cam newton took down 3 dudes like a gay during day one of pride weekend

there are times when we will be out numbered.
we won’t have anyone in our corner to have our backs.
we gotta step up and take em down one by one.
cam newton did just that.
as you know,
he is a big ex-nfl baller wolf.

245 lbs

that is pure quarterback muscle.
that penis muscle is strong too cause he do be breeding.
so when he took down 3 dudes in his best church hat over the weekend…

i don’t know why he was getting jumped,
but that sorting hat from harry potter didn’t budge while he was raggin’ ‘n’ taggin’ em…

i think that’s the real conversation here.
was it being held on by safety pins?
elmer’s glue?
or wingardium leviosa?
inquiring minds would like to know.
even with all this extravagance and hieroglyphics in his ig captions:

he is fine with wild charisma.
he’s def a star.

lowkey: if cam was to be in a hogwarts,
he would def be in gryffindor.

1 thought on “cam newton took down 3 dudes like a gay during day one of pride weekend

  1. When I tell you I fell out when you said “ was the sorting hat kept up by wingardium leviosa”, I was laughing for 10 minutes.

    I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced it before but that collegiate or professional athletic muscle especially on football players is something else entirely its hard to describe its almost like an unmovable force, a lot of those feats of strength that you see are real and they can really hurt the average guy. At 6’5” and 245 Lbs , I wouldn’t even attempt to try and fight that, I would defend myself but whatever problem we have would have to be handled in court.

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