I first want to start off by thanking you for this site!! Ever since I was 19 this has really been one of my favorite places to visit on the internet, you’re kind of like my big brother Fox in my head lol.
Okay, so here’s my issue, I’m now 25 (soon to be 26) and feel as if I have let my life pass me by. I’m a Discreet (more so DL) Fox that is originally from the Concrete Forest. After battling a crippling depression spiral for the past seven years that basically made my life revolve around going to work and going home, not really doing much besides hanging out with a few vixens that happen to be like family to me. I recently moved to the Southern Forest with this idea in my head that I was going to start building my life to take back what I didn’t get to have in my youth. But now that I’m here in this new forest I am realizing that I have no idea what I’m doing!! Part of the issue is that the career I’m pursuing in entertainment is finally making some headway and I don’t feel comfortable putting up pics on apps and the many wolves that I do catch staring, I always think that they may be out and so I talk myself out of risking it. On top of all that I have been saving my “first time” for that special wolf. & As I’m sure you can imagine this has led to me not having many intimate experiences (Kind of Embarrassing lol)…
What I really want to know is…
Is it still possible to meet a wolf in real life, without apps and online dating? Did I miss my window in my younger days to find puppy love with my Wolf in Shining Fur and instead should I just focus on having a good time for the rest of my 20’s? & If I do meet him will my lack of experience scare him off?
there is no cure for depression.
you can take as much meds as you want,
it will never truly go away.
you can learn to keep it under control tho.
that’s what i’ve been working on as of late.
i was talking to pose this morning and had an interesting breakthrough.
so i sent her this article in the “huffington post”…
“I suffer from deep depression, so my only release is music.” – kevin gates
what if you have no energy for that?
your creative outlet?
something that should make you happy?
i’m sorry foxhole…
i use to think ghosting was meeting someone,
feeling their vibe,
enjoying their conversation,
maybe even the sexual part of it,
and then they suddenly vanishing on you.
calls and texts go unanswered.
no explanation whatsoever.
they just drop you like it never mattered.
that’s one of the most hurtful and cowardly things someone can do.
it wasn’t until i realized that i was a ghosting slut as well.
i admire those who can live beyond their minds.
the ones who aren’t shackled in the dungeons within it depths.
your mind will really play tricks on you.
it’ll have you feeling like you don’t belong and shouldn’t exist.
it’ll replay past traumas that can cripple you.
i’ve been there and still there.
some days are better than others.
it can be a real struggle to find my worth.
this is one of the reasons i’m so glad mental health is being talked about.
in the black community,
it is often swept underneath the rug.
we’re told most white people are supposed to be weaker mentally,
as they tend to kill themselves due to their own mental illnesses,
but survey says that’s a whole lie as of late.
who is one of the stars in own’s “queen sugar”,
and the epitome of fine af,
released a short film he wrote and produced about mental health.
it’s called “jump” and i wanted to show it to the foxhole…
as you know,
but melyssa ford was in a car accident in july.
melyssa is a video vixen icon from the 90s,
but she now works alongside jason lee on his podcast,
well her jeep flipped over 3 times before landing upside down.
she was seriously injured because of what happened.
a few weeks later,
she posted this message on her youtube:
she is lucky to be alive.
she posted something that made me really sad on her ig.
it seems she is suffering these days…
Continue reading “the depression that is taking over melyssa ford”