Almost Getting It Kind of Together (I’m Sorry)

tumblr_m7s6ghJnfO1r14dtko1_500i want to take some time to apologize to the foxhole.
yes you.
i need to be completely honest about something…

as you know,
friday started the the 6th season to “insidejamarifox.com”.
it has been a great 6 years letting you inside my world.
the good and the bad,
i can always count of you all to give me the real.
i am always thankful for that as i don’t have many friends in the life.
hell i don’t think i have many friends right now.
a lot of the straights i know are getting the block button.

tumblr_static_tumblr_static__640last year,
season 5,
has been “the trails and errors of fuck shit”.
working at this job has been completely stressful for me.
i have been in this emotional brain fart half the time.
some days are good.
other days not so good.
when i get back to the crib,
i’m so tired that i just want to crawl into bed.
add recent “the work wolf files” in the mix,
as well as “the new mi”,
and it was roller coaster city.
at one point i thought i was losing my damn mind.

Britney-Spears-Crazy-Eyes^remember when she “lost it”?
what a time that was.

anyway i want to apologize.
for neglecting your suggestions,
fox mails,
and ideas.
i gave my power to things that didn’t need it.

i see you foxholer in my google+.
your advice about giving my power away touched me.

here i am letting a job,
the people at it,
and a wolf get in the way of what is truly important to me.
all of it made me lose weight and hit an emotional rock bottom.
last night i called silent unity and asked them to pray with me.
i needed to start anew.
now that my old boss is gone,
i have faith all the negativity and added stress will be removed.

Praying-gifi let the wrong things be first in my life for the last time.
i’m getting it together with each fuck up at a time.
season 6.

lowkey: this is the official theme song for “season 6”:

leggo.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

21 thoughts on “Almost Getting It Kind of Together (I’m Sorry)

  1. And look how far you’ve come. One thing I realize and enjoy about life is that you can’t change the past, but you can always look back on a situation where you thought you wouldn’t make it out at that point and say “wow, I remember I was going through it then”. At that point you wanted to give up, but now it’s reflective. And it serves as a testimony. God aint never said life would be easy, not even for white women. Lol.

    1. ^thanks Mac!

      yeah ive learned snow bunnies struggle by just working at the job.
      they don’t have it easy at all.
      no one does.
      everyone has a cross to bear.
      some are heavier than others

      1. Jamari…it’s a song I listen to almost every day. I might miss a day here or there, but it’s a staple on my “soundtrack to life”!
        It’s upbeat and has a positive message. I remember hearing it many years ago, and I fell in love with the song instantly. Actually the CD is pretty great too, so if you get a chance…give it a listen. Inner City – Big Fun

  2. I’m glad you’ve come to this realization J. It’s so easy to give the negative things in life our energy. The important thing is to redirect that energy to something positive. Congrats on your 6th year of making the foxhole laugh, cry, learn, and share experiences. I’m sure the best is yet to come!

  3. You got this dude, your only human so it’s bound that you would have made mistakes. As I said before you and the foxhole have helped me out so much these last few years and I would to thank you all again. This is your season Jamari everything will get better at your job and I know your joining the gym this week. It’s not going to be easy but stay with it and your body will look so good and its a great stress reliever. SN: I’m sure you’ll find your wolf in there.

  4. OMG, I totally forgot about this song…it’s the perfect song for your and my season. Love will save the day. Stay strong and never give up.

  5. There’s no need to apologize, you’re just trying to figure your way in this crazy thing called life. Your highs and lows inspires us readers who are going through the same .

  6. Jamari, keep your head up! We’ll catch you if you fall!
    Life isn’t always easy when it comes to answers, we know its been tough, but you’re doing good! You always make the right decision in the end.
    Proud of you buddy, and much love!

  7. At least you are being honest with yourself about it, which is good. You were letting your mind become filled with things that didn’t ever matter. Work Wolf, Liar, and your boss had all of your energy and you need to get it back.

  8. Jamari,

    I was walking outside last week and noticing all the green trees, green grass, flowers, etc. I was saying wow, God this is beautiful. This wasn’t always the case. A few months ago things were brown. Branches were bare, grass was brown and there were no flowers. It was ugly to me. No life, no color, just dead. However, that’s part of the process and that’s what happens before we can get the beautiful flowers, the trees, and green grass. While I was walking I felt God was speaking to me and he said, that’s what I’m doing with your life. Things may look bare now. Things may even look brown. You have some drama and some things you are not happy about. However, when I’m done with you, you will see beautiful flowers in your life. Jamari, don’t get discouraged by what you see, what you feel and what you are experiencing now. It’s all part of the process. God is preparing you. God is preparing us all for something greater. I’m sure you probably have heard this song from back in the day by Daryl Coley, He’s Preparing Me! Check it out. The words are very encouraging and I think they speak directly to your situation! This song gets me every time I listen to it….. Be blessed!!!!

    Daryl Coley – He’s Preparing Me

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WcwZO9htds

  9. 6 years? Wow. We need to celebrate with some wine (chocolate wine preferable). Never forget when I saw your blog was when I was searching up Rafael Leonidas and I remember you said something about him looking chubby

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