i’m an ungrateful fox.

not a positive way to kick start this entry talmbout i’m ungrateful,
but i had to be a little honest

have you ever asked yourself:

When will it be my turn?

we all want to feel like we are doing something with our lives.
when you are hating getting up everyday,
going to a job you probably wish could lay you off,
living and breathing a routine,
it can all start to feel redundant.

bdeI8N0i won’t lie,
but social media can fuck with you too.
you are slaving over hot paper work at someone’s office,
while “insert random attentionisto here” is flexin’ on the gram.
the fuck they be doing to do all this flexin?
i can barely afford my own life,
yet these attentionistos making shit look easy.

don’t get me wrong,
everyone around me feels like i’m “winning”.
i dress nice,
most animals of all kinds love me,
i’m able to survive due to my job,
and i’m an all around good energy to be around.
a fox should be grateful because things could be worse.
i just want to do things that i can say:

“yeah i’m a big deal”

54d3d3031408c_-_tumblr_lyt879yrc41qhze7oo1_500…or am i supposed to be saying that now?
even though i don’t actually have the life i currently desire,
am i suppose to be acting like i do?
i mean the law of attraction does speak of that,
but i get so uncomfortable lying to myself.

“i am a successful blogger who lives comfortably off my talent/endorsements.
i attend every big event.
i know many celebs and baller wolves.
i have a homes in new yawk, atlanta, and cali.
i can get up when i want and travel anywhere if i feel like it.
i go on many dates with wolves in the much better circles.
i am happy.”

…but none of that is happening now so it’s hard to act like it is.
i don’t know.
i just wanted to vent because i’ve been really focused on what i want.
it’s just not moving fast enough.

bVsqcthat’s the ungrateful part.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

20 thoughts on “i’m an ungrateful fox.

  1. Part of the positive affirmations are true. You ARE a successful blogger, you may not be where you want but this blog and your words and thoughts have helped a lot of us through your own troubles.

    I understand your vent as I’ve been feeling the same but I’m trying to keep a positive outlook. I’m think of staying off social media for a for awhile just to see if I notice a difference in my outlook.

    Keep your head up your time is coming for sure

  2. Jamari you should do some volunteer work. I used to be the same way….waiting for my time to shine. But when you give your time/talents to others less fortunate it puts you in a better mindset to realized how bless you are. Also how can you pray to God asking for this and that blessing when you aren’t willing to serve his people. Do some volunteer work. It will bless you in many ways!

  3. This entry has hit me right in the gut. I just got home from work and it was a day of pure Fuckery and Fukk $hit, bosses wanting more work and basically saying we aint doing enough but nowhere in the equation is there more money. I am like how the hell did I end up here, I am so far off my path, just going to a job I hate daily, only happy on pay day and that is short lived. You do feel ungrateful because you know it is so many people who would love to trade places with you. You start thinking that your job sucks, your love life sucks, just your whole life. The things, you can only say to yourself and no one else. I often wonder if the people we look up to with all the things we want are just as ungrateful as we are. Social media only makes us more depressed especially when see someone we compare ourselves too, thinking hey what do they have that I dont. Some things in life are just chance and luck and being at the right spot at the right time. I just want to be standing in that lucky spot one day.

    I have put on 20lbs since the winter that I am desperately trying to get off. It is really bothering me, although in pics I still look the same, but out of these clothes, I can tell the difference. I have been working out frantically, doing meal prep and eating right, but for whatever reason, the results are not coming fast enough and it is making me frustrated and low key depressed. I feel like an ungrateful ass for even sharing such a vain story because in the big scheme of things, it doesnt matter but hard as you try, it hard to convince “me” not to be a little envious when I log onto Instagram and see all these fitness dudes I follow basically doing the same thing Im doing but getting the results I want. I had a dude I liked and was sort of crushing on come over a couple of weeks ago and tell me that I was getting a gut. I laughed it off, but I was wrecked and I notice that he has not been calling as regularly as he once did, so my mind is racing thinking he thinks I am a fat ass, but he could just be busy with other things. We are our own worst enemy and critic, no one even sees the flaws on us, like we see them on us. These are things that I would never share anywhere else, glad to be able to come here in a no judgement zone.

    1. Tajan if you haven’t done this change up your workout, if you usually run on a treadmill, maybe use other cardio machines. Also introduce free weights to your workout if you haven’t already. Maybe try juicing or doing that 21 day vegan diet. Hang in there Tajan you can do it buddy.

      1. Thank you so much Bro, ironically, I cut out meat for Lent and ate more fruits and veggies and gain weight, my doctor said it was too much sugar and go back to eating lean proteins. I am trying to break my addiction to the weights, I have gotten swole so it does not look like I have gain the weight in person, but I can tell and I know muscle weighs more but man I can not get into any of my clothes, and I want to be leaner for summer. I have forced myself on a cardio only regimen and just doing lite weight workout to maintain to see if I can lose at least 10lbs. My gym buddies love the weight gain, and trying to get me to get bigger but I am like this is enough.

  4. When I was talking to this counselor about the same topic. I kept saying how I should be this or that.

    She interrupts me and says “you beat yourself over the head with the “should” phrases huh?”

    Then she proceeds to tell me how she went from being a secretary to a computer programmer to going to school for social work at 35.

    I always have this reasoning that I have to be successful or close to it by 30. She’s really helping me not be so obsessive about it.

    1. ^i really love this comment jay.
      so much times we feel like failures if we aren’t “there” at a certain age.
      watching people succeed also feels like a blow as well.

  5. I have been feeling like this for awhile. Recently I had to go back to my law of attraction readings and figure out what I have been doing wrong. I’m working on “feeling” like I already have what I want as well as “surrendering” to actually accept better things. Sometimes over thinking can really be the problem. Just know and have faith that things will get better.

  6. Yea, I know exactly how you feel. I’m being patient and praying to God every night to attract the things I want in life. It’s hard without doubt and sometime I just want to give up, but part of me believes it will happen just got to be patient. I like to think that the reason why we don’t get the things we want immediately is because when we do get what we want then we will appreciate even more. Sometime I would see people take things for granted and then lose it in 1,2,3

  7. Yea, there is this pressure on people nowadays, but for me it has nothing to do with social media at all. The ones who are flossing are not getting these luxuries legitimately, but through the use of extreme means or doing demeaning shit. Life should not be rushed and should be taken one day at a time. Never come to the point where you envy others.

  8. Rule number 1 of attaining success: STOP COMPARING YOUR JOURNEY TO EVERYBODY ELSE. Plus u should know by now that people like to stunt on the gram. Also when you have these thoughts about ‘not moving fast enough’ , I want you to ask yourself, “Jamari, from then to now have you done everything possible to prepare yourself for the next level?”

    More than likely the answer will be No, and that’s the case with everybody whose trying to get to that life of leaving the 9to5. Also, you should know that there’s a price for living that life. Looks like yours will be around 500k- 10mil . So other than this blog, what else will help you get to those figures, vlogs? A podcast radio show? Facebook ads? Selling products ? Will you do it all yourself or hire contract writers?

    You got work to do and a foundation to finish setting up Jamari. See while everybody is “stunting for the moment ” remember you got work to do so you can be free to stunt on them hoes for the rest of your life.💁

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