FOXMAIL

Hey Jamari,

So I hope you’ve been doing good personally and professionally! I haven’t really gotten a chance to read or even comment on the blog. I’m deep in Georgia taking care of my dad who has dementia. I’ve been viewing when I get a chance or time to myself.

I don’t know if you remember us talking but I remember mentioning a guy I dealt with years ago that was addicted to meth. I haven’t spoken with him in years. From time to time, I would call his last known number and leave voicemails and texts in the hopes that we would speak. I’ve been in Georgia since April and even then, I called his phone hoping that I would get him. It was one day last week that I was sitting down and I got a message on A4A by someone who called me by name. It was him. I damn near cried Jamari. He updated his phone number and gave it to me. We talked. I told him about my moving to Florida and wanting to go to Flatbush to speak to his mother (my best friend didn’t think it was a good idea) to ask for him. He told me he’s been going to church with his mother in Brooklyn and he’s been looking for me too. I asked him was he taking care of himself and he said that there’s a lot of things he wants to speak to me about when I do come back to New York. I’m assuming it’s about the drug use. I will say that he sounded less erratic now than he did in the past.

Jamari, let me be perfectly honest. I’ve dealt with men who were more handsome, better off financially, bigger, tighter, and drug free. I don’t know why I feel what I feel for this man, but every man I have ever dealt with cannot compare to him. I love him and have always loved him. He is 2 years younger than me. We would stay in my apartment all weekend watching movies and fucking. We would talk about so many things. But his drug use is what made me stay away from him. The more comfortable he got with me, the more he got open in his use of meth around me. The last time I saw him was either in 2014 or 2015 and I went to his condo in the Bronx. It was a Chinatown traphouse. We were about to mess around but, he needed to take a hit before he could perform. I left abruptly and avoided his calls and texts.

I come back to New York on June 17 and we are supposed to catch up when I get back. I know myself. I know that when I see him, I’m going to hold him and start crying. I have been looking and searching for this man literally for years and I made a promise to myself that I were to ever find him, I can’t let him go. I don’t know why I love him, but he is spiritually familiar to me. Happiness is all I feel when he comes around. I haven’t let go of the hope that I would see him or be with him again, and I feel that life has given me a second chance at happiness with the one that loves me.

Am I making the right decision in inviting this man back into my life or am I setting myself up for an even bigger letdown?

Kind regards,

MY ANSWER…

Continue reading “f0xmail: I’m Still In Love With My Meth Addicted Ex! Help!” →

instagramification – the desire of putting all of YOU on social media.
we know everything about you,
but we never met you a day in our lives.

new foxhole term.
yeah so your interest is dying due to all your social media apps.
for someone like me,
i don’t even want to look at your insta-snaps.
that will further put the nail in the coffin of my interest of you.
alas,
jamari fox is here to help you.
i’ll always look out for the foxhole.
i’ll give you two and save the rest for another time.
what?
i can’t give you everything….

Continue reading “Your Instagramification Is Ruining You” →

every time i see that “pounding of the yams” thing,
i laugh and get a bit turned on.
i’ll save my ratchetness for another time.
so valentine’s day is about a week away.

Who is going on that Valentine’s date with Idris Elba?

this is for my vixens.
i don’t think this one is “foxhole friendly”…
…or could it?
idris has teamed up with omaze for a night you may never forget.
( x see that entry here )
well since idris wants this date to be perfect,
he has teamed up with advisors to make sure everything goes smooth.
check out this video of what they spoke about…
Continue reading “Idris Elba Wants The “Pounding Of His Yams” To Be Perfect” →

orlando brown,
who use to star on “that’s so raven” and is the resident alleged crackhead,
has a message for keke palmer.
he has some words of advice for her in regards to tremaine neverson.
“trey songz”,
for those who haven’t been in the foxhole long.
keke and tremaine had some confusion a couple weeks ago.
( x read bout it here )
this is what orlando had to say to her via ig…
Continue reading “Orlando Brown Helps To Allegedly Out Tremaine Neverson?” →

i knew i was going to the event thursday night,
which started at 8pm (or was supposed to start),
so i decided to stay at work until then.
while as i waiting,
a fione wolf that i met earlier this year strolled into my office.
( x check old entry here )
thank god i was already looking fly.
he had to stop by after work to bring something to a co worker.
he wanted to come check me before he left.

“i haven’t seen you in a while…”

he said as he gave me a hug.

“i know.
i could say the same to you too.”

his back muscles>>>>
ever since i found out he…

Continue reading “the fox who cried to the fione taken wolf” →

as you know i am single.
by choice.
i decided to work on me 110%.
i want to learn to know what the love of myself feels like.
i was just saying to myself i don’t think i’ve ever loved me.
i’ve been chasing others to love me for me.
that’s some deep shit.
i know.
growing.
*hi5*
well one of the foxholers sent me the following video.
it’s titled:

“the best relationship advice i’ve ever heard!”

i couldn’t help but agree…
Continue reading ““The Best Relationship Advice I’ve Ever Heard!”” →