i’m stuck up.
they say i look intimidating.
i can see that.
i went to bed last night with the last entry in my mind.
the comments got to me a little.
i didn’t feel offended,
but i had to look at myself and had to ask,

“is it me?”

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Drama King

i woke up this morning at 4am in a sweat.
it was kinda hot in my apartment,
because the heat been on “hoe in church with no draws on” level.
ironically enough,
i went to sleep naked that night.
i had a funny feeling in the pit my stomach.
something didn’t feel “right”.
i get those feelings often.
i got up and went to check the locks.
locked.
i walked throughout the crib to make sure no one was hiding in my closets.
(ha ha ha i already hear the jokes now).
nothing.
i looked at my mail on my coffee table.
no current or overdue bills.
restaurant ads and junk mail.
my apartment was clean.
i gave a quick thanks to god.
he has provided me so much and i am truly grateful.
i laid on my couch.
what was this feeling i was having?
why was i having it?
i wasn’t use to it.
then it hit me!
i was feeling the effects of “my house was in order”.
i had no drama in my life.
i’m not getting fucked on the regular,
but i don’t have to worry about some bullshit ass wolf.
no struggling to pay bills.
food was in my fridge.
i’m unemployed,
but i was still making it.
i cut off all the dead weight.
i erased a ton of useless contacts in my phone.
so why was i feeling like this?
why was i up at 4am,
naked,
and still stripping myself down looking for something wrong?
i started to wonder…
if i am so used to things going completely left field…