“i don’t want to do this anymore.”

sometimes,
you just want to give it all up and move on.
i can understand that.
what i don’t understand is lack of communication.
we aren’t 6 or 7 anymore.
we are grown ass adults now.
we be fearless to have raw sex with a stranger,
but scared to be honest with someone we love.
baffled?
i am.
so imagine being in a relationship for close to 8 years,
you think you’re with the person you’d grow old with,
and they randomly hit you with

“I don’t want to do this anymore.
I’m gonna be gone in a week.”

to add insult to injury,
you live together.
now,
i’m sure you’d want answers.
sure,
you’re not perfect,
but you thought you were a pretty good partner.
ya’ll had fights like any other couple,
but it has been pretty chill as of late.
there was no cheating on your end,
and they claim there was none of theirs,
but they won’t even tell you what you did wrong either.
their only reasoning is…

“I haven’t loved you in some time.”

it’s a very cruel one.
so now you’re left heartbroken,
with really no closure,
and a whole apartment and bills to foot on your own.

That was what happened to my friend yesterday

it was told to them that morning.
i spent the entire day being a shoulder for them.
thank God there is no cubs or a ring.
this is the type of shit that’ll leave someone bitter tho.
like…

How could you trust someone with your heart again?

folks out here are way too cruel.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

8 thoughts on ““i don’t want to do this anymore.”

  1. What was your friend’s response when he said he wasn’t in love with them anymore? Then would’ve been the right time to have the adult conversation.

    Relationships end. It happens. Falling out of love with someone can happen. Not everything is meant to be long term.

    I don’t know your friend, but if what you’re saying is true that they’ve been together for years, I’m having a hard time believing s/he didn’t know this was coming. There are usually plenty of signs that a relationship is deteriorating. If s/he didn’t notice, that might’ve been the problem.

    1. ^she tried to talk to him,
      but he woudln’t respond or open to speaking.
      she claims she didn’t know.
      we were just talking about their relationship like two days ago.
      i heard in him in the background talking to her and there were no signs of drama.
      it’s very strange.
      something happened,
      but i think it’s on his end and he isn’t being honest about it.

  2. A person can trust again. It will take some time though.
    I’m sure there were signs there that the person may have seen and/or chose to ignore.
    There are always signs. Even I was blind to them in my relationship, and that lasted 8 years.
    It’s why I say communication is key to any relationship. Talk about things, no matter how trivial, because within the response is a sign of how things are going.
    That’s just my opinion though.

  3. I read a story a day or so about a guy who had a whole wife and kids & left them all because he was actually gay. Anything could have happened in this case though. He may be going through sonsometh mentally or anything else.

    It is common for folks to date people they are “attracted” to physically. Though I do love a good looking kat, if you’re not on the same path as me spiritually & mentally, I’m good. If I’m interested, I’ll definitely peep how attractive they are, then I’ll see where their mind is for the final test.

    People seem to have built up this idea that it’s cute or “normal” for couples to argue when it’s really not. I refuse to “fight” for anyone’s love & I sure am not taking a bunch of pictures and having a man-made ceremony to reassure myself that I’m in love, yet I’m not knocking folks if thats ultimately what they decide to do.

    I believe that if people actually invested more time in themselves instead of hoping on a happy Disneyland inspired ending, we’d be a bit happier and chill when someone does walk out of our life, if it did ever happen.

    I can tell you the bulk of the gay lifestyle is a waste of time too with this since it’s all 70% muscle and 30% peen BUT….

    There are actually some straight, gay and lesbian couples that do have “partners” and they have grown old together until one of them leaves, in death.

    No arguments, struggle or stress. Just two folks that really are into each other, vibrate on the same energy and communicate in unison. Notice I said “partners” and not spouce, boyfriend or girlfriend.

    This may sound harsh but it’s my true thought on the matter..

    This is her wake up call to realign her vibration. If her frequency and his are no longer on the same level, she needs to make a move. “Wondering why” isnt going to change anything and make him come back but if he does, it wont be genuine. Looking for an answer for something trying to understand why he is gone is wasting her vital energy. There’s nothing to understand. He doesn’t want the relationship anymore and is visibly displaying that he doesn’t .What more signs or answers could one need to let go and move on? Look at the big picture, you may not have him but at least you have a shoulder to lay on so love is still there for you in a friend. Appreciate that in this season, the next may bring sonsometh more.

    Look in the mirror and reassure yourself that you are beautiful and powerful and go about your business stronger than ever and always keep a smile on your face.

  4. Tell your friend to channel all that hurt and pain and use it as motivation to transform herself and improve herself. If she was bad before, become even badder. People who are willing to treat someone like this are not worth the tears. He will want to reconcile once he see’s that she is living her best life without him. Make sure she goes no contact!

  5. In Time she will be fine, it may take a while is she really had no clue! And that is possible. I remembered the day so clearly the moment I read this post. I remember what I had on, where I was sitting and what I was reading that day. I had put my like on hold for my 1st so I was late going back to school. I went into a 2 year nursing program and was in my first year of training when I met him. He was in a trade program and I encored him to go back to school. I went back for my BSN while he worked on his RN. We were very happy I thought for all the years of school. When he finished a year after I received my BSN we talked of him doing the same. Six Months after he passed the boards we were listening to music having a glass of wine when he said those exact words! ” I don’t want to do this any more, I want to start seeing other people.” I had not seen it coming.
    I just sat there looking at him for a long while before asking the dumbest question in the world! “Are You Sure?” The next couple of weeks were a blur, he moved out, I got accepted to U.C.S.F.. I packed my things and Moved from Houston to San Francisco. I did not realize how hurt I was until I started healing and it too 2 years to rejoin the Human race. I loved this man very much and even though he is dead and gone, I still think of him fondly. We spent some time together in 97 and he confided that breaking up with Me was the biggest mistake of his life. It seems he had been cheating with his best friend and class mate the last year we were together. That Led to a crack addition and HIV.
    Jamari one of the reasons I like your blog so very much you often post things that reflect Life as it is and as it was a healing for a lot of us. On a Happy Note I went on to love again and have had an exciting like. No Regrets because I loved him and loving someone is never wrong. Your friend will be fine in time..

    1. ^such an amazing comment.
      i felt this one in my soul as i read it.

      you never realize how much grief you have during a break up.
      moving on can be so hard,
      but once you do,
      you’re often left wondering wtf were you even thinking?

      my friend has been crying a lot,
      but i had to share personal experiences of those who had to start over.
      ima going to share all the comments in this entry to allow her see she isn’t alone.

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