you walk into the lunch room.
every seat is taken.
sadly, you walk around aimlessly looking for a someplace to sit.
the look on your face has a slight nervousness because you know where you may end up.
the janitors table.
only where the losers and outcasts sit.
eureka!
you see an empty spot.
as you walk towards it,
you see “that person” is sitting at the other end.
“that person” don’t like you. at. allllll.
no reason.
as you approach, they put their bag on the seat.
they turn their head back into their conversation.
as you walk away,
you can hear the faint laughs as your self-esteem gets eggs thrown at it.

——–

why is it that the people you may just actually be cool with treat you like dirt?
is it something you did to them you didn’t realize?
is it subtle jealousy, or even envy?
or, is it unbridled attraction that is getting in the way of their judgement?
let’s hope it is the latter.
i started to wonder…

Why do you think people hate you?

i know a lot of people.
i am usually cool with everyone.
ever since starting back working, there has been an out pouring of love.
i have a good reputation within the business and conduct myself in a professional way.
but within coming back,
there is one person who just cannot seem to like my foxy ass.

before i left, we were cordial.
i didn’t trust him as he was the assistant to another VP i did not care for.
he acted funny style, but i always took it to him being a “crouching nigga; hidden queen“.
he always found himself competing with me for attention from the higher-ups.
we didn’t work in the same department,
but now we do.
i saw him yesterday.
he was walking towards me and i said, “hey wassup“….
…and you know that bitch had the audacity to roll his eyes?
i nearly let him have it.
but, being that i am trying to walking with christ, i let that slide.
wtf did i do to deserve that?

later in the day at lunch,
i was talking with someone who befriended me before i left.
he is a snow fox who is out among the work place.
he is an up and coming designer and really cool.
we were talking and i mentioned the situation to him…

“oh he has a nasty attitude.” – snow fox said.
“yeah, i don’t get it.”
“he is attractive too, but he is definitely living in a glass closet.”
“oh really?”
“yup. he has all these girls thinking he is straight here,
but he fucked a mutual friend of mine. he only likes white muscle heads.”

i changed the subject after that.
but it blew me away to find out he was playing “straight“.
all this time, i thought it was pretty much confirmed.
it also blew me away to find out he was color struck.
although that could have been confirmed too.
i didn’t want him anyway.
he has a nice body, but his attitude is a major turn off.
but, if he likes it; i loves it.

i started to wonder about why people try to treat us like dirt.
i don’t get it.
you get along with all these people,
but someone comes along and dislikes us and we have a moment.
and why is it that when one person doesn’t like us,
we go off the deep end?
is it because the whole world respects us,
but that one person saw something else and didn’t want to be like everyone else?
or, are they a fucking bitch and needs to be destroyed?
i had to ask…

Do we want everyone to get along with us?

there is a spin off to this coming soon.