in that pic,
he looks like how i feel.
pfft.

once upon a time,
i was an idiot who wanted to see the good in people after they said “sorry”.
those were fun times of learning that:

anyone can say they’re sorry when they’re sorry about their current circumstances.

it doesn’t mean they’re genuinely sorry.
we have programmed by our parentals that one word asking for forgiveness holds weight.
we were told to take an apology only to learn it meant shit in the long run,
especially when it came from siblings.

there are legit murderer that said they were sorry during sentencing,
all in hopes of getting off or a lighter sentence.

how many times has our toxic exes said they were “sorry”?
friends who hurt us and see we are doing better coming back with apologies?
“the one that let you get away” suddenly realizes you were the right one for them?

so when i saw kanye put out a full page spread in the “wall street journal“,
apologizing to the jewish and black communities for his past harmful behavior…

first of all,
i love “industry” on HBO MAX.
i randomly started watching it when it was heading into the 3rd season.
binged it in like 2 days or so.
its got the sex,
drugs,
and “something to nothing” shit i love.
highly recommend even though when they start talking finance and stock shit,
i am always left feeling confused.

last night,
they came back for their 4th season.

Foxhole:

IT WAS GOOD.

i needed that energy especially after what i’m dealing with.
there is a scene that i’m still thinking about.
this is kinda spoiler but not really.
it doesn’t give away a plot point but…

the meme i saw with ^that picture was:

“if a vixen ever look at you like this,
just know she disgusted and glad U not her man.”

i think more Foxholers need to look at attentionistos like this.
one of my fav responses to another male that’s talkin’ nonsense:

“what are you even talmbout sir?!”

…and i’m say it in a joking way but i’m dead serious.
if i’m fonting,
i’ll add “lol” or the laughing emoji for good measure.

i love is verbal sparring.

not in the “real housewives of hip-hop” way,
although that has it’s place,
but when we are talking/fonting to other males.
there is something so sexy about being quick witted and lowkey flirtatious.
it is a skill that we have but i think many of us need to get out of our heads.
i watched the interview with cam newton and rapping vixen,
lady london…

whenever you are at a transition in your life,
you end up at a bridge.
on the other side of the bridge is uncertainty.
we don’t know what will happen,
but we do know where we are isn’t working.
i believe when life gets uncomfortable,
you are pushed towards the bridge against your will.
so we end up with a few choices:

a – we slowly walk across the bridge to get to the other side
b – we turn back around and go back to what we are use to
c – we stay stagnant at the start of the bridge without crossing

but what happens when you are uncomfortably pushed towards a bridge…

i think i finally learned how to pray and have faith correctly.
it was always:

“God, I need this to happen.”
“God, I hope he wants to be with me.”
“God, Ima need that lottery win STAT.”

it came from a place of lack.
2025 was the year of the pivot for me.
so many things happened that i didn’t see coming.
and because of that,
i had to rearrange my life to suit the sudden changes.

as you know,
or maybe didn’t,
i didn’t think i’d be losing my home.

so for the last day of 2025,
i spent it with myself.
i chose myself because i’d have to learn to chose myself.
i made another decision that i’m not going to ask or beg God for what i need anymore…

i woke up with this on my spirit today.
something urged me to font because someone needed to read it.
maybe it was for me; maybe it’s for you.
this was the download:

“you don’t know”

because tbh…