i can understand why a lot of people are hesitant about therapy. they make you unpack all the bags you have been carrying with you for years.
my new therapist has had me in a royal funk this last week and a half.
she is pretty intense.
i’ve felt intense sadness, suicidal thoughts, acceptance,
and indifference all in one neat package.
it all started with us talking about an incident i was having the week before last.
she decided to dig deeper in a bag that i’ve kept locked tightly. well…
today is a tough day. it’s an emotionally tough day. when it comes to therapy, i think many people have the wrong idea about it.
especially some black folks,
have a fear of really opening up and revealing their feelings.
males are taught that showing emotions is “weak” and “feminine“.
gay males are taught something is wrong with us o be like “insert male figure in life here“.
I have very limited males I’ve looked up to
maybe my uncle,
but i was intimated of him because he came off cold af. yesterday’s therapy session really conjured up a shit ton of emotions for me…
i could not wait to get to therapy yesterday.
some therapy sessions are just venting,
but when i find out something about myself,
i get excitedthat i want to share it. after i unloaded about yesterday’s entry, i wanted to share a techniquehe did that really helped…
r&b creates magic within me.
it can make me happy, emotional, horny,
or heal my broken heart.
when my soul is aching,
a good r&b mix-tape can do just that. i’ve been feeling really out of it lately, but my soul urged me to do something i haven’t done in a while…