can i have one of you fine gentleman put my bags on the bus for me?

i can understand why a lot of people are hesitant about therapy.
they make you unpack all the bags you have been carrying with you for years.
my new therapist has had me in a royal funk this last week and a half.
she is pretty intense.
i’ve felt intense sadness,
suicidal thoughts,
acceptance,
and indifference all in one neat package.
it all started with us talking about an incident i was having the week before last.
she decided to dig deeper in a bag that i’ve kept locked tightly.
well…

Continue reading “can i have one of you fine gentleman put my bags on the bus for me?”

therapy sucks.

today is a tough day.
it’s an emotionally tough day.
when it comes to therapy,
i think many people have the wrong idea about it.
people,
especially some black folks,
have a fear of really opening up and revealing their feelings.
males are taught that showing emotions is “weak” and “feminine“.
gay males are taught something is wrong with us o be like “insert male figure in life here“.

I have very limited males I’ve looked up to

maybe my uncle,
but i was intimated of him because he came off cold af.
yesterday’s therapy session really conjured up a shit ton of emotions for me…

Continue reading “therapy sucks.”

a technique i did in therapy yesterday that i had to share with the foxhole

i could not wait to get to therapy yesterday.
some therapy sessions are just venting,
but when i find out something about myself,
i get excited that i want to share it.
after i unloaded about yesterday’s entry,
i wanted to share a technique he did that really helped…

Continue reading “a technique i did in therapy yesterday that i had to share with the foxhole”

laying in the dark, listening to r&b, is therapy

r&b creates magic within me.
it can make me happy,
emotional,
horny,
or heal my broken heart.
when my soul is aching,
a good r&b mix-tape can do just that.
i’ve been feeling really out of it lately,
but my soul urged me to do something i haven’t done in a while…

Continue reading “laying in the dark, listening to r&b, is therapy”

i need to do me better (two chairs; one fox)

i just had something happen in therapy that i have to share.
before he called,
i was filled with anxiety and doubt.
there were so many things going on in my mind.
after the call,
i feel lighter and more relieved.
so it involved two chairs Continue reading “i need to do me better (two chairs; one fox)”

put a leash on your inner demons and feed them something different

Graphic – Yuri Shwedoff

“Demons are like obedient dogs; they come when they are called.” – Rémy de Gourmont

i’m learning to train my inner demons to be more obedient.
so i learned something valuable in therapy today.
i wanted to share it with the foxhole.
someone else needed to hear it…

Continue reading “put a leash on your inner demons and feed them something different”