He Ended It.

tumblr_mrcit5FjGo1rdj7z3o1_500all things must come to an end.
it can be really hard to deal with,
especially when you are emotionally attached.
well in one quick conversation,
it all came to an end with work wolf today..

so when i got to work today,
work wolf was waiting for the elevator.
when he saw me,
his eyes instantly lit up and he had a big smile on his face.
i gave him dap and we started talking in the elevator.
he mentioned nothing about yesterday.
thank god.
i was embarrassed with my behavior.
i also prayed he didn’t ask me why i didn’t respond to the text.

throughout the day,
we texted off and on.
i kept my responses pretty light.
at mid afternoon,
he texted me this:

“you want to stop by urban outfitters after work?
i need your opinion on this fit i’m coppin.”

i had nothing to do so i said i would go.
hell after yesterday,
and the comments from the last entry,
i thought he banished my existence.

giphy while we waiting in line at uo to check out,
he looked at me and said this:

“you know you mad cool.
you different.
honestly you like the only nigga i talk to the most these days.
next to these hoes,
and my fam,
you the only nigga i really text.
i don’t have a lot of friends but i consider you to be one”

he also admitted he was pissed off i questioned his trust yesterday.
he said he would “never betray me”.
his words.
in a nutshell:
he appreciates my friendship.
so i’m “friend zoned”?
i guess that was the end of that right there.
here i am lustin’ over him and he sees me as a potential friend.
i could ruin a friendship with the way i was acting.
i felt bad.
i still feel bad.
i had a “feeling”,
but i guess i misinterpreted “friendship” with “wanting more”.
tumblr_m46hsaFoL41qb9xkbwell if i can’t have him in that way,
i’m satisfied in his friendship.
 i’m gonna do myself a favor and cross “work wolf” off the list.

lowkey: is it bad i feel disappointed somewhat?

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

25 thoughts on “He Ended It.

  1. It’s ok to feel bad J. Nothing like being friendzoned by a crush, but at least you gained a friend which may be better in the long run.

      1. J. I met this dude about 3years ago and I was in the same boat..he said he only saw me as a,friend too. I waa crushes and had to deal. I didn’t want t9 not see him because we really did have great times together. Well this past April we have been in a,relationship for a year and he wants to marry me

  2. You didn’t lose anything Jamari. You only just gained a potentially a great friend. Don’t feel disappointed at all.

  3. You know what? He’s in your life for a reason. You don’t know why yet. You should rock with the friendship. I can relate to not having many friends, and when you make that kind of connection as a black male gay or straight, it’s beautiful. We all we got!

    You need to be asking him about some workout tips and go as his guest. Matter fact, sign up for the free week special. Or invite him over to play video games. Shit you like. You want a man. But men come and go. Good friends boomerang back. Message.

    1. I love this message Mac. Very true to the last word! We do need friends in this world. Its hard enough for us.

  4. sometimes u get to a point when you just be like “fuck it/him and the fuck horse he rode in on!” #icanbehonesttoo

  5. It seems like after Monday’s situation and yesterday’s discussion about it, he probably realized that’s it’s in his best interest to nip the ambiguity in the bud. Get rid of all the gray area so there won’t be any more repeats of yesterday in the future. (The constant texts to see how you are doing, him “accidentally” rubbing his crotch on you as he was getting by and the very sweet gesture of buying your lunch one day, can understandably send mixed signals). I’ll give you that.

    While I think he may be curious or at the least intrigued, it doesn’t seem he’s ready to take this any further than where it is right now. And his convo with you in person at UO was his “subtle/nice” way of conveying that. I respect his honesty about it. I also respect how openminded he is with befriending you. I respect how he was disappointed in you questioning his character yesterday, but he is willing to put it behind y’all and move forward.

    He seems like he MAY be a person worth having as a friend. You can try it and see how it goes. If you try and can’t get past your attraction to him, then it may be best to limit your interactions with him because you don’t want things to be miserable for you or make him uncomfortable.

    Thanks for sharing and best of luck.

  6. Well I am glad you guys are still friends.I believe he doesn’t ask you about your personal life is because he believes you are gay.In the same way some parents never ask their child who they suspect is gay about who they are dating.They take the Dont Ask, Dont tell approach.They are waiting for their child to come out to them.I am not suggesting or encouraging you to come out to him.I just think that may be the reason he never ask you about your love life.I think it is interesting that he said he would never betray you.That’s one of the main traits I want in a friend is loyalty and trust.

    I am glad you wrote this entry I was worried that you were upset or rattled by some of the comments yesterday.Good night

  7. That was sweet of him, I glad he didn’t get heated like most other straight guys would. He seems to really care for you and while it’s not in the way you wanted it’s something. I’m wishing you all the best in the friendship I hope it gets easier for you two.

