are you high level “pick-me”? (i was and i’m hiding my face in shame)

a couple of months ago,
the pretty vixen and i got into an argument.
it was over this wolf (jackal?) of interest.
she said that after all he has done in her eyes,
he wasn’t a standup type of dude.

“No!
He is a good guy!
He is just misunderstood!
You are being too harsh on him!”

now the pretty vixen is always right in judging folk’s characters,
but i was so into this dude type heavy that i wanted her to be wrong.
it wasn’t until i sat down and got introspective,
i realized he wasn’t shit and was treating me like i was the same.
i was on high-level “pick-me”.
i’ve seen this happen with other gays when it comes to other males.
some have even done it on the foxhole with attentionisitos and onlyfans stars.
it literally comes off like

“PICK ME!
ME!
RIGHT HERE!
PLEASE PICK ME!”

…with your hands up at full stretch.


you hope that by defending their honor,
they will pick you.
the goal is to get some dick or even get in a relationship.

Did you get the dick tho?

Did they send you a DM saying thank you?

Did you get put onto the VIP list for their next event?

probably not.

i did it before with other wolves besides the last one.
there was something in me that wanted to prove i “wasn’t like the messy gays“.
hey,
i’m being transparent.
it was this validation i was seeking to prove that i was “different” and trustworthy.


in reality,
i was being as messy as the others that i didn’t want to be associated with.
the crazy part?

All of them aren’t in my life any longer.

did all that pick-me behavior to be an afterthought.
you get to pick your L jamari.
pick a good one!

none of the “pick-me” behavior will get you closer to getting the dick in your mouth.
ruining your own reputation with other people doesn’t win his affections.
even with celebrities that we love so much.
i’ve seen people cuss someone out stink for beyonce who won’t even like their shit on socials.
nicki minaj isn’t in your dms thanking you for being a loyal barb.
being a pick-me means we out here doing free work in hopes of getting a shot.

You are merely a disposable henchman.

that’s simply the basis of it all.
plus,

it looks pathetic af.

 

lowkey: pick-me behavior isn’t just in relationships.

Pick-me to hang with the cool kids!
Pick-me to be the only black person at work!
Pick-me with selling out other blacks folks to the white folks!
Pick-me with to be loved more by Mom and Dad!
Pick-me to love black shit to attend the cookout!
Pick-me in outing other males (or vixens) for straight approval!

pick me!
pick me!
pick me!

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

7 thoughts on “are you high level “pick-me”? (i was and i’m hiding my face in shame)

  1. Really good post.

    BTW : Your Gifs ,Videos and Supporting Media to enhance your post be on point !! ( smile)

    That “Pick me ” Gif to accompany this article is priceless ha ha ha ha )

  2. I def think everyone has pick me qualities we all have been a “fan” of someone that may give us a head nod but they only want attention. That’s why I don’t get upset at the grandy glaze of the world bc gay men do it too, not just gay baiters . We see long winded captions on thirst traps and loyal followers eat it up
    I’m a pick me in a way that’s dif from others. I try to be admired for my mental and not my physical so it’s hard for me even when I’m friends with a looser personality, to unwind. I think jokes are sexy. I’ve never lead with sexuality.
    I’ve had friends be like your body is great why don’t u show it off

    and I’m like… because it’s MY body. It’s not twitters body what is the point of showing YOU that I have a fat ass? More followers?

    More on that, I consider a “pick me” someone who does anything to be chosen and imo, today’s society expresses sexuality just to be deemed desirable. They want a guy that’s shirtless with abs so they go bulk up and get onlyfans and then ask other pornstars to hook up under the guise of “collabs” . This is why only fans is so messy now bc it’s guys who use sex to leverage proximity to people they were once pick mes over. Your latest story about knockout and Malik rings a bell. Knockout says it’s just work Malik wants more. But that’s another topic

  3. Another Foxhole entry that hit me like a ton of bricks, if I am being honest, I have done this so many times in the past with Str8 dudes just to be in their mix and a couple of gay dudes I was attracted too. I wanted them to pick me so bad. Now as I am older and wiser I just be myself and let them pick me, they either going to love you or leave you but either way somebody one day will pick you when you least expect it. Sometimes I still even slip and fall. I follow this fine ass attentionista on IG who always make me say DAMN and it is not many who do this after being in these forest for so long, but anyway on his Birthday a couple of weeks ago I sent him $5 bucks via cash app in a moment of lust or stupidity you can be the judge after he asked his followers, but he never said thank you, never responded and anyone who uses Cash App knows you can respond with an emoji to acknowledge you got the coins. I was glad in a way he didnt because it showed my dumb ass that these pretty boys dont give AF about no one and gave me my wake up call that they aint gone ever pick my ass. A cheap lesson was learned on this day. Dont be a Tajan in these forest- Be a F. U. Pineapple I dont care if you ever pick me. Reach One Teach One (LOL)

  4. Pick-me-ism within the LGBT community is a conversation that needs to be had. The thing some gays will do to get approval from straight men and church folk can be disappoiting.

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