so i’ve learned to heal from many years of abuse,
more-so mental and emotional,
i also learned something as well.
one of the many things ive noticed with abuse is…

When someone can tell that we need them,
and we will do anything to be with them,
that is when the wrong people can sense our weakness.

 relationships,
friendships,
and even family,
i’ve learned that many abusers feed off of that.
they know we need them for the money.
when they fuck us,
they know it turns us out.
if we are chasing fame,
they know we are desperate for their connects.
if they look good,
they know we are lonely and will pay big money for the fantasy.

When the wrong person can sense a need they can fill,
they will see how far they go.

the problem really lies in:

We don’t leave at the first sign of bad behavior.

we make excuses or think we are missing an opportunity.

“I’m never gonna meet someone as fine as this again.”
“This person can help me achieve my dreams.”
“What I look like giving up this bomb ass sex?”
“I can change them and make them love me.”
“I’ll show them I’m different than the other gays.”

…and that is how they hook us in their dens of lies and manipulation.
if they really sense we are really weak,
they’ll put paws on us and shower us with love after.

Even the folks who say they’re crazy are hooked in cycles of abuse.

to an abuser,
they know we go off but the “crazy” still comes back for more.
the point i’m trying to make is:

You have to leave and never go back.

…because once you go back the first time,
that is how the cycle of abuse starts.

lowkey: i feel like folks test us to see what we will take.
if we don’t speak up or go tf off if disrespected,
it let’s them know we can be bendable.