    P.S. There is nothing wrong with being disappointed, we can’t help who we fall fall even if there are clear signs telling us otherwise. I know what it’s like to keep crushing on pineapples you can’t have. Don’t worry your wolf is out there .

  8. Sup Jamari,
    Being Friend Zone’d should not be the end of the world. While I’m sure you would love to get some wolf pipe, having a REAL friend is a luxury. Not only does he consider you a friend, he has the balls to explicity say so. Now that you know where you stand with him, you can do regular nigga shit with him (video games, gym, etc.), and just enjoying having a friend. I know that no one can ever replace Star Fox, but who knows where this friendship will go.

    P.S.
    Does he know that you’re a wolf? If so, maybe he can give you some dating advice.

  9. Channeling Carrie Bradshaw…Can you really ever be just friends with someone your attracted to?…thats the backstory to many horror movies.

  10. Aw, well, I think its for the best anyway!
    What an unlikely friendship though eh? I think its cute!
    What he said to you was really thoughtful. He sounds like he’d be a cool friend Jamari. When people say they feel hurt that you questioned their loyalty, it shows they actually do care (somewhat).

    You know what? This is probably better than him smashing you or something because he seems like he’d be done with you after that. If something like that were to happen at this point, I could see that happening, but if you guys get close, then if that happens its a slightly different story…maybe. Idk I’m not the best with this topic of advice,I know you’re bummed out, but honestly, I think this is a good thing. You can get the emotional connection without the fallout. This way, you have a friend at work that has your back, without having to worry about any awkward situations if “something” happens y’know? Its more appro[riate because you have to work there.

    I would say this is a blessing in disguise. Roll with it!

  11. Im so sorry that you are sad, Jamari. But, I have to admit that I don’t think your situation as changed. Only, your perspective on it has. At least, it has begun to change. You can’t really enter the “friend zone” until you have both acknowledged that one of the pair has romantic intentions which the other does not reciprocate. Your friendship ultimately depends on your telling him, explicitly, that you prefer men to women and that, at least for a while, you preferred him to anyone else. He then gets to say that he never liked you “like that” and you two can do the hard work of moving past it. Failing that, you will always wonder if you interpreted the conversation correctly and hold onto hope that there could be more.

    The ‘hoes” didn’t win. There was never a competition. Your boy is, at best, bisexual. That means that he never has to disconnect entirely from the expected, comfortable role of pussy hound. It means that he always has the option of settling down with a vixen or two and raising babies. ( generally not in that order.) The best possible role for you in his life was always DL side piece. Those of us who read you regularly know that you want so much more than that. That was never on offer from this dude.

    By the way, the friend zone isn’t always as platonic as it is rumored to be. My oldest and closest friendship is with a Vixen who made it clear that she didn’t reciprocate my romantic interest. Then, proceeded to propose a weekend fuckfest to get the sexual tension out of the way. (even the memory of that weekend stiffens me 15 years later). May you enjoy the same.

  12. I’m glad everything is cleared up. Though you are disappointed that he sees you as a friend, I think that this is a great thing. You two being romantically linked could have ruined a potential friendship. Through the entries you’ve written about him, I can clearly tell that he respects and cares about you. But you must respect him and his boundaries. I feel like this is the closest you’ve gotten to a good guy who treats you with respect in a while and that’s why you fell so hard for him. But you’re an amazing person! Someone will come along who fulfills all your wishes. Great things take time!

  13. Jamari this dude has to be into you, your a grown man who has his head together, you are not imagining things when this dude does things to and for you. I will say yeah he likes girls but he probably likes dudes too. Some dudes are curious it could be something about you that made him feel some type of way about you. He could of always had a desire for a dude but never acted on it. Rubbing his dick on you, getting mad when you don’t respond fast enough to his texts, buying you lunch, wanting you to help him shop, and telling you his sex stories was a huge clue either he was trying to find your sexuality out or turn you on, to me no straight dude does all that to and for a dude. He has to know your sexuality. I will say continue to just being his friend, maybe go to the gym with him, invite him over to your place or see if you can go to his, or just hang out on the weekends. The reason I say this is because he will show how he really feels about you one on one. If you want some quick penis go for it but like many said up here if you want a relationship with him maybe he’s not the one just be careful.

  14. That shit sucks! We have to suffer for our beauty, and the beauty that we find…I’ve had to play the just-friends card on at-least 5 curious brothers so far. Here’s what you do…go somewhere looking fly, and feeling fine. Put yourself in a position to feed ’em dust. You need a self-esteem boost!

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