not a positive way to kick start this entry talmbout i’m ungrateful,
but i had to be a little honest…
have you ever asked yourself:
When will it be my turn?
we all want to feel like we are doing something with our lives.
when you are hating getting up everyday,
going to a job you probably wish could lay you off,
living and breathing a routine,
it can all start to feel redundant.
i won’t lie,
but social media can fuck with you too.
you are slaving over hot paper work at someone’s office,
while “insert random attentionisto here” is flexin’ on the gram.
the fuck they be doing to do all this flexin?
i can barely afford my own life,
yet these attentionistos making shit look easy.
don’t get me wrong,
everyone around me feels like i’m “winning”.
i dress nice,
most animals of all kinds love me,
i’m able to survive due to my job,
and i’m an all around good energy to be around.
a fox should be grateful because things could be worse.
i just want to do things that i can say:
“yeah i’m a big deal”
…or am i supposed to be saying that now?
even though i don’t actually have the life i currently desire,
am i suppose to be acting like i do?
i mean the law of attraction does speak of that,
but i get so uncomfortable lying to myself.
“i am a successful blogger who lives comfortably off my talent/endorsements.
i attend every big event.
i know many celebs and baller wolves.
i have a homes in new yawk, atlanta, and cali.
i can get up when i want and travel anywhere if i feel like it.
i go on many dates with wolves in the much better circles.
i am happy.”
…but none of that is happening now so it’s hard to act like it is.
i don’t know.
i just wanted to vent because i’ve been really focused on what i want.
it’s just not moving fast enough.
that’s the ungrateful part.