19,000 > 19

tumblr_l5m75s8tUp1qcgbx3o1_500“cash rules everything around me.
get the money.
dolla dolla bill ya’ll…” c.r.e.a.m, wu tang

i don’t know about the foxhole,
but i need more money.
this “in between blessings” situation is for the birds.
right now i only have about a legit 19 dollars in my checking.
my savings is another form of disrespectful,
but it has a few hundreds i was able to focus and save.
well this morning,
as i was getting some money from an atm,
i saw this sitting on top of it…

IMG_3444…and i nearly:

tumblr_nfpv6pLNja1qdnqf1o3_400the funny thing is,
i didn’t feel sad about it.
i will admit that i did stare at it for quite some time.
i had to wonder what the savings account was looking like.
when i snapped out of my trance,
it honestly it made me feel good.
no i’m not crazy.
i asked myself a question afterwards:


R4VnsI6…and it all made sense to me.
so i decided to write out how my life would be:

“first of all…
i am confident.
chest is puffed out a lot more.
bravado is on super de duper fleek.
my full time blogging career is poppin’.
i make pretty good money every week from my talent.
the reason i was at the atm is because i am collaborating with a huge fashion company.
they want me to write some articles on men’s fashion and the current trends.
i’m only going down to the office because i’m cool with the designer and he is having a male model casting.
he knows i know wolves and wanted my expertise.
the “20 dollars” in case i needed lunch money.
tomorrow i have to wake up early because i have to fly to la.
business trip,
but i’ll be back on monday.
i didn’t pay for the trip because everything is pretty much comp.
even though i am more busier than ever,
i am happy because i am doing what i love rather than what i have to tolerate.
my old job and their bullshit is a distant memory.
i did see my boss randomly at an event and she coudln’t stop kissing my ass.
its a shame this is what had to happen for me to gain my respect.”

tumblr_ncf40tieN91rbrhnko1_500i have no shame in saying i took the atm receipt.
sometimes you need clear motivation.
i’m going to look at it whenever i feel down so i can remember what i’m focused on.

lowkey: the universe is trying to tell me something today.
everything that has come in my path has dealt with money.
large amounts of money.
i’m listening…

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

27 thoughts on “19,000 > 19”

  1. I needed this too.
    I’ve been kind of going through it financially lately, and im getting majorly frustrated.
    I need money, I need stability, I need to get to the point where I dont have to “think” about every fucking dollar I spend. I’m tired of cherry-picking my life. I’m just done.
    I’m so over it.
    I have similar visions as you jamari, lets keep focused! We NEED this! Good luck brother!

    1. ^you too d!
      i am def in the same boat as you.
      i feel a like change is coming tho.
      you hold on because when it happens,
      it’s going to be quick fast and in a hurry.

      1. TBH, I’m scared of that day, and sometimes opportunities can land in your lap but there’s only a short window of time to act before it disappears forever and its back to the same old same old.
        Life can work in mysterious ways, but regardless, my eyes are open, and ready.
        We deserve it.
        I try to be nice to people and still get treated like crap by certain people at work so i feel your experiences Jamari.
        Now if this can come with a wolf in a package, please LAWD I’M READY! LOL!

  2. Congrats on the LA gig. Work hard, smart, and soak it all in. You’re about to step into something great.

  3. Well you guys I got offered two different jobs today, three months after quitting my last hellish job.

    One pays $3500 more a year than the other and I’m honestly conflicted on which offer to accept.

    Everyone I’m talking to says to stop being a bitch and choose one, but my last job had a big affect on me.

    I don’t want to wake up one day and think about just leaving town altogether on my way to work.

    I have until Monday so I’m going to pray on it. I’m taking this entry as a sign I maybe should take the one that pays more.

      1. Lol both positions are in Psych so I run that risk with either one lol

        I’m really trying to go in with a plan no matter which job I choose. I ultimately want a job that makes more than these two opportunities so this is like a pit stop where I pay off everything, get some significant experience, and maybe get another degree so set myself to be in a job that makes close to 80K by the time I’m 30.

    1. Congrats Jay God is blessing you big time. I say forget about everyone else’s opinion do what feels right just because a job pays more doesn’t mean it’s worth it, I think you should make a pros and cons list and pray.

    2. Congrats Jay! I just graduated with my undergraduate degree in psychology and I just got hired at an agency doing case management. So I know what its likes to want to pull your hair out already and lose you mind. lol. Just do what you think feels right. You definetly don’t want a repeat of last time.

      1. Congrats on graduating!

        Let me know how you like Case management! Thats basically what both of my job offers are.

    3. Congrats JAY, you will make the right decision. You probably already know the answer thats riht for you. Go with what feels right! You will know!
      Good luck!

      1. @Jay thanks! it’s ok. I’m still on my probationary period. When that over, my schedule will be more flexible. I make my own schedule and I can work from home or the office. I have about 30+ clients that I have to see/speak to every month. They’re ages range from 13-60+. They have mental and/or physical issues (mental retardation, Down Syndrome, Autism, nonverbal, wheelchair bound, etc.). I go to their homes quarterly and see how they are doing and do their plan of care. I also have meetings that I have to plan with provider agencies. It’s very stressful and fast paced, but if you’re used to that type of environment you’ll be fine.

  4. You have nothing to feel ashamed about I daydream about my “better self” all the time. The one with more confidence,more money, attractive man just falling over me, the me that’s truly happy. I can’t wait to get to that “ME” so if you have to look at a receipt from time to time to remind you where you wanted to be headed I say more power to you. Shit let it be your lucky charm lol

  5. Congrats Jay!!! Extra money is always good, but its better when your getting it off of something you love to do! And Jamari add that ATM receipt to your visual board! Im going to make one! and keep you all posted.

      1. Yes!. Im super excited to make my visual board. The crazy thing is I had a co worker who also told me to do this 2 months ago when she made hers and started to following and achieve it. And might I add she seems happy and well but she still has way more to accomplish but its a good start for her. Lets take control of our life!~

  6. Let that receipt motivate you boi lol. One day your account will have a balance like that. I would have kept the receipt too. I probably would have told people it was mine lol.

  7. The weird thing about this post is that I did the same thing and my atm “friend in my head” had $56,017.69 in their checking account. I have it posted on my fridge. I see that every day as my goal.When I went to the ATM I had to pull the last $20 out of my savings and transfer it to my checking to cover one final bill. It’ll happen for us both. Belief in ourselves and ambition? There’s no stopping us!

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