9 thoughts on “The Best Way To A Wolf’s Heart… Through His Friends?”

1. Hahaha so tru

2. Hey Tajan:

   Your story was great and here is my example of a triangle gone really bad several years ago my best friend who was in the military was transferred over seas, and his wife didn’t want to go with him and she had a lot of valid reasons not to go. My friend’s marriage as so horrible and toxic that it was doing so much damage to their children. Their marriage was so bad I that I had jokingly offer to pay for the divorce lol well kind of jokingly. Throughout their marriage my friend and his wife tried to make me the third person in their marriage and I dealt with it by redirecting them to talk to each other by pointing out how their behavior was impacting on their children.

   Anyway my friend went over seas without his wife and kids and his wife who was fooling around on my boy prior to his transfer when into hookup over drive and took up with another soldier on the base. Although I was tempted to tell my boy what was going on I choose not to because I had learn that often times that getting involved in a friend’s relationship even for the right reasons that they usually will turn on you and then turn around and make love to their partner lol. Also my boy was so whipped that I never told my boy what was going on with his wife because I knew that he would never leave her he wasn’t that strong of a person.However I did my best to remind my boy’s wife almost daily that her behavior was inappropriate and that I did not support what he was doing and I reminded her that her children were privy to what was going down. One day one of my friend’s old co-worker from his old unit saw that my boys wife was parked and this dude’s quarters almost every morning that he called my boy overseas and told him what was up. Since my boy was unstable and emotionally immature he became suicidal, and he was hospitalized and placed on a 24 hr suicide watch.

   When word got back to his wife in the states of course she denied everything and then she filed a formal complaint against the poor guy who thought that he was looking out for his boy, and was severely disciplined by the military ( I think he lost a stripe), and my friends marriage continued for another 10 years. Today my former best friend isn’t talking to me any more because he thought I should have told him what was going on with his wife, and I told him that it wasn’t my place to get involved and how I reminded him several times that he needed to tighten up as a husband and do right by his wife before things go south. Honestly I had no regrets for what I choose to do, and if face with the same choices I would do it all the same way.

3. As usual another great topic. What happens when you dont want to be a part of the triangle but you are dragged in it never the less. I had the situation with one of my boys getting with a out of town fox, well he is always working and wants me to entertain his fox, well fox got to be close to me in a non romantic way, telling me all of their business, I felt like I was walking on a tight rope, because fox wanted me to be his ally since he didnt know anyone and I felt like I cant betray my boy he is like my brother, well when the shit went south, my boy told me that my loyalty was to him and he didnt even want me talking to his fox anymore, I was like damn you are the one who put this together in the first place–WTF, but I decided that me and my boy had been friends for years so I did stop communicating with his ex-fox and felt like crap because he really was a nice dude and he was hurt that I did this, but loyalty is important to me. I told my boy I dont give a flip what he does in his future relationship, I dont even want to get to know them, of course he is in a new situation and says Im not being fair by not getting to know his new dude. But at the end of the day we do care what our friends think of our mates because they are the closet thing to family since most of the time we really cant share or discuss our relationships with our real families. You can tell alot about a man through his friends but sometimes those same friends are your doom.

4. Jar:

   I think it is all of the above, because most of the feedback that I posted on your site come from my mistakes, or what I deem as a mistake. I just learned whenever I seek any type of advice I usually consider the source. Meaning I only go to people who have their stuff together, and who can give me objective feedback. My experience with triangles as victim of several is that my significant other never really give their confidant clear and objective facts. They usually only report their side of the issue and they usually leave out very critical information.

   When I was he college my girlfriend had the entire city mad at me lol because she constantly misreported all of the facts about our relationship to her friends and the end result they hated me. In the end it was her friends feedback that helped to do our relationship in. The funny part of it is that my girlfriend constantly talked about how jacked up her friends were especially in relationships. I think the main issue with getting relational feedback from friends is that you are going to open yourself to what they think or feel and for better or for worst and to them looking cross eyed at if you don’t follow their advice. Again I suggest that if you need to seek relational advice you must look at the source of the person who is giving you feedback and if they are together emotionally, spiritually, professionally and are in stable long lasting relationship then I think that person may be a good resource for feedback. I hope this make sense to you. I think that sometimes when an individual constantly seek romantic advice from a person they unintentionally give them power over his relationship.

5. Hey Jar:

   I think that most all relationships are subjected to triangles and why I mean by triangles is that most people will seek advice from their friends or a good friend about what to do in their relationship. In other words most romantic relationships usually involve three people, you, your significant other, and your confidant. Being in a triangle has it’s ups and downs because we all need a shoulder to cry on and your confidant can often see things in your relationship that you cannot. However if you have a confidant who acts like they are in the relationship with the dude then they can cause some serious turmoil in your relationship if you are not able to filter out the good feedback from the bad.

   Signs of bad feedback from a confidant will usually involve the use of the following words : “you should do this”, or “if I were you I would say this”, good feedback will usually use the following words “what do you think,” “well I am concerned about you,” have you though about this”, or just be careful. In my personal and dating life I tend to try to avoid being apart of a triangle either by giving by staying objective (not taking sides), and by encouraging them to have a conversation with their significant other about their concerns or issues. As a wolf I think the best way to a wolf’s heart is just to practice unconditional love. -). In my experience most people who usually give feedback on how to keep a man usually have the worst relationships lol

   1. ^^you think so Blk?
      well these self help books from celebs are usually disasters because they never live up to what they preach about (see following entry)

      but do you think people who tell you how to keep a man are just giving you advice from their mistakes? or what they deem as mistakes?

6. There are going to be plenty of people who will disagree and say your friends may be jealous of you and your relationship and will try to break you up so you can be alone just like them or so they can make moves on him themselves. I don’t know why people would still be friends with individuals like this? Its often the story they paint in fysh friendships where there’s always one “hatin’ ass bytch” who hates everyone the other dates. I’m sure the right thing to do is to trust your instincts and take their advice into consideration but not base your decisions on them.

   As for me, what my friends think of who i date is very important. They know me better than i know myself in some instances and they provide an outside perspective that most people within relationships can’t see because their libido and emotions have gave them a D&G pair of rose colored sunglasses with matching case. When my friends say they don’t like someone, I pay attention. I know I’m a pretty good judge of character and have been right every single time in pointing out men who are not a good fit for a relationship with my friends. Takes a while for some people to realize it but it always ends up the same: “you were right.” I make the effort to introduce whoever I’m dating to my friends in order get their reactions.

   Now, the idea of getting to a wolf’s heart through his friends only works if he has a nice group of friends and you get an opportunity to meet them. Many wolves I’ve come across have either been loners or keep the two (dating & social life) completely separate.

   1. ^^good response.
      I am also a good judge of character and have helped people see the light….
      … no matter how much they were trying to block it.

      Have you ever met a Wolf you were dealing with friend?

      1. Yeah, a few times. They’ve generally liked me.

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