i had a rough month in june.
like its been bills “this”,
slight drama at work “that”,
boss going crazy “this”,
and other issues to make me throw up my hands “that”.
i have been extremely exhausted when i get off of work.
i even cried in the bathroom stall today because everything hit me at once.
i didn’t want to tell “this story”,
but i needed to vent for this story.
i’m sure it may help someone else…
well a wolf decided to randomly hit me up in emails like two weeks ago.
sent their body pictures on some:
“this is who i am and i want you.
keep it on the low tho because i am a someone that is a fan of your site.”
the body was looking oh so right too.
so while talking to this person,
kinda platonic/kinda sexual,
they also gave me the best convo of my life.
when you in drama,
the fact you could escape to a pleasant distraction is amazing.
i actually felt happy when they would hit me up.
i haven’t had a good convo with a wolf i was attracted to in a while.
“i’m off my workout,
but i was thinking about you…”
so when they asked to meet me in person,
i was a tad hesitant.
i kept thinking “catfish” or “the killer”.
even in my resistance,
i still wanted to take the plunge.
i even had them make a sign to prove it was them.
it wouldn’t hurt,
this is someone who has sorta proven they play for some team.
they made it seem like they were practicing for the upcoming season.
they were also very secretive about who they were.
they made it seem like they were a big deal.
they wanted to meet,
but was scared i would out them or do something trifling to them.
“believe it or not,
you work for the media.
your blog is media…”
anyone who reads my site knows i am not that person.
hell i don’t even consider my site “media”.
either way i was completely terrified,
but i said to myself i can’t live a life where i am in fear.
plus from his words:
“i could change your life.
you mean after all this convo,
you still don’t trust me…”
so today i prayed to god.
i asked him i should meet this beautiful stranger.
i needed help.
i asked god to call on star fox,
i needed their guidance on this as well.
i saw a woman who looked JUST like my mama as i walked towards my job.
i know god was working.
the gig was up.
it was revealed that the person wasn’t who they said they were.
so after all this talk with getting into my good graces,
trying to make me trust them,
making me feel like i needed to be on point with my own shit…
you mean to tell me that it was all a lie?
who does that to someone without any kind of feelings after?
someone who expressed his concerns countlessly about meeting a stranger.
why create this elaborate story of a life he doesn’t have?
what did i do to deserve that?
i made reservations at ( x a nice restaurant ) and everything.
i was thinking of his career when i did it.
we needed to meet in a public setting,
but at a nice spot that wouldn’t draw too much attention.
we weren’t meeting to fuck.
i had the impression we were meeting to talk,
get to know each other,
and see where it went for the future.
alas i’m hurt,
but i guess grateful.
there is always a learning lesson within every situation tho.
i’ll find the right one,
but this is the one that stands out the most:
“people are so fuckin’ ignorant.”
lowkey: …and even after its all said and done,
i still wouldn’t out him.
i hope the universe will bless me with the right wolf later on.