relationships are a joke.
yeah.
i said it.
groan away!
everyone is looking for the one to handcuff.
hoping.
wishing.
praying.
shit i love when the attention whores of instagram post this:
…tellin’ sob stories of how they are singe and lonely.
“i am too beautiful to find love! please help!”
yet they are whoring tremendously through dms and kiks.
uh huh.
cool story bro.
is it possible to sustain a fulfilling long lasting relationship in this lifestyle?
or is it a really just a “cool story bro”?
is a relationship like wanting to be a millionaire?
so many people want it,
work their ass off to get it,
but not many will ever achieve it?
we all want what we can’t have,
but i started to wonder…
Is a relationship something hoped for, but best left unseen?
i was talking to a fox in emails yesterday about relationships.
he was actually in a relationship with a wolf for close to 8 months.
in the lifestyle that means “damn this is actually still working out?”.
well the wolf woke up and realized foxes don’t come with the all american dream.
the house.
the kids.
the dog.
the white picket fence with the astroturf lawn.
he decided to marry this vixen up out the blue.
i know.
he’s a pig!
lets find him on twitter and blow up his mentions!
in his defense,
he did give a courtesy text before he jumped ship.
aww how thoughtful….
the wolf vowed he wouldn’t participate in the lifestyle once he put a ring on it.
done.
finito.
kaput.
say bye-bye birdie.
well that was all good three months into his marriage.
he started blowing up the fox’s phone because he “missed him”.
the texts of “i made a mistake” and “i want to see you” started rolling in.
all that translate into:
“yeah so i didn’t really want pussy after all.
i miss my dick hittin that bussy.
oops!”
he even said he can balance the fox and the vixen together.
on some stevie j/mimi/joseline type shit.
sadly the fox misses him because the prospects are slim in these streets.
he was happy with this wolf too.
whats a boy to do?
sex.
that’s the new relationship.
people always complaining:
“THERE SHOULD BE NO ROLES IN THIS LIFESTYLE!”
yeah.
the screams of all the hoes in the “i’m single, but fuckin” section.
versatile in “take me seriously!” yet “i swallow on the first date!”.
we don’t see men for “oh he looks like a good match”.
it’s “damn i wonder if his dick matches the depth of my ass?”.
is there really room for relationships anymore?
social networks seemed to have killed that idea.
we can fantasize about this great love fallin’ from the sky,
but does that always work out with the happy ending?
is optimism for love just a waste of time?
you ever notice it’s easier to find a wolf to fuck you,
faster than it is to find one to actually love you?
maybe that’s why “self worth” is a foreign concept these days.
yeah so get out there and date!
do some affirmations along the way!
NOW NOW NOW!
in the end,
you are left with a lot of mileage,
some stories,
and a ton of regrets.
so are you really looking for a relationship…
This was a great entry! So I’ve been “consistently” dating this guy for a year now and we’re in talks of becoming an official couple! I’m 21 he’s 22…both college students and I honestly never thought this was possible! Being in this lifestyle exposes you to sooooo much bull that it makes you want to just say f*** it but you can’t! True love with another black man is something we all can have! But we should owe up to our part in this especially us foxes; stop letting guys only invite you to their house to chill etc…require more from these wolves and if they don’t put in the necessary work (taking you on dates, introducing you to his real friends and not just the gay ones that are always at the clubs)then don’t mess with them…simple! You can’t change a grown man so you should not waste your time trying to!
Sure you can find real love in this life, but you got to shut out the ones who aren’t shit. When you see a dude who is serious you better cuff. A dude who is ready to be in a relationship doesn’t come every 15 minutes.
Don’t throw out your self respect because of loneliness. If the wolf was cheating on him with the vixen, he’ll do it again. Maybe the vixen wasn’t the only one he was cheating with.
There are lots of lasting relationships out there…just look at all the ppl lining up to get married. I think sometimes we feel sorry for ourselves and start doing stuff we kno is not us.
U have to love urself first before u can love anyone else…
Hell no. I don’t settle for that shit, and I would never do it myself. Niggas want their cake and eat it to. Want pussy during the day and want ass and dick during the night. Once you leave me for a woman, it’s finito. There is no coming back from that shit with me.
I’m not looking for anything that’s not going to add zeros to my savings account or additional stock options to my investment portfolio.
I’d love to be in love and be in a mutually beneficial relationship, but that’s the extent of it. I’m not going to waste my time investing in a situation that’s not what I want.
If you’re looking for sex before our first date, I’m not your guy.
If you’re looking for someone to serve as a placeholder while you chase everything else out here, I’m not your guy.
If you’re looking for something to stroke your ego until something better comes along, I’m not your guy.
The problem with men out here is that they’re lazy and insecure. So the idea of pursuing someone and actually showing interest that extends beyond the obvious is not only exhausting for them, it’s an ego killer.
Would love to be in love and be in a relationship, but if today’s standard of a relationship is all I have to look forward to (cheating on one another, disrespecting one another, superficial interaction and communication), I’ll pass and invest in something a bit more secure…
…like stocks, bonds, and real estate.
Cosign!!!
Good points Random. Love the way you think.
^110!!!!!!!!
This right here!
This post spoke to me is so many ways. The prospects of actually finding someone, whether it be foxes, wolves or hybrids, to have a meaningful relationship with is really slim in this day and age because most are out for their own interest. They’re out to see what they can leech off of that person; whether it’s wealth, status or generousity. They’re not there to make their prospective partner happy nor enthusiastic about the challenge of dating / learning about someone. Then, there’s the issue of trust.
We live in a very oversexed culture. Sex is advertised in literally everything. Cartoons, commercials, magazines, billboards, etc.
It’s especially hard in THIS lifestyle. It’s like everyone’s looking for a relationship, but they are not willing to put in the work. They wanna jump straight to fuckin when you give them just a little play. A lot of the times, the first thing they ask you is “So are you a top,bottom or verse?” It’s like damn, can I get your name first? No one wants to wait anymore either. I read this on another blog:
“The longer a couple waits to have sex, the stronger a bond they form. If you so choose to still date while practicing abstinence, such as I have done for years now, it really does affect the way you get to know someone. Sometimes people don’t have much in common, so they rely on sex to build a common bond, and when sex is used to make a ‘connection’ with someone, the end result will most likely be disastrous. Without common interest and goals outside of the bedroom, no relationship built on sex will survive, and it isn’t wise to stay in one or build one based solely on that factor.”
^so deep!
listen i like sex.
i am sexual as you can tell.
i don’t like to have it all the time.
sometimes I just want someone to talk too.
strictly talking.
how many times can you say you actually laid in the bed with a man without something happening?
not too many.
WOW great entry and very thought invoking…now that i’m quickly approaching 30 i want more, i want a relationship and usually when i finally do have sex, i don’t often now because of what’s out here, the man i’m involved with usually goes from saying “i just wanna be friends with benefits” to “malcolm why are you single we should make something happen” the problem is alot of black men are like this nowadays, they tell you they want a relationship meanwhile they have a vixen also, and they want you to be okay with it…my ex and i broke up because of that he wanted to do whatever he wanted to do yet if i even mentioned another person, he would get jealous…this lifestyle sometimes can be tedious and stressful however i’m not here to judge to each his own, as long as your happy right?
^hell im judging!
some of these wolves want their cake,
ice cream,
oreo cookies,
and a hot pocket *k michelle voice*
all leading up to gassin you up and being full of shit.
then they want you to be okay with it.
you should try something with that guy malcolm.
maybe it may work?