foxhole,
 it’s time.
it’s time for me to go because i’m tired of being here.
what’s happening inside me is bursting.
#idobebussin
so it’s definitely time…

Continue reading “i’m ret to pack my sh*t and go.” →

when i was dealing with the work wolf saga,
i kept a private journal of my feelings around the end of that situation.
i came across it in my files and read some of the entries in it.

Foxhole,
I legit cringed.

the part when he refused to speak to me by stonewalling me,
the words i used about myself,
the actual praying he would speak to me again,
and the emotional begging i wrote in hopes we would reconnect again.
i remember how broken i was when i think back to that moment in my life.
the part of having to see him at work every day,
us not speaking,
and him legit using his own emotional warfare to purposely hurt my feelings.
was i innocent in how it crashed and burned?
probably not,
but i don’t think we were meant to be friends in the long run tbh.
i saw this post from chris brown on the shade room and i fully understood it…

Continue reading ““now i’m that futha-muckin n*gga and you’re blocked”” →

next year,
God spare my life and raise my abundance,
i want to do more out in these forests.
after these last 2 years of being in the crib,
i’m ready to be outside again.
you’ll always know when you’re ready.
shows like insecure and this new gossip girl reminds me of how much fun i used to have.

one minute i’m at a restaurant and the next i’m at a recording studio.
this city can take you on many different adventures.
so i was watching the new episodes of gossip girl and one of the characters,
julien calloway,
said something i plan on implementing in my social life.
she was talking to her father about going out for thanksgiving and she said…

Continue reading ““are you trying to chill and go back to the crib to smash after? whats the dress code?”” →

i strongly believe in the law of attraction.
i believe that what you give your attention to can manifest in your life.
some of us are powerful creators that when we think or ask for some-thing/one,
it can come to fruition in a matter of seconds.

I feel the secret is you have to be reallllllly connected to every aspect of yourself.

the pretty vixen is a master manifester.
she has manifested her amazing life and the people in it.
i’ll never forget when she manifested her boss out of her life.
almost like a month ago when we were talking,
around the time drake came out with his latest album,
she told me:

“I’m done listening to Drake and hip-hop for a while.”

crazy enough,
i’ve been indulging in drake and some hip-hop pretty heavy.
so i asked her why…

Continue reading “lemme find out teddy pendergrass helps boost your law of attraction” →

every time the holiday season comes around,
i feel immense loneliness within my soul.
i start feeling sad about “me vs what everyone else is doing”.

I wonder if there were no social media and this VIP access in their lives,
would we really care what people were doing during the holidays?

people meaning those who hurt us or our exes who easily moved on.
family members who don’t want to invite you because you’re gay.
your crackhead cousin and drunk uncle get invites but yours got lost in email somehow.
i’ve been listening to adele’s recent album and i’m sure that isn’t helping either.
that damn adele…
there is a current emotional trifecta that is happening to some of us…

Continue reading “f*ck the holidays: jamari fox 2021 edition” →

“How have you been?”

at this point,
we haven’t spoken for a month now.
some messages get answered; many don’t.
it was never like that with us.
she has been crazy busy with her new job so it’s understandable.

“I’m good.
I have cancer but I’m great…”

“Wait,
what”…

Continue reading “cloudy with a chance of cancer” →