i won’t even cap but i haven’t been watching power book 2 on starz.
it’s not that i didn’t like it but i kinda forgot.
it happened between depression and their long hiatus during season 1.
is mary still alive on that show?
last i saw was dru,
who is played by lovell adams-gray,
is mary’s gay son on the show.
r&b singing wolf,
avant,
reposted this on his ig about actors playing gay characters…

Continue reading ““THEY” WON’T EVEN DATE THE STRAIGHT ACTOR WHO PLAYS GAY ON TV” →

i fell asleep relatively early last night.
around like 10-ish.
that is early for me since i board the sleep express at 1-2 am.
i just jumped up out of my sleep due to the nightmare i was having.
i’ve been having a lot of really vivid nightmare-ish dreams as of late.
this nightmare felt real tho…

Continue reading “TL SLEEP CAUSE I’M NOT” →

i use to carry the burden of always being on all the time.
even when i didn’t,
i did it out of insecurity tbh.
i wanted people in my real to know i was poppin’ too.
i wanted the wolves i liked to know i was still here.
you know what always annoyed me?

When I was on,
people in my real life would neglect my shit.
When I’m off,
those same people were wondering why I’m not posting.
I had people in group chats discussing WHY I wasn’t posting.
“Oh he’s probably depressed again,” they said.
They had my number tho…

that use to fuck me up because they were never shy to support others.
people they talked about like trash got a like.
all of those same people are always and still “on” tho.
they have to let everyone know what cool shit they’re getting into.
it use to make me feel like i wasn’t enough but in reality…

Continue reading “THE ONES WHO CARRY THE HEAVIER BURDENS NEED PRAYERS” →

i really don’t like giving up.
that might be a gift and a curse when it came to people or jobs.
i’ve stuck around with filth way past its expiration date.
as you know,
ive been on the hunt for a new therapist.
every time i said i was gonna give up,
i’m led to a new direction in finding one.
i had my first assessment with a new one today and…

Continue reading “SO WE MET WITH A NEW THERAPIST TODAY AND…” →

The following is reading-MA
Triggering content, Adult content, Suicide

2004-ish.
it was between a lot of “being down bad“.
i was fed up with life and all the bad cards i was being dealt.
something triggered me and i was ready to end it.
pills was my drug of choice.
i had consumed a few sleeping pills and a dramatic ass voicemail greeting.
when someone called,
i wanted them to hear my goodbyes that i was gone.
after that,
i turned my phone off and went to sleep…

Continue reading “THE LAST TIME I TRIED TO TAKE MY OWN LIFE” →