f0xmail: “the confused” has me confused….

yesterday,
i got a dm from a foxholer requesting advice on ig.
after reading it,
i felt really compelled to answer.
this is a quick background of what was sent to me:

a foxholer is working with a male who he thinks gets down.
he has been doing the “staring,
touching,
and making suspect comments disguised as jokes” shit.
recently,
the dude decides to back tf up and goes cold.
no warning.
the foxholer is now confused af and wondering what went wrong.

you know how that goes…

since i’ve dealt with that bullshit,
i had a few thoughts.
well...

press play.

i hope that helped foxholer.
please keep me updated on further developments.
best,
jf

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Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

26 thoughts on “f0xmail: “the confused” has me confused….

  1. Keep it moving!!! Don’t waste your time with the “unsure” folk, especially when there are plenty of “sure” folk to choose from.

  2. That sultry voice of yours is intriguing! I love how you go from professional to hood back to professional! In your words I’ll allow it. Keep evolving bro!

  3. Boy, these DLs I tell you.

    Younger me: Trade..I wanna know more about this trade. I wonder if he really likes me? (Keeps thinking about it.)

    Older Me: Not interested. I prefer a man who knows what he wants and is upfront. This isnt Jr.High. Im grown and so is he.

  4. I enjoy hearing your voice and I definitely don’t deal with confused or DL men. Get to the point and tell me if you want me or not.

  5. I have the same story to share, but with a ten year gap.

    When I was in high school, the finest guy in school sent me signals, we were close, always with him.
    “you have a big butt”
    “I want to fuck you”

    I met him again, a month ago,
    I did not tell him I was gay, and asked him for a movie at the theater.
    He said yes, and keep playing with the same shit he did back in the days, I mean jokes etc…

    He told me, he’s not on “the gay shit”
    But we stayed hours after the movie to talk , then we talked hours on the phone.
    he asked me about bringing him girls blablabla
    I said I like you, he said me too……
    I want to do now, what I did not have the courage to do back in the days……

  6. This can happen but it also cant turn out not so well so I’d ask anyone to judge every situation carefully.

    ***When I was in high school, the finest guy in school sent me signals, we were close, always with him.
    “you have a big butt”
    “I want to fuck you”

    ^^ Jokes? I’ve had hella DL dudes hitting on me on the low over the years and none of them were that bold unless they really wanted to do something (which I didn’t oblige). If I hear any dude comment on another man about the size of his ass, he is automatically suspect because that means he’s been looking at the ass and has enough courage to admit it, albeit stealthily.

    You never suspect them until the two of you are alone then they true colors shine. It’s a fishing game from there.

    The only exception may be in a weight lifting situation and even in that case he would ask, “What workout do you do to get glutes. I’m trying to get MINE stronger.”

    Are y’all boyfriends now?

    If so, congratulations, you lucked out real well. Especially, for a 10 year gap. Must have meant y’all were destined.

    1. I really can into this blindly not really paying attention to the post and should have immediately had a straight face when I saw “touching”

      In any case as everyone else has said…no time for games but you can pick and choose how you handle but I do ask that if you decide to go further…be careful.

  7. But, should we advise anyone to mess around with someone at work? I’m always skeptical about office romances, as they can often go awry. I would also advise him to ignore him and keep it moving.

  8. I want to tell him the truth.
    That I am gay, and that I am into him. I want to tell him soon.
    When you say be careful, you mean he could reject me with violence?

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