If You’re Reading This I’ve Said Goodbye

Clean-Slatei deleted everything.
first step….

i cleaned out my entire phone.
i erased any reminders of the past.
i did an all around refresh.
it was time to officially move on.
i mean i been saying it,
but i wasn’t putting action towards progress.

i erased everything out of my gratitude journal,
cleaned out all my notes,
made a whole new vision board,
and said a quick prayer after i was done.

“God.
i’m grateful for all that i’ve been through.
i know you took me through so i could learn.
if it wasn’t for you,
i wouldn’t be here right now.
please help me start over.
allow all the things that are not good for me to vanish quietly.
allow me to be stronger and ready for battle.
change me for the better.
amen.”

the hardest part is starting over.
that unknown is an absolute mind fuck.
the things you were comfortable with are a bitch to remove.
i realized something tho.
things we were comfortable with can suddenly get uncomfortable.
that is why i needed a new start.
i was way too distracted with someone else.
someone that probably wasn’t good for me.
i had to see it for myself.
so i’ve wiped the slate clean.

“goodbye” can often times start a “hello”.

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…oh and i found a therapist.
the appointment is tomorrow after work.
an older snow vixen.
the issue is if she takes my insurance.
wish me luck?

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

22 thoughts on “If You’re Reading This I’ve Said Goodbye

  1. Congrats! The first step is the purge and next is the rebuild I am honestly and truthfully proud of you for taking these steps. It’s hard to do but at the end it will make you into a better man.

  2. Fingers crossed that she will take your insurance. You already know I’m wishing you good luck, you got this buddy.

  3. Love the changes you’re making. I have a tendency to hold on to old text messages and pictures so I can look back on the good times but they are things that actually tug at the heart strings and make it harder to let go of people that need to be out of my life. Good for you.

    P.S. I prey she takes your insurance if not maybe she can point you in the direction of some who do.

    1. ^i am an emotional hoarder.
      i will keep things way past their expiration date for memories.
      with “him” out the way,
      i can get back to me and how selfish I use to be about my life.

  4. I read a quote.If you are brave enough to say goodbye,life will reward you with a new hello.#newbeginnings

  5. Yea, I need to do the same with my contact list ASAP, and I am proud of you for doing that.

    I am interested to hear how this therapist thing turns out as well.

  6. Reading your post inspire me to start fresh too. I don’t want to be too comfortable where I’m at, it time for a change. And since it is March so why the hell not…. But I know it must have been hard to delete you-know-who from your contact. I’m glad you found a therapist. Btw thanks for reminding me, I need to renew my mood board

  7. Congratulations, Jamari! Letting go of the old, opens you to the new. You know I am happy you are finally going to see a therapist. Sending good vibrations your way!

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