one of the last things my mother told me on her deathbed was:

“make sure you and your sister don’t get separated.
i want you both together.”

…and i tried.
if it wasn’t jackals circling her money,
it was relatives coddling her because she was “light skin”.

Foxhole,
it was a challenge.

i often wonder what our lives would have been like if we moved to florida?
we were supposed to go live with our uncle,
but tbh,
his life crashed and burned a few years later.
as my sister got older,
her mental health got worse and worse.
unfortunately,
we don’t have the kind of relationship my mother wanted for us.
she hits me up ever so often with “i’m gonna do better” DMS.
i don’t answer because she isn’t gonna do better.

i’ve been seeing a lot of discourse online about rue,
who is played by zendaya on “euphoria“.

people saying lexi was mean.
people saying her mother should have tried harder.
people saying they wanted a happier ending for rue.

mmm.

until you’ve loved someone struggling with addiction,
or severe mental health issues…

“euphoria” ended how it was supposed to end.
i don’t like how the final third season went at times,
because it almost felt like a completely different show.
nate jacobs in his humiliation ritual arc being the main one.

it felt like the creator of “euphoria”,
sam levinson,
cut nate’s balls off,
made him wear the dog outfit cassie had on,
and had him be his little bitch until he was euthanized.
along with that story line,
labrinth being cut from music (because he created a whole mood),
and jules being pretty useless,
i think the ending was pretty solid.
spoilers included…

Episode 5 of Euphoria on HBO called “Stand Still Like the Hummingbird”…
Jesus…
Give Zendaya all the Emmys.
The whole cast has been ACTING this season too.

 people don’t realize how draining it is dealing with an addict.
it’s like when you see them all you remember is when they were good.
we always want to protect those we love.
when we’re forced to watch those we love circling the drain,
you literally feel powerless in the situation.
what do i do?
how do i fix this?
i think my biggest issue with addicts is…

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