he had me vex asking who the homo was in the room


Something happened yesterday and it’s bothering me…

…and i wanted to get the fohxole’s opinion.
so i was playing ps4 with one of my straight wolves yesterday.
we get in a match and this random needed help with a challenge.
he sent my friend a message from his screen name.
we helped him and after we left,
the random wanted to join us to play.
my straight wolf friend is a nice one and said “sure“.
we played a few matches with this person but they couldn’t hear us.
we were in a party chat talking and shooting the shit.
i decided,
and this was my bad,
to invite them into our party chat.
that was probably where i fucked up.
when he comes in,
i could tell he was gay.
i was happy it wasn’t a 13-year-old.
we’re not into the first game of him in the party chat and he gonna ask


i don’t know if it’s me but i wouldn’t do that with strangers.
even if someone(s) is obviously gay,
i’m going in to feel out the energy first.

Folk’s sexuality or “they black like me” doesn’t mean they gonna be good people to bring in your life.

read that again.
so before i could open my mouth to fire off a smart-ass comment,
my friend gonna go:

“Well only one of us is.”

…and i felt put on the spot by that.
so i tell this random its rude af to ask that.

“wELL my FriEnds ALWaYS AsKiNg ME iF i’M thE HoMO!”

we ain’t your damn friends.
we don’t even know you.
as the games go on,
he talking about he got a wide array of dildos and shit.
he gonna tell me i don’t sound like i’m from up north.
“oh i knew you were gay cause you have a gay accent.”
so why did you ask since you “knew”?
the whole situation rubbed me the wrong way.
later on that afternoon,
i get a message on the ps4 app from the random talmbout:

“Let’s play tonight and my friend gonna join us too.”

i didn’t answer.
if this is what you’re like,
i can imagine what your friend is like.

Have you ever had your straight friends tell your story for you?
they soft out you before you could even say anything?

vixens will do that but get offended if you revealed a male they fucked.
i had to check my friend for telling my story for me.
i don’t know this person and i was feeling them out.
he is already had a sassy little tone and demeanor when he came in.
he was doing too much overstepping and it rubbed me the wrong way.
this is the problem i have with some gays.
some of them have no home training and come off with no filter,
which can be a turn-off for other gays who are more chill and laid back.
he came in asking who the homo was?
were we supposed to start voguing or fucking?
i’m confused.
i’m honestly not interested in communicating with that random again.

Am I wrong for feeling some kind of way?

going forward,
i’ll play some games with strays first before i let them join party chats.

lowkey: people have told my story for me in the past so its triggering?

18 thoughts on “he had me vex asking who the homo was in the room

  1. I hear you on not wanting your straight friend to speak up for you, but as someone else put it, he probably wanted to make sure no one thought he was gay, as many straight males fear being tagged. (Homophobia, you know.) As someone else above asked, are you out, though, in general? No judgment, just curious.

    And on a related note, did you check out any of the New York Pride events, particularly the ones for Black/Latin LGBTQ folks?

  2. Ok so apparently none of you are gamers. Talking shit online during a party chat is common. They say off the wall things to see how hard you can concentrate during a online battle. Call of Duty, you have to know how to talk shit because your opponent may be online and you need to be able to distract him so you can take him down for your team. Fortnite, is the biggest game, where you never know if the person online you playing with that’s whooping yo ass and talking big dick energy shit… is actually a 10 year old, 13 year old or a 23 year old. There are gay gamers and they have an actual hashtag: #gaymers . People listen to your voice and try to talk about you to see what level of gamer you are. Are you easily distracted, have no filters, give zero fucks what they say, or silent threats.

    1. ^ what?

      we were playing dead by daylight and we were on the same team of survivors.
      in dbd,
      we can’t even hear the killer or other survivors unless we are in a party chat together.
      this game isnot the same as fortnite or call of duty.

  3. Yes when I was younger I only hung around girls and an acquaintance after we left a brunch was talking to a boy who wanted us to come over for an after party and she told him yea (insert my name) is with us .. he cool he gay

    Another of my friends heard her and told me so
    I asked her why she did that and she said “I didn’t want him to think you were some random nigga coming to his house to drink up his liquor” so basically said it to make me seem less threatening like oh he’s gay he’s not a threat he’s cool to come he’s with the girls

    And I still felt a way bc don’t put my name with an asterisk

    1. I can definitely relate to that and it’s annoying af! I’ll be that gay nigga coming to drink up all your liquor. How bout that!! 😂 Straights be trying to disarm people but they don’t know that it can come off offensive to us. I’m not the sensitive type so unless someone comes out to my face disrespectful or unless my good friends say anything to me then I usually brush shit off and keep moving.

  4. “he talking about he got a wide array of dildos and shit.”

    You…do know he’s gay right? It’s not a coincidence he messaged you. He’s a weirdo, but being the petty mofo I am, I would drag this out and make him regret it. I’d add him and his friend and do exactly what he did. “Who’s the homo”

    1. Also, instruct your friend in the future to deflect in the future and you’d rather he didn’t confirm someone was homosexual in the midst. It’s not difficult to be an ally.

      “Bruh, why are you worried about who’s not fvcking puzzy? That mean more for you. Now focus on the game and stop making us lose. Maybe you need some pvzzy to get your score up”

      “Shii, if there is he can help me with his vixen friends, too much sausage here anyway. Y’all don’t know any girl gamers?”

      He can turn into the sh!t talking gamers do.

  5. Your feelings are definitely valid and I completely feel you. I would have checked him and the friend but I would entertain him. He doesn’t seem like he means any harm and he could actually be a good gay friend to have. We can’t always control the package someone comes in but we can teach them how to be in friendship with us. This is a teachable moment and I hope you do talk to him again. If he disrespects or if you are simply not interested then that’s a dub.

    Lol Jamari you and me are similar in that I can tell you don’t care for the ratchet gays 😭

    1. ^lmao see i can fuck with the ratchet lite gays.
      not the ones with no filter.

      i liked how you reshaped this comment.
      you made me want to actually give him another chance….
      but ima have to teach him how to treat me first.

      1. Yeah definitely play with him sans straight so you can feel him out and what his intentions are. Hell he could probably be some potential dick for you.

  6. I get It Jamari but u shouldn’t feel a type of way about your friend, remember we as gay men don’t even like someone assuming we’re gay (because of the usual past traumas) and we ARE actually gay. so you gotta understand straight men’S FIRST reaction is to automatically get offended and even if not offended they’ll sternly correct it! It just is what it is, we can’t expect them to be strong in the face of Homophobia because they DONT know how, they have NO prior training, that’s OUR job, never let these niggas see you pressed or stressed

    1. ^ i’m glad i was getting responses like this.
      it helps me to see if i’m wrong or i feel kind a way.
      my feelings are def valid but i’m always open to hearing other sides as well

      i’m thankful because i was hesitant to post this.

    1. ^ i don’t want to make it seem like i would respond “uh no i’m not gay.”
      i didn’t even open my mouth before my friend was eta: speaking for me.

      lowkey: i think he spoke for me first because people always assume he is gay.
      so he decided to take the potential heat off him.
      thats where mind is going with why he was so quick to answer.

      1. I’d give your friend the benefit of the doubt until you speak with him regarding it (that’s if you choose to). Maybe he was trying to take the hit and diffuse the situation so that you wouldn’t have to answer. His answer was slightly vague in identifying “the homo” but I can see how it could also be seen as a soft way of outing. Being that you are actually friends, I would at the very least give him the opportunity to explain his approach and or phrasing.

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