friends?
there was a vixen and wolf (before they turned) i was really cool with.
this was during my brief stint as a high school student before i dropped out.
 if you came to school late,
you couldn’t get into the building so we met playing hooky.
we had a good time that day.
a week later,
they started fucking.
i’d be on the bed,
playing video games,
and he would be clappin’ her cheeks hard.
sometimes,
they’d let me touch them as they were getting it on.
she had a nice bawdy and he had a big beautiful dick and fat ass.
i was in the room when they tried anal for the first time.
they wanted me to watch.

You know I like watching people fuck.

it was good up until…

Continue reading “my friends f*cked each other, f*cked me, and karma f*cked them” →

my reality is different from some of my family members it seems.
i’m starting to realize that.
even though i love my grandmother,
it is no secret that she was abusive to us.
i think many caribbean people faced a shit ton of abuse.
the last conversation i had with my father made me realize something…

Continue reading “being raised in barbados wasn’t all sunshine and palm trees” →

i wanted to give my father all the smoke yesterday.
i wasn’t done with him.
he got an earful when we violated,
but i chose chaos when i woke up the next day.
no one gets to hurt my feelings and thinks thats okay.
nah homie.
i wanted to bring all the smoke to his yard.
yesterday,
i got fully caffeinated with an ice coffee with a shot of espresso.
it would be the battery for his destruction.
my spirit told me to call connie from the messages first tho…

Continue reading “conversations with a (middle) woman named connie” →

we all weren’t blessed in life to pick our parents.
if so,
i would have picked a father who isn’t a liar and coward.
caribbean fathers have a tendency to be the worst.
my father and i have had a very distant relationship over the years,
even when i was a kid in barbados.
it was all due to the issues between my grandmother and him.
he was only used to buy me school uniforms and haircuts.
i’ll never forget going out with him as a kid and one of his friends saying how “soft” i looked.
deep down inside,
my father knew that i would be gay but didn’t want to admit it at the time.
when we had an honest conversation a few years ago,
i revealed my sexuality to him and he claimed he already knew.
he let me know that i was his son and that he would accept me.
tonight,
things took a different turn during a phone call we had…

Continue reading “my father violated me tonight.” →

most people are used to being treated like shit.
it’s a familiar language to them.
this is why with some males,
when you treat them like shit,
they will chase you even harder.
that requires your energy to be one of:

“I’m used to dealing with men,
whether fine or not,
and you aren’t acting what my worth requires.”

many of us are too insecure to get to that point.
when we have an open spirit,
everyone will try to find a way inside.
one of the foxholers sent me this video on twitter…

Continue reading “watch out for those folks who only want to suck you dry” →

i’m not one to stay angry for too long.
i’m a cancer so i can hold a grudge,
but i’ve learned to let shit go.
folks can be bitter and age like a banana over beef if they want to.

I’m good.

after a while,
i move forward.
just because someone is a dork doesn’t mean i need to be one too.
granted,
if the wound is still fresh,
i want all the smoke.
once it heals tho,
i can see you in a public setting and be cordial.
again:

Just because someone is a dork doesn’t mean I need to be one too.

my goal is to make them look dumb as possible since they wanna act like an idiot.
imagine me having to tell the story about how horrible someone treated me,
yet i showed them nothing but love.
so i got a call today about mi,
my sister,
today.
someone who i was angry about for a long time…

Continue reading “are you changed or nah for me to attend your birthday party?” →