this week feels like i’m running on empty.
i should be thrilled because my birthday is this weekend,
but i don’t even care.
but then i don’t.
besides living to see another year…
this is nothing really to celebrate.
i know that sounds very selfish,
as there are a million things to be grateful for.
my life feels like its on this row boat and i’m sailing aimlessly.
the oars fell off and i’m too emotionally exhausted to row any further.
a shark could overturn the boat and i’d probably be like “take me daddy“.
Everything is a mess.
everywhere you turn,
there is some shit going on.
violence in new yawk has gone tf up.
this job/career hunt is exhausting.
the energy of the world feels really depressing.
i feel needy and wanting extra emotional affection,
but i’m looking at the wrong sources and it’s making me feel unwanted.
i told my therapist that it feels like every week,
i’m going deep and deeper down an abyss.
he might have to put me on medication even though i don’t want that.
this scene from “how to get away with murder” legit represents me right now:
maybe i need to do ^this later.
eta: i did a voice note to further express my thoughts:
this was just a rant.
i wanted to get this off my chest.