my name is not susan.

i hate when i’m compared to someone in their past.
they always make them out to be this angel that came down to earth,
but could never explain why that angel bounced out of their lives.
legit like this:

sidebar: i love this scene.
some shit i’d do.
future wolf:
don’t ever make that mistake.
your exes are banished.

at these jobs out here,
they always like to talk about the person you replaced.
well it happened at my job today

so i’m sick af again.
i have a cold that’s kicking my ass.
sneezing.
coughing.
stuffy nose.
low energy.
mood is inbetween “miss me with the bullshit” and “blockedT”.
in a perfect world,
i’d take a day to rest and get my shit together.
that’s a perfect world and i currently don’t live there.
according to my job,
someone always has to be at the desk.
that’s aka “we don’t like doing your job once you aren’t here”.

that’s where susan came in.

susan never missed a day.
oh no.
even when she was sick,
she was always there.
the top exec loved it because he never missed a day when he was sick either.
she was always on time and did everything even if she wasn’t assigned.
my job is to take over the role of the new “susan”.
i was told…

“susan use to come in even when she was sick.”

i guess they forgot to mention susan developed a nervous tick.
she was always overwhelmed with so much anxiety.
by the time she left,
she was a shaking shit of a hot mess and couldn’t wait to get out the door.

i’ve learned that corporate loves to gaslight black folks.
this is why most of us have a hard time adjusting.
some of us will never be white “susan” and being a doormat.
we can provide a ton of value,
but it doesn’t matter.
there will be no nervous ticks happening for me.
since i’m at work sick,
then everyone else is getting sick.
i’m that fuckin’ petty and i’m outta fucks.
my name is not susan.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

2 thoughts on “my name is not susan.

    1. ^ it’s ridiculous,
      but it shows i’m in a much better place than before.
      i have no fucks for corporate and with that new super power,
      i don’t really care to do more than what is required of me.
      anything else,
      i’ll need higher pay.
      i’m still a temp so i’m definitely not gonna bend over backwards.

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